


Under the Table and Dreaming

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Violence, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Thaddeus Ross is a ass, White Wolf Steve Rogers, soul bonds, soul marks, soul mates, there's so much i'm forgetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 55
Words: 75,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: The Accords happen, but there's a twist.  Steve and Bucky start corresponding through email.  I have no idea how to give this a summary.  Please read.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Nakia (Black Panther)/T'Challa, Wanda Maximoff/Shuri
Comments: 63
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Things you need to know: Read the tags because this isn't compliant to anything after The Avengers. There is violence, but it's just in two parts and involves Bucky. Soul marks don't show up until the person suffers a trauma and then a bond can't be made until both people have their mark. Tony and Natasha don't come across well, but they do believe they're doing the right thing.  
> I've never written anything this long and is not for SilverRowan_Ivy630951, this story would not have happened. Some of the ideas came from them and I wouldn't have gotten it all out if not for the late night and early morning chats.  
> This story is finished, but I'm going to be editing chapters.

Steve bangs his hand against the table top. He’s been reading this damn report for two days and the more he reads the angrier he gets. Why in the hell would Tony agree to this? Secretary Ross is a madman that seems to want to take over the world and Steve’s been there and done that. His biggest question about all of this is why Tony Stark would be part of it. The more he thinks about it, the more unsettled he becomes.

Getting up, he puts on his running shoes and heads out. He needs to clear his head and sitting in his apartment, staring at that report, isn’t helping. He needs to talk to someone, but he doesn’t know who. On his way back to the apartment, he stops in for coffee and it comes to him. If anyone is going to be able to talk him through this, it’s Clint.

Sitting on the stoop outside his apartment, he pulls out his phone. It rings a couple of times before Laura answers. “Hello?”

“Uh…hi, this is Steve Rogers. I was hoping to talk to Clint.” There’s a sigh on the other end and Steve realizes how this must sound to her. “Oh, I’m not calling about a mission. I just need someone to talk to.”

There’s a chuckle and she calls out for Clint. “Are you okay, Steve?”

“No ma’am. I’m not.” Taking a sip he tries to release some of the tension he’s feeling.

“Hey…hi Cap…what’s up?” Clint sounds out of breath, but really happy.

“Hey Clint, you got a minute?” He gets an affirmative and starts filling Clint in on the report he got by nefarious means, thank you newly acquired computer skills. When he’s gone through everything he’s read so far, he takes a shaky breath.

“Well man, I gotta tell ya, this is part of why I got out. Someone, eventually, was going to try to put a leash on us and I couldn’t be around for that.” There’s a break then Clint says what he’s really thinking. “Ca…Steve, there’s nothing that says you have to keep doing this. You don’t owe anyone anything. You’re paid up in full. If this doesn’t feel right, then just walk away.”

The real fear comes out then. “Clint, I don’t think they’ll let me.” They talk for a while longer. Nothing gets solved, but Steve does feel better.

Steve goes up to shower and finish reading the damn report. He knows that it’s going to be signed and he knows that the Avengers are going to all sign too, that much was made clear. He just has to find a way to not sign. After his shower, Steve sits back down with the report and that’s when he really loses his mind.

_‘Amendment 14 – All resources will be made accessible to the nations whose signatures are here within, from those naturally found in the Nation of Wakanda.’_

And if that isn’t bad enough, he reads:

_‘Amendment 17 – Any enhanced persons who gives a refusal to sign, will be detained for a duration determined by the counsel.’_

So, that’s that then. If Steve doesn’t sign, he’s going to be arrested and kept who knows where for who knows how long. Now, he’s absolutely sure that he’s not signing this piece of crap. He’s got to come up with a plan, some way to stall all of this so that he can figure a way out. He spends the night pacing his apartment and thinking about his options, which aren’t many. By morning, he knows that he has to do something drastic, something that will cause enough chaos that it will distract the powers that be and give him enough time to get away. 

Once he makes his decision, he sends a text to Clint. _‘Over the next few days you’re going to hear some stuff. It was the only way.’_

In return he gets: _‘Take care of yourself, Steve.’_

Steve spends the day doing research and finds what he’s looking for on the Main Campus of NYU in Greenwich Village: Dr. James B. Barnes, Department Chair and Professor of Ethics. The following morning he goes out to find a copy store, has them scan the report and email it to Steve’s account. Not the one that SHIELD or the Avengers set up for him, but the private one that he didn’t tell anyone about. Going to the nearest internet café, he buys a coffee and time on the computer. Checking the email to make sure everything is as it should be, he checks his phone for Professor Barnes’s email.

_From:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_To:_ [ _DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Professional Opinion_

_Attachment: OfficialreportAccords.pdf_

_Dr. Barnes,_

_This document came across my desk and I found it to be disturbing and wondered about your ethical opinion on the matter. I know this comes out of left field, but I believe that many civil rights and ethical dilemmas are presented in these pages. If you have the time and desire, please give it a read and email me back._

_Thank you,_

_A concerned citizen_

Once he’s done sending the email, he penetrates the firewall of the café, yes, Natasha did teach him a few useful things, and erases his activity. Heading out onto the street, Steve sees the tail that he’s had since this whole thing started last week. He’s not sure if it’s SHIELD or Tony that put them on him, but it doesn’t matter because all of this is wrong.

Letting himself into his building, he stops at the end of the hallway when he sees Wanda sitting on the floor outside his apartment. She’s looking at something on her phone, but quickly stands when she sees him coming. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming back, but I had to take a chance.”

He doesn’t trust this because he knows that Tony knows that Steve thinks of Wanda like a little sister and he doesn’t put it past the genius to use that against him. “What are you doing here, Wanda?”

Her lower lip starts to quiver and tears well up in her eyes. “Steve, we can’t sign this. We just can’t, but if we don’t, I don’t know what will happen.” She wraps her arms around her middle, trying to gain control. “I’ve lived in a world where other people are making my choices for me and I’m scared.”

Stepping up to her, he embraces her, holding on to the only other person that seems to understand. She must have read the partial report they had at the Compound and knows what it means. She may only be 17, but she’s a smart girl and with her background, this must be frightening. “We’re going to go inside, but we can’t talk out loud about this. Someone’s had me bugged since last week. We’re going to carry on a conversation and write everything we really need to talk about.” He pulls back, looking her in the eye. “Do you understand?” Nodding he leads her in.

After talking about what they want for lunch and Steve placing the order, they busy themselves with mundane conversation about what everyone else has been up to. All the while, writing out what Steve’s plan is. When she sees what he has planned, her eyes get wide with worry. She tells him about Natasha and a coffee mishap at the Compound, but writes _‘are you sure this is the right thing?’_

He laughs at her story while writing, _‘I have to create a disturbance and give us time to get away.’_

She tells him about Vision trying to cook. _‘Where will we go?’_

Steve asks about how it tasted and Wanda tells him it was the worst thing she’s ever had. _‘I haven’t figured that out yet.’_ She looks frightened all over again, but she looks at him with complete and utter trust.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV

James Buchannan Barnes sits at his desk, dreading having to read the under-grad ethics papers when his computer dings with an email. Looking up, he snorts at the senders account name. He wonders if it’s from Sam and this is some kind of joke, but as he reads, he becomes more and more curious. He scans the attachment and finds it safe, so he opens it. Sitting back in his chair, hand over his mouth, he knows what he’s looking at.

This is an official document from the Enhanced Oversight Committee and not just part of a report, but the whole document. Pulling his chair closer, he starts to read becoming more and more engrossed in what he’s finding. There’s a knock on the door which makes Bucky jump. “Come in.” He closes the window on his screen, looking up to greet whoever it is. Sam grins and holds up a cup of coffee from the good place down the block. “Man, you know just how to get on my good side.”

Sam comes around the desk, glancing at his screen. The essay on screen is noticeably formatted wrong. “Dude, you are going to need more than coffee to get through that.”

Bucky looks at the computer screen and groans. “This kid is not going to pass my class on this alone.”

“And how many of these do you have to get through?” Bucky thinks about the class and does a mental count.

“Uh…about 45. I’m going to need vodka to get through them without hurting myself or hunting them down and hurting the students.” Sam barks a laugh and heads for the door.

“Call me when you’re ready to head out and we’ll get dinner and drinks. I’ll even buy.” The door closes and Bucky brings up the other screen. He knows he could show this to Sam, could trust him not to talk about it, but not knowing who sent it or what he’s going to find when he gets into it, he can’t take the chance that it might get Sam into something dangerous. Even with Sam’s military training, Bucky needs to protect him. 

Wondering how secure the university’s servers actually are, Bucky hits print and jogs down the hall to get to the printer before anyone else. Going back to his desk, document held tightly to his chest, he deletes the email. He moves through the rest of his day, head not in the lecture that he’s giving or the papers that he’s grading. The document stays in his briefcase and he doesn’t let it out of his sight.

That night, when he gets home, his phone rings. Checking the screen, it’s Sam. “Hey.”

Bucky can hear noises in the background and Darcy yelling at the phone and remembers Sam offering dinner and drinks. “Where are you, man?”

“Shit Sam, I’m sorry.” He tries to come up with an excuse and decides on those poor under-grads. “After reading those essays, I was so tired I came straight home. Rain check?”

“Yeah, of course. Did the essays get any better?” Sam says something to Darcy, who makes a booing sound into the phone.

“No…no they did not. That’s why I came home. I think my brain is fried. I’m going to head to bed.” They talk a little longer and then Bucky hangs up. He hates lying to his best friend, but in this, he doesn’t have a choice.

Bucky grabs something quick to eat and sits in the living room and reads. Alpine climbs into his lap, kneading on his leg, then curls up with a small ‘meep.’ Stroking the cat’s soft, white fur, he focuses on the report. He doesn’t sleep that night, but the document has his adrenaline pumping. By morning, he’s finished reading through it and wants to scream. He’s got a class at 11, so he goes to shower around 9. When he comes out, there’s a text from Sam. 

_‘You will not believe the shit going on. Turn on your TV.’_

Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, stands in front of a group of reporters giving a statement. Bucky sits heavily in a chair and watches. Sensing his distress, Alpine jumps to the back of the chair and then climbs down onto his shoulder. Reaching up, he scratches his chin and the cat lets out a purr.

“I’m not saying the oversight committee is suggesting these, I’m saying they are going to enforce these changes and no one has a say in it.” Rogers looks determined and surefooted.

A microphone gets shoved in his face. “What are you concerns, Captain? It seems that they just think the Avengers need oversight.”

“The problem is, we don’t have a choice. If we don’t sign they will arrest us and detain us until we do. And god knows what they’ll do to us when they have us.” He sighs. “And it isn’t just that, but this will require the Sovereign Nation of Wakanda to open their boarder so that the committee can go in and strip their country of its natural resources. No one has the right to tell another country what they must do. That isn’t what I’ve been fighting for and Wakanda isn’t an enemy, they are a peaceful society with the right to maintain their sovereign borders. This document is going to turn this country into an authoritarian regime.” 

The interview goes on from there, but Bucky stands, hands on his hips and goes to this desk. He pulls the printed email out of his briefcase, rereading it. Bucky has no doubt who this email is from now. It can’t be a coincidence that he gets this document, then Steve Rogers does that on TV. He’s not sure what Captain Rogers is up to, but there has to be a reason he chose to open this can of worms in the way that he has. By lunch, reporters will be hounding every member of the committee and descend on Washington like locusts. Opening his email, he types in the ridiculous account that came to him yesterday.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Re: Professional Opinion_

_IceIceBaby18,_

_I’ve read this through and seen the interview with Captain Rogers. I believe we have things to talk through, but I’m assuming you can’t meet me. So, we’re going to communicate this way and you tell me if I’m hitting on the issues you have with this document._

_After reading it through there are many ethical issues that I see, granted I’ve only read it through once and it was rushed, so bear with me. First, this puts control of a group of enhanced individuals into the hands of people with a political agenda. We’ve seen in the past how that works out, ex: Nazi Germany. Second, it forces a nation, not under the control of our government, to allow strip mining and control over assets to that oversight committee. Third, it strips enhanced individuals of their rights as citizens if they refuse to sign. Keeping anyone detained for undetermined amounts of time is no better than what we did to the Japanese Americans during WWII and what the Germans did to anyone they deemed unfit during Hitler’s Reign of Terror._

_My professional opinion is that for this to be ‘valid’ this committee must already have judges and courts under their thumb or someone would be able to fight this. If that is the case, then my only option is that they have a more far-reaching control than anyone knows. That makes all of this very dangerous and I would also like to know who is pulling all these strings and how did they get into their position of power because I gotta tell ya, this is some scary shit. And yes, that’s my professional opinion._

_Touch back with me. I’m worried for your safety if someone finds out you sent this to me._

_Dr. James Barnes (call me Bucky, we’re kinda in this together now)_

Bucky closes the window and takes a deep breath. He tried to word the email so that Captain Rogers doesn’t know for sure if Bucky knows it’s him, but it’s the only explanation. His door buzzer sounds and Bucky immediately tenses up. Going over, he presses it. “Yeah?”

“Hey man, it’s me. Let me up.” Taking a deep breath, Bucky goes to the living room and puts the document and email back in his briefcase, then hits the buzzer, unlocks the door and heads into the bedroom to put on clothes. Sam comes in a few minutes later with coffee and breakfast. “Did you see that shit?” Alpine weaves around Sam’s legs, making him trip. “I swear to god this cat is trying to kill me.

Bucky comes out in jeans and a button up, chuckling. “You know that’s how Alpine shows love.”

Sam ignores the cat comment and looks seriously at his friend. “What do think Cap was talking about?” Bucky gives a non-committal shrug and takes the food.

“I have no idea.” Bucky doesn’t look up and takes the lid off the coffee and takes a sip. “Have you heard anything about a document coming out of Washington?”

Sam seems to be watching him in a way that Bucky isn’t used to. “Why would I know anything about this?”

Bucky tries to look surprised. “I know you still have connections down there. I just thought you might know what this is about.”

“I have no fucking clue, but if Captain America is going to put himself out there like this, it must be pretty damn serious.” Bucky nods along while chewing then gives Sam an easy grin. Sam still seems to be looking at him funny and Bucky’s inner voice tells him it’s a damn good thing he isn’t a spy because he’d really suck at hiding stuff and Sam would be able to sniff him out in seconds.

When they get to the office, Darcy is waiting to see them. She’s Bucky’s assistant, but also a computer genius that keeps him from accidentally deleting things that he shouldn’t, like student papers. When Sam leaves for his own office, Bucky shuts the door and turns to his semi-friend. She looks over her glasses at him, smirking. “If I asked you to do something for me, would you do it and not ask questions?”

She chuckles. “I will not get you drugs or women.”

Bucky nearly falls on his ass while trying to sit from the laughter that statement causes. “Fair enough, but I don’t do drugs and I don’t like women…like that.” She’s smirking again and Bucky can’t help the rush of affection for this young woman that has her life together in a way that Bucky would like to have, but sadly doesn’t most days.

“I got an email yesterday and I deleted it, but I want to make sure that it’s really deleted. Can you do that?” He looks up hopeful.

She cracks her knuckles and shoos him out of his own chair. “Let the master work. Who’s the sender?” When he tells her, she cackles again. “That deserves to be deleted permanently.” He chuckles. His screen goes black and she starts typing in code. It’s possible she’s more of a computer prodigy than a genius. The screen blinks and then his screen saver comes up. “Done.” Getting up, she heads out, but pauses at the door. “Oh, and any future emails from that account, that come through the server will disappear after you’ve read them. You’re going to tell me all about this someday?” Bucky doesn’t looks up, but nods.

Bucky sits, looking down at his briefcase. He needs to go through the document again, but can’t afford to have it out where someone might see it. He’s also just starting to realize how tired he is from lack of sleep. After this class, he’s going to lie down and sleep on the lumpy sofa in his office. Then, he’s going to call out for dinner and read it again with the door locked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Wanda

Steve and Wanda sit in a little pub not far from his apartment. Through the course of the day they have both kept up with the news. Just like Steve suspected after his little interview, Washington is overrun with press asking questions. It’s become so bad in the last 10 hours that the offices of the committee have been restricted and with all the questions being asked, they’ve had to stop their push for enhanced individual’s immediate signatures. So, for now, everything is on hold, but in a few days, the target will be on Steve’s back even more than it was before. And now, he has Wanda to think about.

He likes this bar because it’s dark and quiet and the man behind the bar likes Steve, not Captain America, but Steve. Jack is a veteran and respects that Steve is too. They talked about coming home and how things feel different. Jack mentioned his mattress once and he and Steve laughed over that. He’s a good guy and watches Steve’s back when he comes in. 

Wanda gets Steve’s drink from the bar while Steve sets up the disruptor on the table. If there are bugs here, they won’t be able to pick up what the two are talking about. She slides into the other side of the booth, pushing his beer over to him.

“The bartender wanted to know if you need cover.” Steve looks over at Jack and nods. Jack looks over at the door and nods to his bouncer. If any one of the suits following them tries to get in, Jack will make sure that doesn’t happen. “You have good friends.”

“I thought I did.” All of this feels like his world is starting to fall apart. When he came out of the ice, he didn’t really think of it as falling apart, he was too overwhelmed with the newness of it all. But this feels like he’s about to lose everything. “Wanda, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but when the time comes, you have to do exactly what I tell you.”

Reaching across the table, Wanda takes his hand. “You have always guided me well and in this I think we agree, signing this means becoming a slave to whatever they decide we need to do. There’s nothing about it that sits well with me.” He squeezes her hand. “Whatever you tell me to do, I will do.”

“Even if it looks like I may be captured, you still do exactly what I say.” She nods reluctantly. “Good. When the time comes, I have to talk to Tony. I have to figure out why he’s going along with this. I’m going to find someplace safe for you to hide.”

“I don’t think you will get the answer you want from Tony.” Wanda looks over as the door opens and a tall African-American woman walks in, carrying herself with a dignified grace. “I don’t know what his reasons are, but…” Wanda watches the woman while talking to Steve. The woman is standing at the door, looking around like she’s meeting someone.

Wanda stops speaking when the woman comes to their table. Jack looks over and Steve holds up his hand to stop him from interfering. “Captain Rogers, we should talk.” She’s very matter of fact and Steve watches the way her eyes take in everything around her.

“Ma’am, I don’t know who you are, but if you’re a reporter, we have nothing else to talk about.” She smirks and Wanda allows red mist to swirl around her hands. The woman is neither surprised nor frightened by what she’s seeing.

“You will have no need of that, young one. I am here because King T’Challa would like to talk to you.” Steve looks up and casually around. He would like to think that if the King walked in, Steve would have noticed. “He is not here. He is unable to leave Wakanda at this time, for obvious reasons, but we have a secure channel and location ready.”

Wanda watches Steve and knows that this isn’t part of his plan, but if they gain an ally, it’s better for them both. Steve nods and they follow her out. On the street, Steve looks around for the agents. For the first time since last week, he doesn’t see them. Wanda follows his eye line. “Where are they?”

The woman chuckles. “They received a dispatch that the two of you snuck out the back and were seen two streets over.” This woman not only has training, but it’s enough to infiltrate the agent’s com system and send them on a wild goose chase. A black SUV pulls to the curb and Steve only hesitates for a second before ushering Wanda into the back seat. It’s reinforced, but nothing that Steve can’t get out of if they need to.

They end up at The Peninsula and Steve might not know much about the expensive lifestyle that Tony lives, but he knows this place isn’t cheap. They follow her into the lift and are taken to one of the suites on the upper levels. Steve isn’t impressed by much because material things aren’t his focus, but he does like what he sees. It’s huge, but the warm colors and comfortable furniture are what draw him in. They are led into, what appears to be, a conference room. The woman presses a button on the tablet in her hand and the screen on the far wall lights up. King T’Challa comes on screen. The woman folds her arms over her chest, fist to shoulders, and bows. The King returns the gesture and smiles gently. “Nakia, all is well?”

She motions to Steve and Wanda. “They will need passage and a safe place.”

“Captain Rogers, it is a pleasure. You did my country a great honor this morning when you defended us against these Accords.” The man can’t be more than 28 or 29, but he has a calm wisdom about him that Steve respects.

“I just said what was right and I think it’s gotten me into a little trouble, Your Majesty.” T’Challa smiles.

“But it was a good distraction and has bought you time you did not have before, Captain.” Yeah, this guy is definitely quick in assessing situations.

“Please call me Steve and this is Wanda.” Wanda gives a wave and the king nods, still smiling.

“And you will call me T’Challa. In Wakanda we do not stand on formalities.” Nakia points at the chairs and everyone sits. “Now Ca…Steve, I would like to offer you and Miss Maximoff sanctuary in my country, since I assume you will not be signing these Accords.”

“You assume correctly, but won’t that put your country as risk?” Wakanda is a Sovereign Nation, but it is also a poor nation that, according to reports, doesn’t have the technology to mine the vibranium that is so abundant.

T’Challa laughs and Steve get the distinct impression that there’s something he doesn’t know. “I assure you Steve, Wakanda has nothing to fear from any country.” There’s definitely something Steve doesn’t know. Nakia speaks to T’Challa in a language that Steve doesn’t recognize and then she turns to the pair. Wanda seems awed by everything that’s happening.

“T’Challa is going to arrange for safe passage for both of you into Wankanda. You will be in my country before anyone realizes that you have left.” Wanda looks hopeful at Steve. He lowers his head, taking a deep breath.

“I have something I need to do first, but I need you to get Wanda out of here as soon as possible.” Nakia looks at the screen and says something else to the King. The King nods and responds, all while looking at Steve. This man knows that whatever Steve is planning, it’s going to put him in danger. The super soldier wonders what it is in T’Challa’s past that allows him to perceive Steve’s dilemma. 

“Steve, one of the other guards will bring Miss Maximoff to me, but Nakia will stay to make sure you get out as well. Does this meet with your approval?” Steve has no idea how to make this man understand how much his assistance means, so he offers the only thing he can.

“I will be in your debt, You Majesty.” It is clear that T’Challa didn’t expect this pledge and the two men lock eyes. T’Challa nods and Steve returns the gesture.

T’Challa says one more thing to Nakia and she looks bashful, but says the same thing back. Turning to the other two, she clears her throat. “Miss Maximoff we will fly you out within the hour.”

Steve takes Wanda’s hand. “Are you okay with this?”

“I would feel better about it if we were going together, but I’ll be waiting for you in Wakanda. If you’re late, I will be very upset.” Steve pulls her into his arms, hugging her. Wanda is introduced to the guard that will be her pilot and Steve is given a bracelet.

He puts the bracelet on. “Now, wave your hand over this bead.” She points at one in particular that seems to have an eye in it. The bead comes to life and a hologram appears above Steve’s wrist with floating coordinates. Wanda sucks in a breath. “When you have done what you need to do, you will do the same thing and I will be there to get you. Do you understand, Captain?”

Steve nods with a grin on his face. “I thought I told your husband to call me Steve. It applies to you too.”

Nakia returns his grin. “He is not my husband…yet…he is my soul mate.” She draws her sleeve up and shows Steve and Wanda the Black Panther on her forearm. “He is much less agreeable to the fish on his arm, but,” She shrugs and smiles mischievously, “He is mine and I am his.” 

Steve heads to the Compound upstate. A mile outside the gate he pulls over to check his phone and reads the email from Dr. Barnes. Taking a deep breath, after reading it, he knows that the man is watching his words. If anyone finds out that Steve sent him that document, it could go very bad for the man. He also notices that Dr. Barnes seems to think that the person that sent him the document and Steve Rogers are not the same. Or he figured it out and is doing that on purpose. 

Clicking the reply, Steve starts typing. When he’s satisfied, he clicks send and goes to finish what he’s started. He’s buzzed into the Compound and pulls around to park. Tony comes out to meet him. “At least you came to your senses and have come to sign this thing.”

“I’m not going to sign Tony and I came here to find out why you are.”

**_Before Steve Arrives_ **

Natasha enters Tony’s office, flopping into a chair as he ignores her presence. The holographic screen displays the document sent to them last week. Tony just keeps going through it and never finding whatever it is that he’s looking for. Nat pops a bubble with the gum she’s chewing. “There’s something we’re not seeing, if you ask me, which you haven’t.”

“I haven’t because you’ll try to make some excuse for him and nothing that’s happened has a good explanation.” Tony doesn’t turn, doesn’t want her getting into his head like she always does.

“You’re the one that said he couldn’t lie worth shit and yet he got on TV this morning and did just that.” She pauses for effect. “Unless he wasn’t and he knows something we don’t.”

“Cap can’t lie worth shit and you know it. He’s our muscle, beside Hulk and Thor.” Tony turns, smirking. “Come to think of it, we have Thor and a Hulk, what do we have Cap for?”

She knows that he’s only half joking. “We have him for his military, tactical genius.”

“And yet, we still aren’t soldiers, so what’s the point.” She huffs and Tony turns back to the screen. “We aren’t being told everything, that’s a given.” Natasha hums and he keeps going. “But nothing he said this morning is in here, so what does he know that we don’t?”

“He knows, like we do, that this is a mistake, but instead of telling him what we’re doing, you’ve decided to leave him out of the loop.” He turns again and she watches him intently.

“You said yourself that he can’t do stealth and he can’t lie, so that left us with the idea that he’d just follow our lead and do what we told him to do. How’s that working out?” He sits down behind his desk, watching her.

“I’ll admit, I misjudged that a little, but who knew that he was going to get all conscientious with all of this.” Tony snorts and goes to get a drink. “But it’s your fault the kid ran.”

“I told everyone to keep her here until this was over and we could get her to agree to sign. Who knew that she was that smart?” Nat raises her hand and Tony throws an ice cube at her.

“We’re going to have to bring them both in and find a way to keep them contained until we can figure out what all this is.” He nods, but has no idea how they are going to pull that off. “This would be a lot easier if we didn’t have to treat him like a child.”

“He’s a soldier, Nat, he’ll never be anything but a soldier. We need to just give him an order and he’ll follow it.” She rolls her eyes and Tony plops down in his chair again.

“I’m sure that Cap is just waiting for someone to tell him what to do.” Nat sits up and stares at the man. “He literally doesn’t have anything outside the fight. Once we explain that this is his only way to have what makes him happy, he’ll do what we tell him to.” 

‘Boss, Captain Rogers is about a mile out from the Compound.’

Tony grins at Natasha. “Tell the others that I’ll handle this. He’s come running home because he needs what we can give him.”

She follows him out of the office. “What’s that?”

“Structure and a good fight.”


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky has read this document three times since receiving it and still can’t believe what’s on the page. This thing makes his skin crawl in ways that he didn’t think he’d ever come across. There’s unethical behavior, but this is a whole other level. Granted, he understands that since the Avengers were formed, there has been an upsurge in enhanced individuals with heinous intentions, but this doesn’t solve that problem. This only adds a level of paranoia that is unacceptable. If the government wants the good guys to suddenly turn bad, this document opens the door to that. 

He has no classes today, so he sits down to write up another response to his ‘mystery’ person only to find a new email from him. If only he could come out and say, ‘hey Cap, I know this is you,’ but he also knows he needs to adhere to a certain level of anonymity until the Captain is willing to let him in. Picking up the little furball at his feet, he places Alpine in his lap to sooth his frayed nerves. He runs his hands through his hair for the hundredth time today and starts reading.

_From:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_To:_ [ _DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Re: Re: Professional Opinion_

_Dr. Barnes,_

_Thank you for confirming my feelings about this document and for being willing to add your thoughts. Over the next few days I fear that my safety will be as risk. If possible when I’m someplace safe, I will let you know. I don’t know where you have the document stored, but I would recommend putting it somewhere for safe keeping or destroying it entirely._

_Stay safe Dr. Barnes,_

_Your Friend in Conspiracy_

Leaning back in his chair, Bucky drags his hands down his face. He doesn’t come right out and say it, but the second sentence leads Bucky to think that something is about to happen. Alpine looks up from Bucky’s lap, blinking slowly. “Man, I wish you could give me some sage advice.” All he gets in return is a squeak. He’d really like to text Sam and ask him what he thinks all this means, but he’s not going to do that. Steve Rogers entrusted him with this when he could have gone to anyone else. He leans back, resting his head on the chair back and spinning in a couple of circles. Alpine hates when he does this, but it’s his way of letting his mind go and center himself. It’s not like the rotten beast jumps down, he just digs his claws in and hangs on. Okay, he’s ready. He doesn’t hit reply, but composes a new email.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Concern_

_IceIceBaby18,_

_Hey man, I’ve read this thing now three times and each time it’s worse than the time before. Whatever is happening, you gotta know that there are people out here that understand your concern. What I’m most worried about right now is how that last email sounded. Whatever you’re planning maybe it’s not a good idea. Maybe you need to take a step back and consider another direction._

_This is what I can tell you, certain members of the Avengers would be exempt from this document because of nationality. Meaning, if they don’t sign, they can return to their country of origin for safety, unless that country has signed the document. I don’t know the circumstances around Wakanda because I thought they were a poor nation with little technology so mining the vibranium was not possible, but after thinking about it, I think there’s more going on there._

_I noticed that Wanda Maximoff has been sighted with Captain Rogers, so I’m guessing she’s not signing either. I don’t know if you know either of them personally, but Sokovia is signing the agreement, so if she goes back to her home country, she would probably be detained. As for Captain Rogers, his case is much more complicated because he received the serum as part of a government project. This means that, mostly likely, they already think they have a claim to him. You gotta make sure, if you have the ability to get a message to him that he gets as far away from this mess as possible._

_Most importantly, you have to protect yourself. Man, I don’t know you, but you’re a good person or you wouldn’t have taken this chance by sending me this. Good people, truly good people, aren’t that easy to find these days. You’re one of them. Cover your tracks. Don’t trust anyone that suddenly wants to be your friend unless they have a damn good reason for helping you. Stay safe and email me back when you get to a place where you safely can._

_Take care,_

_Your friend_

_Bucky_

He hits send and goes to get more coffee. He needs to cover his tracks too because all of this could come back and bite him in the ass if he doesn’t. He doesn’t feel good about getting Darcy anymore involved, but he also knows she has connections outside of the university. She’s pretty vague about those connections, but they seem to be centered on technology. Sitting back down with his coffee, he grabs his phone. _‘I need your expert help.’_

_‘Hot damn! Where are you?’_ Bucky grins and takes a breath, Darcy is always up for screwing with people. This should be right up her alley. She’s a good person, but doesn’t take bullshit off of anyone. He does need to decide what he’s going to tell her about what he needs. He wouldn’t even ask accept she mentioned once, while they were having lunch and joking about him needing a new phone, that she had a great phone that ‘the man’ couldn’t trace and could get him one to replace his sad excuse of a cell phone.

_‘I’m at home.’_

_‘I’m on my way. Bringing food_. _’_

Bucky snorts into his cup. Getting up he grabs the document and heads into his bathroom. Opening the cabinet under the sink, he moves everything out of the way and pulls up the loose board. Placing the document inside the base of the cabinet, he replaces the board and all of the cleaning supplies. When he started having sex in high school, this was his go to hiding place for condoms and lube. His younger sister was a sneak and searched his room constantly for ammunition against him, so he had to take to hiding anything he didn’t want her to know about.

If he can help it, he’s not going to show Darcy what he received and he has to make sure she doesn’t read the emails he’s asking her to get rid of. He’ll tell her something, anything that will make this seem plausible. When he gets back to the kitchen, he picks up his phone, looking at the cracked screen. He’s had the same phone for going on four years. Maybe it’s as simple as that, maybe he just tells her that after all of her hounding, he wants that phone she was talking about. He wants a new phone and doesn’t want to pay the outrageous price at the store. Can he sell that story? He’s going to give it a shot. 

He snorts a laugh at his own idiocy and thinks about how Steve doesn’t have this. He doesn’t have anyone that he can depend on like Bucky does. That sobers him some.

He stops for a second, Steve does have someone, he has Bucky. It shouldn’t make Bucky feel like warmth grows in his chest. Steve’s faith in Bucky’s opinion shouldn’t make him feel like he’s special to the other man. He’s jolted out of his fuzzy thoughts when the buzzer sounds.

He puts his coffee mug in the dishwasher and goes to let Darcy in. “Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.” Bucky grins, letting her up.

Buzzing her in, he unlocks the door. Within a few minutes, they’re sitting at the dining table. Unpacking the food and more coffee, Bucky can feel Darcy’s eyes on him. She wants to ask, but is holding herself back. 

Bucky leans down, giving Alpine a piece of egg, while the humans sit silent for a couple of minutes. Bucky takes a deep breath. “First, Darce, I want to thank you for the help the other day and for not asking why I was asking you to do it. Second, I need you to do it again to my home computer. I’ve been sending some emails and I need them wiped out in a way that they’re really wiped out.” She nods in a ‘no problem’ kind of way. “Third, I need a way to keep sending and receiving emails that’s not traceable.”

She’s squinting at him. “Are you having an affair you don’t want anyone to know about?” She slaps his arm. “Is he married? Do I know him? Come on, spill it Barnes!”

And suddenly, Bucky has an out. She’s given him a way to get what he needs and not have to answer even more uncomfortable questions. Thinking about that, he almost loses his cool, if he actually had any cool, but holds back the laugh and looks at the table. There’s no way he could pull that lie off. “It’s nothing like that.”

She smacks him again. “You are! Oh my god! You are sleeping with someone famous aren’t you? Tell me!”

He keeps his face down, but chuckles. Is this really what she thinks? How off base could someone, that spends so much time with him during the day, be? Bucky is a firm believer that someday he will meet his soul mate and having an affair with someone that’s already attached goes against everything he wants. “Darcy, seriously, it isn’t anything like that. I’m…it’s…”

“I am so getting this phone for you if only to find out what this is all about. You did promise me in your office that someday you would tell me, yes?” Bucky looks up nodding and reaches out to take her hand. Only a really good friend would do something like this for him and not ask for an immediate explanation.

Bucky gives a half-hearted shrug. “Thank you and I really mean it. Thank you.”

She just grins. “It just better be a hell of a story.”

“But listen, you can’t tell Sam. He’s my best friend and I’ll fill him in at some point, but he’s kinda a stickler for following the rules.” Darcy giggles uncontrollably and pulls out her phone, shooting off a text. When it dings with a response, she grins down. “So, my contact has a phone, untraceable, that I can pick up in about an hour.”

Bucky scrutinizes her. “Who are you?” He means it as a joke, but there’s a lot about her life that he doesn’t know because she’s always asking him questions and being vague when he asks her. She doesn’t like to talk about her past, so he assumes that it’s not a pleasant story. Bucky can respect that.

Darcy cackles at that. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Getting up, she heads to the door. “I’ll be back and when I come back we’ll take care of the computer.”

Good as her word, Darcy is back a couple hours later with a pretty advanced phone. Something Bucky couldn’t afford without taking out a loan. “Seriously, who are you because I’m getting the feeling that you aren’t just an assistant.”

She barks a laugh as Bucky looks over the phone. “Let’s just say that I have a little side business that involves what I’m about to help you do.” He crosses his arms over his chest and she cocks an eyebrow at him. “What do I look like, an amateur?” Holding up her finger. “Don’t answer that.” Bucky’s guilt is starting to get to him. He isn’t the kind of person that needs an untraceable phone. He isn’t the kind of person that needs his email scrubbed. He is; however, the kind of person that might put himself on the line for someone like Steve Rogers. Swallowing his uneasy feelings, he tells himself ‘you’re doing this for Steve.’

“How much do I owe you?” She’s shaking her head. “I can’t take this for nothing. This is a top of the line phone.”

Darcy motions to the living room and Bucky takes a seat on the sofa. “I’m not going to charge you for that because you didn’t have to hire me. You had applicants much more qualified than me, but you hired me. This is the least I can do to help you out. I really can’t thank you enough for the chance you gave me. Please let me do this for you.”

Bucky just nods because he does need this phone and someday he may tell her the truth, but for today he’s going to allow himself to be a hypocrite for doing something as unethical and lying to a friend. She pats his shoulder and heads over to the computer. “Now let’s get this guy, who has a truly horrible email account name, off of this computer too.” He’s already logged in, so she starts typing. Bucky gets up and goes over to stand behind her. 

Within minutes she looks up smiling. “Is it done?”

She nods enthusiastically. “Same thing as at work. After you read it and closed it, it will wipe automatically, but I added a little plus.” She stands and grabs the phone. “Now this on the other hand, it won’t wipe from here, but if you let me set it up, once you read the email, it will transfer it into another account. Do you have another email?” He nods, giving her the address. She snickers at the name, but sets it up anyway. She goes back to the computer and does something else. Then she has him login to his private email on the phone. “Now, when you open it there,” She points at his computer, “and close it, it will transfer here, and then wipe from the computer.” She doesn’t stay much longer and Bucky needs some air. He pulls on his jacket, picks up Alpine, who squeaks at him, puts the cat inside his jacket and zips it up. He’s just going to the coffee shop down the block and they’ve always let him bring Alpine in. The sun is shining, even with the chill in the air and Bucky smiles. Not only can he keep emailing Steve, but he can keep those emails private. Walking into the café, Angie looks up, squeals and runs to pet Alpine, who basks in the praise.


	5. Chapter 5

“You’ve created a situation, Cap.” Steve can see the nanotech bracelets on Tony’s wrists, so he knows the man is armed. Pulling the shield from the side of the bike, Steve does the same. Stepping around the bike, he leaves the shield hanging at his side. He doesn’t want this to happen, but he knows how it needs to look.

“I didn’t create this situation, Tony. You and the Accords did.” Tony circles around as though he’s checking out Steve’s bike, but the super soldier knows he’s trying to gain the upper ground. Tony isn’t usually the type to shoot someone in the back, but this isn’t a usual situation. This is a situation that Steve doesn’t want to be in, but he needs to see if he can get the man to talk. “Why are you doing this? What’s in this for you?”

“Do you really think this is about what I’m getting out of it?” Tony taps the side of his glasses, so he’s either checking Steve’s bike for something or he’s giving instructions for something. Most likely, he’s adding a tracker to the bike, but that doesn’t matter because that bike isn’t how Steve is leaving the Compound.

“It’s got to be. I can’t think of another reason why you’d sign this.” Tony starts walking again and Steve puts the shield up in front of his chest when he sees the gauntlets start to cover Tony’s hands and forearms.

“What’s the matter, Cap? Don’t trust me?” Tony’s too relaxed, too confident and Steve is on edge.

Under the guise of trying to show trust, Steve turns his back to Tony and looks up at the sky, but what he’s really doing is checking his surroundings. Lowering his head after he takes in the agents on the roof and at the edge of the buildings, he turns back around, head lowered. They’re all armed, so the plan here is to take Cap one way or another. Tony must be their first line which plays right into what Steve needs. “I don’t trust this situation and I think you know that.” Steve throws the shield and knocks one of the agents off the roof. The shield comes back and Steve secures it to his arm. “What’s the matter, Tony? Don’t _you_ trust _me_?” Steve turns back around to face his friend.

“Not even a little bit.” The bracelets bleed out the nanites and within seconds, Tony’s encased in Iron Man armor. He fires the repulsor, but Steve blocks it. The agents don’t join in the fight, Steve notices, so Tony is planning to take Steve himself. That’s good because Steve knows he can take Tony, but it’s going to mean that this gets ugly. “You need to fall in line, Cap. Just do what we tell you to. You follow orders, right Cap?” The words his Steve like a sledgehammer. That’s all he is to them. He’s just a soldier without a mind of his own. A soldier that just does what they’re told. A soldier and not family.

Steve allows Tony to get in a few hits, just to see to what degree he’s really using all of his resources. After the third hit, when Tony is getting cocky, Steve realizes that the man isn’t pulling his punches. It appears that Steve is and that’s just the way super soldier wants it. He needs Tony to think, at least right now, that he doesn’t want to hurt him. And truthfully, Steve really doesn’t. 

He can almost feel his eyes getting misty because this is the most difficult thing he’s done since waking up. He thought they’d built something special, but the others just wanted his brute strength, not who he really is. Steve throws the shield and nicks the arch reactor. It goes downhill from there because Tony is well and truly pissed off at Steve now. He lets Iron Man get in one more shot, then lets lose. Using the shield, Steve aims for the joints of the armor and the arch reactor again.

Tony fires again and knocks the shield a few feet away. Steve leaps, doing a barrel roll to retrieve it, crouching behind it as another blast volleys past. “You have to know this isn’t going to end well.”

“It doesn’t have to end well, it just has to end, Cap.” Tony turns to take off for a higher vantage point and Steve leaps onto his back, forearm around Iron Man’s neck. He was expecting this. In fights, Tony always goes for the sky. “If you sign, all this goes away.” Tony wiggles and squirms to get Steve off of him, not even thinking about the altitude. 

“My friends turning on me will never go away.” Iron Man does a roll in the sky and Steve pushes off, causing Tony to freefall until he gets is bearings. In the darkness they will assume that he’s landed somewhere, at least that’s what Steve hopes happens. He lets go of the shield and waves his hand over the bead. The shield hits the ground, but Steve never does. When he vaulted himself off of the Iron Man suit, contacted Nakia, she positioned the stealth jet so that Steve would fall in. Under the cover of darkness, no one can see what really happens.

“Where is he? Someone get eyes on where Cap went! Now!” Tony lands near the shield, going to pick it up, he looks around, expecting an attack.

“Sir, there’s no trace of Captain Rogers anywhere. He’s not on the Compound property.”

Tony throws the shield, embedding it in a nearby tree. “SON OF A BITCH! Check the woods. He’s got to be here somewhere!”

Nakia looks over her shoulder at Steve, who’s trying to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Of course. They never even knew that I was there. Stark has advanced technology, but nothing like ours.” Steve comes over, looking over the controls of the aircraft. Yeah, Wakanda isn’t what anyone thinks because this thing isn’t like anything he’s ever seen and that includes the tech that Tony has. This is generations ahead of anything Tony could think up.

“Your tech people must be something else.” Nakia giggles, pleased.

“My tech person is 16 years old and the second in line for the throne of Wakanda. Her name is Shuri.” Steve is shocked. Everything that he’s seen so far leads him to believe that he and Wanda are going to be safe from whatever this situation will become. “You should relax. We will be home soon.”

Home…It’s like a knife to Steve’s heart.

Steve used to think he knew what that word meant. Sitting heavily in a seat in the back, he puts his head in his hands and lets himself think about what just happened. It’s easy to shut that part of his brain down in a fight because he has to. The reality of it all comes crashing down on him. The way that Tony was fighting, he was okay with causing Steve serious injury, unconcerned because the soldier would eventually heal. Unlike coming out of the ice, this isn’t overwhelming, this is damaging. Putting his head in his hands, Steve’s shoulders start to shake with his sobs and the knowledge that he doesn’t have a home anymore. Contrary to what Nakia said, that’s not something Steve has. 

He’s in the throes of his heartbreak when the burning starts. Crying out, Nakia jumps, coming to him. Steve grabs his forearm, screaming into the small aircraft. If this same thing hadn’t happened to Nakia, once upon a time, she wouldn’t understand, but it did, so she does. “Steve, Steve, look at me.”

He looks up, tears on his cheeks. “Wha…”

Hands on either side of his face, she forces him to look at her. “You must not fight this. The trauma of losing your family was the catalyst. You must let this take form.” Pulling his hand away from his arm, Steve watches the mark burn into his skin. It’s a raised and blistered mess. “In a few days you will be able to see it clearer. For now, you must endure.”

It feels like it takes hours, but Steve isn’t really sure how long it takes, it finally seems to stop, but the pain of the burn lingers. Nakia gets up, grabbing a med-kit. “You went through this?”

“How do you think T’Challa and I got our marks? This is the way of things.” She carefully cleans the burn, but like she said, Steve can’t really tell what it is. “In a few days, we will remove the bandage and you will see what is important to your soul mate.” She secures the bandage, hesitating and then looks up with determination. “What you must know, what is not talked about, is that when it is revealed, it will not have eyes. That frightens some people, but it is normal.”

“Wh-what d-do you m-mean?” Steve sobs again, but it isn’t the burn so much as the loss of everything he’s grown to care about.

“Soul marks give you a picture of something important to your other.” Steve nods, that he knows. “But until you meet your soul mate, the picture will not have eyes.” She sits next to Steve, holding his hand. “You see, most of the time, soul mates suffer the same trauma, yes?” Steve nods. “But sometimes, they do not and that means that you have not met them yet.” Steve looks up confused. “You know you have not met your soul mate because it cannot be me. So, when we uncover the burn in a few days, if there are no eyes, then you have not met them. If there are, then you have.”

“Why the eyes?” Nakia pats his hand, chuckling and going back to the pilot seat.

“Have you not heard that eyes are the window to the soul?” Steve chuckles and nods. “The mark does not gain the eyes until you meet the eyes of the one that you will stare at for all the days of your life.”

So, Steve has lost his home and found family, but he’s gained something he never thought would be possible. As the sun rises, casting a golden glow into the ship, a voice comes over the communications link. They speak in Nakia’s native language. Bringing up the holographic map, Nakia inputs the coordinates. The ship alters course and Steve stands behind her looking at the lush green of the Wakandan jungle. They seem to be headed straight at the treetops, but Steve trusts that she knows what she’s doing. 

When they break through some kind of barrier, Steve loses his breath. They definitely had no idea what was really going on inside of Wakanda. “It is the Golden City.” Nakia looks up. “Welcome to Wakanda.” 

There are guards lining the platform they land on and the man Steve knows is King T’Challa stands tall and regal. With him is a young girl and Steve wonders if she’s the tech genius. Beside her is a woman that Steve knows, without being introduced, is royal. Her bearing is tall, confident, strong, and kind. On the other side of her is Wanda, dressed in robes of luxurious color, with a smile so great her face doesn’t contain it. When his feet hit the landing pad, she’s running to him, throwing herself into his arms. “This is not what we thought.”

Steve holds on to her because she’s the only family he has left. “No, it’s not.” Pulling away, he cups her face, pushing her hair back. “Are you okay?”

Nodding emphatically, she’s crying. “I’m so glad to see you. Nakia sent word what happened at the Compound. I can’t believe he attacked you.” He shushes her quietly. Steve doesn’t want her thinking about that. He wants her to think about the fact that they still have each other.

Leaning in, he rests his forehead to hers, both sets of eyes closed. “We still have each other and that’s going to have to be enough.”

She glances at his arm. “Steve?” Taking it, she gently runs her fingers over the bandage, looking up for an explanation, but he doesn’t give her one. He can’t, not now, not yet. Right now, he can’t even really think about what it mean.

T’Challa allows them a moment then comes forward. “Captain, welcome to Wakanda.”

Taking the man’s hand, Steve tries to convey his thanks. “I can’t tell you how much it means to us that you’d allow this. I get the feeling that outsiders aren’t really something you...”

The woman, dressed in gold, with that kind smile speaks. “You stopped being an outsider when you came to the defense of our country.” Offering her hand, Steve takes it with reverence. “I am Ramonda, mother to the King.” She indicates the young girl. “And this is my daughter, Shuri.” Steve gives a slight bow to the Princess.

“Your Highness.” That sends the young girl into a fit of giggles and Wanda joins in. Steve gets the impression that in just the half day that she’s been here, Wanda’s made a friend.

“You will not call me that again, Steven. I am a scientist first and princess is a useless title.” Ramonda clears her throat.

“We have prepared rooms for you.” Steve turns back to T’Challa. “Wanda can show you where they are. I would stay, but I must attend to a council meeting.”

Nakia comes forward again. Steve looks around, confused and a little lost. “All you need to know is this, the King has given you sanctuary and no one in this country will begrudge you that. Everyone here from the King to the market merchant knows how you stood for our right to remain independent.”

She walks with them into the palace. “I don’t understand why Wakanda was so prominent in the Accords. No one on the outside knows about any of this. How can they enforce what they want without one of your people being enhanced?” Steve’s thought about that before, but until now he didn’t really have anyone to ask.

Wanda takes his arm, linking hers through his elbow. “Well, it seems there is a legend here about a protector.” Nakia grins at her and Wanda continues. “He is called Black Panther and recently he was seen outside the borders of Wakanda when he went after some human traffickers. The committee is using that and calling him an enhanced, meaning he should come forward and sign. If he does, then Wakanda is bound by the laws of the Accords to open its borders.”

“Why haven’t I heard about this Black Panther?” It all clicks in those few seconds and his head whips around to Nakia. “T’Challa!”

Nakia and Wanda giggle. “It took you less time than I thought it would. Yes, every king of Wakanda is the Black Panther, protector of this country.” She waves around her. “Everything you see from the palace, to our clothing, to the huts in the villages are made from vibranium, Steve. Everything here is made from it. All of the technology. The reserve of vibranium under our country is unlimited. We cannot let outsiders in. Do you understand why?”

They stop in front of a door. Steve reaches out, touching it and feels the power in something as simple as a door. “Yes, I do understand. If I can help protect this place, I offer my services.” The idea that Wakanda has not only found a way to mine the vibranium, but to use it so effectively is mindboggling. 

Wanda and Steve have a quiet dinner in their rooms that night. He fills her in on what happened at the Compound because she’s deserves to know. She yells about it, then cries about it. Steve lets her cry in his arms, but looks down at the bandage on his arm. He doesn’t know if gaining this mark is actually a good thing. He’s a man without a country now. He has nothing to offer anyone.

The rooms they’ve been given are connected by a door, so neither is too far from the other. Lying in bed late in the night, Steve stares at the ceiling. The door between the rooms is open and he can hear Wanda softly snoring. He smiles, but he knows he isn’t going to sleep, so he gets up, securing the robe around him. He has no belongings, so he’s been provided with everything he needs. Wanda told him they have access to this entire area, that it’s like their own apartment, and showed him where the kitchen and common room are located. Stepping into the kitchen, he isn’t expecting to see Shuri going through the freezer.

He clears his throat and she spins around, spoon hanging out of her mouth and a pint of ice cream in her hand. “Ah, Steven, you have caught me stealing your food.” He can’t help smiling because she’s so young and digging through the freezer for ice cream, at 2:30 in the morning, is a very teenager thing to do.

“Since you provided it, I would say you’re allowed.” She grins even bigger and grabs the strawberry ice cream, handing it over. Getting a spoon from the drawer, she hands him that too and indicates the sofa in the living room. Shuri bounces onto the cushions, acting all of the 16 years that she is.

“You do make a very good point.” They sit and Steve digs into the ice cream. “We wanted you to have some things that you were accustomed to and Wanda told us of your love for strawberry ice cream.”

“Thank you.” He knows that she’s here for a reason, he just needs to wait it out. They eat in silence for several minutes, but her eyes never leave him. She’s assessing him, but unlike Tony and the others, her assessing is different, like she’s trying to really see him.

“Steven, why did you do what you did for my country?” So, that’s what this is. She was sent to interrogate him. Maybe what’s happened over the last week has made him cynical and he shouldn’t think that about this young woman, but right now, he’s got to protect himself and Wanda.

Sighing, he looks around the room. “Because it was the right thing to do. Because I don’t like bullies and that’s all the Accords amount to.”

She’s grinning at him, delighted. “You know, I have been studying Wanda.” Steve’s head shoots up. “Oh no, not like that. She willingly let me run scans as she used her power. It is fascinating and awe-inspiring. She’s an amazing woman.” The admiration is evident in her voice. Wanda isn’t a test subject to you, she’s a person that happens to contain a power that is remarkable.

Steve nods. “I think so too.” She keeps looking at his arm. He knows that Shuri is aware that his comment isn’t about Wanda’s power. For someone so young, she’s wise beyond her years. “Ask what you want to know. I don’t have anything to hide from the people that gave us a safe place to live.”

Cocking her head to the side, she scrutinizes him. Then, very quietly, like she understands his pain, “Steven, this is not just a place to live for you and Wanda. This is your home now. Whatever you called home before is gone, but we will help you build that here.” Steve’s eyes get misty because for the first time it isn’t just building a family without acknowledging it, like the Avengers, someone is offering freely. “Now, tell me about the mark!” She giggles and bounces up and down on the sofa, very much acting her age again.

“I don’t know. I had this moment on the jet and then this happened.” He points at the bandage. Since her brother has his, Steve assumes she knows why it happens, so he doesn’t go into that part. He also doesn’t go into to specifics because it’s all too raw right now.

“I cannot wait to see what it is! T’Challa is still upset that he got a fish, but when your soul mate is of the River Tribe, there aren’t many options.” The fit of laughter that overtakes her is contagious and Steve joins in. “But, he has always loved Nakia and she him, but until my father…before he passed into the Ancestral Plane, we had not known trauma.” She holds her up arm and there is a small animal that Steve’s never seen before, but what makes it interesting is just what Nakia said. It has no eyes.

“What kind of animal is that?” He starts to reach over, but stops himself.

Taking his hand, Shuri puts it on her arm. The skin is smooth and not what Steve was expecting. He expected it to feel raised, like a scar. “It is an Elephant Shrew. It was endangered for a time, but we have been working to help them repopulate. They are soft little creatures and we have many that live on the grounds of the palace.” She looks at him in a conspiring way. “Do not tell my brother, but I have many that are like pets. If you are in my lab and something scampers by your feet, do not be alarmed.” They laugh together again.

“So, when mine heals, the skin will be smooth.” She nods taking another bite. Steve’s not sure how he feels about the mark. He’s not sure he can really think about it right now.

“Many people think that it will be like a scar because of the burn, but once fully healed, it is like it is part of the skin itself, which it is. It is part of who you are.” They talk for a while longer, but she heads back to her lab and Steve heads back to his room. Lying in bed again, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about what she said. Maybe he and Wanda can make a home here.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky makes the block with Alpine’s little furry head poking out of his jacket. When he comes back around to his apartment building, he looks up at the living room window. Heading into the building, he passes a man he doesn’t recognize. It’s not that Bucky knows everyone that lives in his building, but something about the guy just seems wrong. Stepping into the lift, he chuckles to himself because all of this is making him paranoid.

He lets Alpine out of his jacket and hangs it behind the door. He sits at his desk and pulls out paper and a pen. Normally, he’s do this on the computer, but he doesn’t want this on something that can be hacked. He goes to the bathroom and retrieves the document that Steve sent. Sitting again, he starts going through it page by page and making notes of everything he finds that should be challenged. He works into the evening, nearly exhausting himself. Going into the kitchen, he feeds the furry beast and stands to watch him eat for a few minutes.

All he ever wanted to do with his life was to teach and be the best person he could be; now he’s sneaking around with a document that he shouldn’t have for a man that he doesn’t know. He knows the stuff that everyone does, sure, but he doesn’t know the man. Bucky wonders how hard it was for Steve to decide to send this to an innocent person, someone not part of that cloak and dagger world. That makes Bucky sit on the floor, next to the eating cat. Was that a struggle for Steve? Did he question his actions and what it might mean for the person he sent it to?

He knows, he just knows, that Steve is carrying the weight of sending this document to Bucky. Leaning back on the counter, he straightens his legs out and Alpine comes over to sit on them. He’s not sure when the man went from being Captain Rogers to Steve Rogers to just Steve. Reaching down, Bucky starts to stroke the purring animal that makes his life better. Smiling, he wonders if Steve is a cat person or a dog person. Closing his eyes, he lets himself drift a little, he’s tired, but still has papers to actually grade from his under-grad class. But for just a second, he lets himself wonder about blond hair and blue eyes in the morning. Snapping himself out of that train of thought, he gets up. Steve Rogers sent him a document, he didn’t ask Bucky out on a date.

Going back to his desk, he reaches down into his briefcase and finds that he didn’t bring the papers home to grade. He was so caught up in this other situation that after printing them out, he left them sitting on his desk at work. “Son of a bitch!” It’s the weekend, so if he doesn’t get them, he’ll be really behind by Monday. Getting up, he grabs his jacket and keys. “I gotta go to the office.” He calls it out and then laughs. “And I’m telling this to a cat because I think that he cares.” 


	7. Chapter 7

“This friend that you need to correspond with, he can be trusted, yes?” Shuri looks over her display at Steve pacing around the lab. They’ve been in Wakanda for two weeks and in that time, he’s tried not to ask for anything. Wanda spends her days investigating the city and has started working with the scientists that are trying to repopulate some of the endangered animal species. They gave her a baby Elephant Shrew to feed and care for and now she goes nowhere without the little animal. Steve’s glad because it gives her something to focus on that isn’t their current situation.

“Yes, he can be trusted and I need to make sure he’s okay. I pulled him into this and I have to make sure…” He stops talking because the idea that Dr. Barnes could be in danger weighs on him.

She comes over, handing him something that looks like a small holographic computer. “This is the closest thing that we have to a phone in Wakanda. Normally, we just use the beads.”

Steve nods and logs into his email. Finding an email that was sent just before they came here, he sits to read it through carefully. That was two weeks ago and Steve hopes that nothing has happened to the man. Pulling his chair up to the work table, he lays the pad down and starts typing.

_To:_ [ _DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_From:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_Subject: Safe_

_Dr. Barnes,_

_I apologize first for taking so long to get back to you. I am safe and also somewhere that they can’t get to me. Please tell me that you’re safe too. That’s what’s been on my mind most. Has anyone approached you? Do you have people you can trust?_

_I gave the document to some people that are better at this than me and they’ve confirmed everything you wrote. They are; however, in a position to challenge the situation and be successful. I feel a little useless right now._

_If you need anything, please let me know. I could get them to help you too. If you want to just let this rest, I would completely understand. Please don’t feel like you have to contact me back, but I would really like to know that you’re okay._

_I’m sorry I got you into this. It was wrong._

_Take care,_

_Your friend_

Steve clicks send and hopes for the best, which would be a response confirming that Dr. Barnes is okay. “I’m tired of feeling useless.”

Shuri laughs and grabs Steve’s arm, dragging him from the lab. “Then I will give you something to do so you do not feel that way.”

She deposits him with the general of the Dora Milaje, Okoye. They speak in rapid fire Wakandan and the general nods, pulling Steve into the gym area. “Change your clothes and meet me here.”

Steve looks at Shuri. “I would do as the General says, she is not a patient person.”

Finding out that the woman is the general of the guards gets Steve moving. He’s changed and back out on the gym floor within minutes. She’s still in her uniform, but has dropped the staff off to the side. “Attack me.”

Three hours later, Steve is sore in a way that he hasn’t been in many, many years. They sparred for hours and he didn’t win one round. She offers him water, sitting down next to him. “Thank you.”

She gives him a side-eye. “You have good strength and balance, but you move like,” She mumbles something in Wakandan. “like you are holding yourself back. We must fix that so you can move naturally without the shield.”

“I’m not sure how to do that. It’s been a part of me for so many years.” She nods in understanding and doesn’t seem as standoffish as before.

“It is understandable, Captain, but you offered your service to my country and I would feel bad if something happened and you got your ass kicked.” Steve barks a laugh, making Okoye laugh too. “Now, the first thing we have to do is help you unlearn everything you are doing wrong.”

“And what am I doing wrong?” She snorts a laugh at that.

“Everything.” Getting up, he laughs too and they go back to work. It feels good to be doing something, even if that something is getting his ass handed to him by the most well-trained, competent person he’s ever met.

He spends the day with her and by the time he gets to his apartment, he’s dripping sweat and feels like a million dollars. It’s been a long time since anyone has treated him like a student and not like a leader. Okoye talked him through what he currently uses and why it is not always successful. She told him that he has been relying on the shield and not using what he has at his disposal outside of that hardware. She explains that the guards have weapons, but their first and best weapon is their mind and body. Steve has been using his body as a battering ram since being given the serum. Now he needs to learn to trust that there is more in him than just that.

Wanda is sitting on the sofa in the living room when Steve gets out of the shower and goes to find food. She’s feeding the little animal that she’s become a parent to. She’s quietly talking to it as it eats the insects she’s giving it. “How is he…she…it?”

Wanda looks up grinning. “She is doing very well and eats her weight in bugs every day.” She sits the thing in her lap and it crawls into her pocket on the front of her robes. “What did you do today?”

“I learned why everything I’ve been doing to win a fight is wrong.” Getting up, she comes into the kitchen, leaning into his side. “Let’s fix dinner.”

Nodding she sweeps her fingers at the counter and music starts to play. They talk and laugh while preparing a simple dinner and continue while they eat. “We are going to be happy here.” Steve looks up at her words and realizes that he’s had a good day. Maybe they can be happy here.


	8. Chapter 8

For days Bucky has been losing hope that Captain Rogers actually made it out okay. Two weeks after all the shit hit the fan, he fixes coffee and goes to this desk. He’s got a class this afternoon, but lately he hasn’t been feeling the drive to do anything accept sit by his computer and wait. The news has been blowing up with all of this. Apparently, someone released the report, in its entirety to the media, and Washington has been in the hot seat because of it. Politicians and military personnel have had to scramble to answer some tough questions, but there are still too many that think the report is a good idea. Bringing up his email, he jumps, spilling coffee on his shirt and yelping at the burn, because there’s an email from him.

Bucky reads through everything then lets his fingers fly over the keys.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From_ [ _DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DRJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Re: Concern_

_Steve,_

_Jesus, I’m glad to hear from you. Things here, as I’m sure you know, are going crazy. Someone released the report. Did you do that? I’ve been really worried. I think my classes are thankful that I’m so distracted lately._

_I don’t have anyone that I’ve shared this with because I don’t want them to be in any danger because of me. And before you say anything, I’m glad you picked me to help you with this. I’m glad that I could actually give you information that you needed. Why did you pick me?_

_The Committee is under fire right now, but like I wrote before, I think they have some higher ups in their pocket. I did see that Wakanda has come out severely against this and has challenged the committee to try and breach the borders. I’m telling you, I think there’s more going on in that little nation than anyone thinks._

_Listen Steve, I’m here if you need to talk. There isn’t anything that’s going to make me back off of this. Someone released a video of what happened at the Avengers Compound, no one knows who released it, but it shows Stark attacking you. He’s under fire for that right now too. None of the other Avengers have come forward and that has me curious. Steve, is it possible that the committee has something on the team. The only way this makes sense is if something is…well…wrong._

_Please, please, please email me back._

_Bucky_

He sits back, just breathing for a minute, thinking about Steve somewhere out there hiding from all of this. His heart hurts for a man that shouldn’t be on the run because of some over-ambitious assholes in Washington. He should be somewhere safe, he should always be safe, but he’s also a good man that does good for the world. 

Bucky goes to change his shirt, pulling his hair back into a loose bun, grabbing his keys and briefcase, he heads to work. As he locks the door, he wonders if Steve has a soul mate.

His classes go about as well as they have been. There are moments during his lecture that he’ll think of something and pause to write it down. His students look on puzzled at his behavior because he’s normally so focused. Bucky knows in the last couple of weeks, that hasn’t been the case. After the last class, he heads back to his office. Sam isn’t on campus today, he’s gone to a conference, so his TA is teaching the class and Darcy asked for the day off. She said something about a doctor’s appointment or a dentist appointment, Bucky can’t remember. Anyway, after all of her help, he wasn’t going to say no. Slipping his key into the door, he’s surprised to find it already unlocked. He expects to find Darcy there, but instead he finds a man, looking through the books on his shelf.

The man looks up, giving a quirky smile. “Ah, Dr. Barnes, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Phil Coulson.”

The man extends his hand and Bucky takes it reluctantly. This could be the beginning of things going bad, but until he knows what the man wants, he’s going to play along. “Mr. Coulson,” Bucky looks at the door, “how did you get in here?”

Coulson chuckles. “I nice young man let me in. Said that he worked reception for this block of offices.” Bucky doesn’t sense anything off about the answer except everything about this seems off.

Bucky shakes his head in frustration. He looks at his computer, but it’s still off, so maybe this isn’t what Bucky thinks. “Are you the parent of one of my students?”

That causes Phil to really laugh. “Oh no, I’m not a parent to anyone. I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

Bucky can’t help himself and chuckles along with this strange man. “Then what can I do for you?” Bucky heads to the other side of his desk to sit his briefcase down on the floor.

“You received an email a few weeks ago and I’d like to talk to you about that.” Everything in Bucky freezes up and he turns to Coulson with his eyes narrowed.

“I don’t know who you are, but any emails that I receive are between myself and the sender, so why don’t you leave now and I won’t call security.” Phil sits in the chair on the other side of the desk. He seems non-threatening, but Bucky knows better than that. Unassuming is exactly what Bucky would expect.

“Well Dr. Barnes, since your security works for me, I don’t think they would lend the help you’re hoping for.” Bucky legs come out from under him and he sinks into his chair. Now, he’s scared. There’s a strong bet that Phil Coulson has a gun on him and Bucky is a sitting duck. He also bets that Phil could and will stop him if he makes for the door and even if he doesn’t, the man can call security to have Bucky dragged back.

Phil watches him for a few minutes. He seems to be assessing Bucky and what the professor is going to do. That’s when Bucky thinks about Steve. Steve trusted him and Bucky sure as hell isn’t going to let the man down. Sitting up straight, he pulls his shoulders back and stares Phil Coulson right in the eye. There’s just a tiny flicker of surprise in the man’s eyes. “Tell me who the email was from.”

Bucky keeps repeating, ‘you’re doing this for Steve, you’re doing this for Steve,’ over and over in his head. “Why don’t you tell me why you want to know?”

“Well, at least you didn’t deny it.” Not only is Bucky not going to deny it, but he’s going to get this man out of his office as soon as possible and email Steve again. “Dr. Barnes, the information that you have received wasn’t for public consumption.”

Bucky takes a deep breath, then another. “Well maybe it should have been.”

“That’s not something that either of us can do anything about since it’s been released.” Coulson leans forward just slightly. “Did you do that Dr. Barnes? Did you release the Accords so everyone could see what was in the document?”

He may be sitting up straight, he may have his shoulder’s squared, he may be meeting Coulson’s eyes, but Bucky’s hands are about to shake off of his body. He grips the arms of his chair. Then a thought occurs to him. “How do you even know I received an email?”

“Now you’re thinking.” Something about the man’s words seem like praise, but that can’t be right. “You sent the email to the printer down the hall, correct?” Bucky doesn’t answer. “Well anyway, the printer you sent it to is a smart printer, so it stored the date and the IP address of the computer it came from. So see Dr. Barnes, we know you got it. We just want to know where you got it.”

Bucky gets up and goes to the door, opening it, he takes a deep breath. “I think you need to leave. I don’t know you or what you really want, but I can tell you, you aren’t getting anything out of me.”

Phil watches him closely for a minute, then gets up to leave. As he gets closer, he pauses. “You aren’t want I expected and I can see why he sent it to you.” He doesn’t clarify the who, but Bucky thinks that this guy knows that Steve sent the document. “I’ll be in touch.” Bucky shuts the door and collapses to the floor. He’s got to warn Steve. Bucky stops his labored breathing and thinks about that. If he sends an email telling Steve about this, the super soldier will stop emailing or worse yet, come back from wherever he’s hiding to help. No, he’s not going to warn Steve. Whatever happens, Bucky knows that he’s got to handle it on his own.

He sits at his desk again, gathering his strength. He breathes in and out for awhile, letting his mind and heart calm down. It wouldn’t matter who they sent, Bucky would be terrified, but Coulson didn’t seem like he wanted to hurt Bucky. Unfortunately, what he does want is a name and Bucky can’t give him that. He works until later than he meant to, papers have been stacking up and like it or not, he’s still got to take care of his students. Shutting his computer, Bucky takes a deep breath and pulls out his phone to orders an Uber.

Going out the side door, Bucky avoids the security desk. If what Coulson said is true, he doesn’t want to deal with people keeping an eye on him. He sits on the curb outside his building, waiting for his car. A few minutes later, it pulls up, it’s a small sedan and the driver rolls the passenger window down. “You Dr. Barnes?”

Bucky looks up, trying to smile. “Yeah.” Getting up, he gets in the backseat. They leave the parking lot, but take a turn that Bucky isn’t expecting. “It’s faster if you go…” That’s when it hits him. The guy asked if he was Dr. Barnes. That’s not what comes up on his Uber account. He clinches his fists and thinks about Coulson. This has to be his doing.

Bucky pulls his cell out to use the emergency icon, but the screen is black. Looking up the driver smirks at him. As slyly as he can, he looks around the car and doesn’t see the Uber sign, doesn’t see the creds posted on the dash.

This is not good. 

Bucky just got in a car with, what he can only assume, is someone after Steve. His heart rate speeds up, and his breathing becomes erratic. The guy checks him in the mirror, smiles, and it’s not kind, then presses a button on the dash. A clear partition comes up, separating the driver from the backseat. It seals off the back and the air fills with a noxious gas. The last thing that Bucky hears is the guy telling someone that he’s got the package.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam opens the door of the van, letting Agent Coulson in and then turning to check with Darcy. Coulson sits, grinning at the other two and relaxing into the chair. “He’s exactly what you said it was.” Sam sits on the bench behind Darcy so he can see the screens. “He’s smart and asked just the right questions. No wonder Captain Rogers sent him the document.”

Sam sees the blip that’s Bucky’s cell disappear from the screen. “Darce, what just happened?” They wouldn’t be here, staked out just down the block from Bucky’s apartment, but a few days ago something pinged in Darcy’s program. Someone else seems to know that Bucky is the one that got the document, so Sam went to a ‘conference’ and Darcy is a ‘medical issue’ and they follow their friend 24/7 to keep him safe. Sending Phil in was Sam’s way is seeing if Bucky knew how much trouble he could be in.

She’s clicking keys faster than Sam can keep up with. Coulson gets up, leaning over Darcy’s shoulder, watching the screen. “Darcy?”

She’s still working, but when Sam kneels next to her chair, she’s got tears on her face. “The tracker is dead.”

Sam turns her chair, but she fights him and struggles back around to her screen. Coulson isn’t getting any answers and needs them so he knows what to do. “Darcy, you need to explain!”

She bangs her fists into the keyboard and turns to Coulson. “Phil, someone has blocked the tracker’s transmission and I can’t get eyes on him.” When Phil left they office, they watched for hours until Darcy’s program told them that Bucky had put in for an Uber. They’d jumped the gun and headed back to the apartment for surveillance. Apparently, they moved to soon.

Coulson taps his earpiece and turns from the other two. “I need eyes on Barnes.” There’s chatter on the com, but nothing is making sense. “Who was the last person to see Barnes?”

The security guard from the university comes on the line. “Sir, he got into a car thinking it was his Uber, but the one he ordered showed up a few minutes after he pulled out.”

“FUCK!” Coulson turns to Darcy. “I need you to hack every camera around that parking lot and find the car he got into.”

Now that she has an objective, Darcy wipes her face and starts clacking away at the keys. Sam’s ass hits the floor of the van. All he can think about is that he could have helped his friend if he’d just told him what his real day job is. Guilt slides over him like a thick tar and tears well up in his eyes. Coulson looks down at him with sympathy. “I’ve got the car!” Sam jumps up because he may not have been there when it counted for Bucky, but he’s sure as hell going to get him out of this. 

“Track it and find that car.” Sam looks up at Coulson and the man nods. Sam leaves the van and heads for the tack van down the block. When he gets there, the Strike Team is sitting around joking about god knows what. When Sam opens the door and starts to suit up, they follow his lead.

“Whata we got, Lieutenant?” They can tell by the look on his face that it’s serious. The only time that Lieutenant Sam Wilson looked that determined was in the deserts of Afghanistan. 

“Our guy has been taken.” Darcy comes running down the street to join them. “Tell me what you have.”

She hands him a tablet and he starts scrolling through what she found out. “Getting in and out of there is going to be…”

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose, looking back at his team, he sighs. “I’m going to give every one of you an out right now. Where we have to go, if we get caught, it’s a treasonous offense. You want out, say it now and no one’s going to think less of you.”

The men and women looks at him like he’s crazy. Jake comes forward, laying a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Sir, just point us where you need us.”

They head back to the control van. As they walk, Sam looks up at Bucky’s apartment and can see Alpine in the window. He’s just sitting and watching and if Sam knows that cat, like he thinks he does, he’s being judged for his miscalculation. He really didn’t think that anyone would come for Bucky, but they must want Captain Rogers more than Sam thought. Coulson his standing by the large screen, looking at the blue prints of the building they have to get in and out of. However, these plans, that Darcy found, show more than what Coulson knew to be there. “Are these tunnels?”

Darcy sits back down as the team crowds in. She spins the layout on screen to blow up certain sections. “You’ll go in here.” Sam looks at everything and knows that this is going to take time, time that Bucky may not have. The tunnels under the United Nations Building are like a maze and they have no idea where Bucky may be inside. There are three entry points that Sam can see, so he gives orders for each member of his team and where they will enter.

“What you need to understand is we have to get in and out without anyone knowing until we’re already gone.” The team nods and heads back to the tack van. Sam looks at Darcy. “What can you tell me about their security that I don’t already know?” She starts talking and Coulson adds his own knowledge.

Coulson goes to suit up, leaving Sam and Darcy alone. She stands up, hugging him. “You gotta bring him out alive.” Sam holds on to her and takes a shaky breath, nodding.

“We should have told him, Darce. We shouldn’t have done this op the way we did.” She leans away, taking his face in her hands.

“We should have never thought of this as an op, Sam. That’s where we went wrong.” He jumps out of the back of the van and heads to his team.

His team, plus Coulson, wait for his orders. “This isn’t just an op, this is my best friend. Some of you remember him after we came home.” They weren’t told who they were protecting, just where he lived in the building if anyone tried to get in, now the realization crosses their faces, they know why their commander is like this. “He comes out alive.” There are nods. “This is a stealth mission, not that I wouldn’t mind killing them all, but that’s not what this is about.” He turns back to Darcy. “I’ll drive you in and then you’ll be our ears and eyes.” Phil takes the tac van and Sam the command station. Parked blocks away, they check for cameras. Darcy hacks into what’s there and makes whoever might be watching blind. 

“He’s going to be pissed because we told him the phone couldn’t be traced.” Sam barks out a laugh and hugs Darcy again.

“Better us tracing it than someone else.” Sam leans over, seeing where Bucky is being taken. Sam looks at the blue prints again. He knows his friend and he’ll die in there before he tells them what they want to know. He’s watched him, covertly, over the weeks and he can’t really say why, but he knows that Steve Rogers has become exceptionally important to Bucky. He doesn’t know who these people are, but he’s not going to let them get what they want.

Sam pulls the mask over his head, lowering the night vision goggles, and leading a team to infiltrate the United Nations Building. Not a mission he ever thought he’d be on, but Bucky is worth anything they have to do to get him back. 

Darcy’s voice comes through the earpiece. “Channel 7 is secure.” Sam starts to switch over, but she keeps talking. “Sam, you bring him home in one piece. You understand me?”

“Yes ma’am.” He tries to smile, but they are both thinking the same thing. Switching his com over to channel 7, he starts giving orders. They go in black for the infiltration through the maze of tunnels, it takes time, time that he’s afraid that Barnes might not have. They aren’t even sure where he’s being held and that puts them at a disadvantage that Sam doesn’t like. He feels a tap on his arm and finds Coulson, pointing down a corridor, asking permission to investigate. Sam nods and the man moves away without a sound.

At the time of breach, Bucky had been gone for several hours, they infiltrated two hours ago, so Bucky’s been in their hands for going on six hours. That’s more than enough time to do more damage than Sam wants to think about. The tunnels just keep going and he gets the signal with each sweep that Bucky isn’t in any of the rooms. Maybe they’re wrong and he’s not actually here. Maybe this was a decoy. Those thoughts continue until he rounds a corner and sees guards on the floor. Jake is at the end of the hallway, motioning for Sam to come to him.

When he gets there, Jake indicates a direction and holds up three fingers. After years of working together, first in the military and now for their tiny organization, Sam heads down the hall and counts the three doors. A guard comes out of the room across from it and Sam clocks him in the head with the butt of his gun. Jake drags the body into the room, closing the door. He stands back to back with Sam and that’s when they hear the screams.

Phil joins them and sets up the charge, blowing the door where they find Bucky strapped to a table, screams echoing into the room. And Secretary Ross standing over him. Sam raises his gun, aiming at the asshole over his friend. “What is this?” He’s always been an arrogant son of a bitch and this is no different. He thinks they will see his face and back down. 

Like hell that’s going to happen.

“This is a rescue mission.” And Sam fires his enhanced TASER, Ross falls to the floor, convulsing and knocking his head against the side of the table on his way down, which makes Sam smile, but it fades when he gets to the table. Bucky is delirious and bleeding. There are cuts across his arms, chest, stomach, thighs, and ankles, bruises all over, and he’s taken a beating to his face and trunk of his body. His ankles are swollen and Sam fears they may be broken.

He’s not saying anything that makes sense. There’s also a burn on his arm that Sam can’t identify. He looks around for a cause, but can’t find any. He’s pretty sure he’s been drugged and since he doesn’t know what they drugged him with, he doesn’t know if Barnes talked. He’d bet against it though. Jake is across the room with a flashdrive downloading everything that happened since Bucky arrived. The technician is on the floor unconscious and Sam doesn’t even remember Jake doing that with his focus on his friend.

Lifting his friend from the table, he heads back out the door. “Give me cover and Darcy, find someplace safe to take him for recovery.”

Coulson speaks up. “I know a place.”


	10. Chapter 10

Steve sits with his phone in his hand. He’s been waiting for a response to his email, hoping beyond hope that Dr. Barnes, Bucky, is okay. When he checks again, it’s waiting for him, but when he opens it, he sees his name. So, Barnes did know that it was him. Taking a deep breath, he starts reading and the more he reads the more he smiles. Clicking reply, he starts to type a response.

_To:_ [ _DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_From_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_Subject: Good to hear from you_

_Bucky,_

_I didn’t release the report, but I know who did. I’m going to keep that to myself though because sometimes the less you know the better. Yes, I do wish I hadn’t gotten you involved in this, but there’s part of me that is glad. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but it’s been nice ‘talking’ to you about this._

_I agree with you that there’s got to be some really highly placed people for this to have gotten as far as it did. Something about this whole situation with Tony doesn’t sit well and maybe you’re right, maybe they have something on the team that I don’t know about. I can’t imagine what that might be though. They were my friends, my family, but now I don’t feel like I knew any of them, except Wanda. She’s safe too by the way._

_Thanks for being willing to talk. It’s not that I can’t talk to the people that I’m with, it’s just…hell, I’m not sure. Writing to you helps. How long have you known that it’s me? When did I slip up? Natasha used to tell me that I wasn’t very good at stealth and she’s right. One of the people that I’m working with told me that I’m a battering ram. She’s right, that’s all I’ve ever been._

_Please keep writing to me, unless it puts you in danger. If that happens, send me an email and let me know. I’ll find a way to come back and help since I’m the one that put you in danger in the first place. I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t really what I intended._

_Thank you for everything,_

_Steve_

He’s early to his training session, so when Okoye walks in and finds him waiting she smiles, pleased. “You are a good pupil, Steven.”

“I was afraid if I was late you’d beat me up even worse than normal.” She laughs and motions to the mat. 

“I want you to close your eyes.” Steve quirks an eyebrow at her. “No, I will not attack you…for now.” Steve closes his eyes. “Breathe, clear your mind.” He does as he’s told. After a few minutes, he starts to relax. “Now, tell me what is happening in the room.”

Steve breathes deeply again. “You’ve moved closer to me, but just out of reach, I think.” He tries to listen to his surroundings. He feels a shift in the room, but he isn’t sure what he means by that.

“You are correct, but you have missed something very important. Don’t just listen with your ears, listen with you mind.” She’s moving again, but still stays just out of his reach.

Steve wonders what she means by listening with his mind. He starts to think about it from a tactician’s brain. If it were him, what would he do? “There are more people in the room.”

“Do not open your eyes, but tell me why you believe that.” Steve’s shoulders slump because he doesn’t know that there are more, he could be way off base, but he feels it.

“It’s what I would do. I would bring in backup when the enemy is…”

“First, you are not the enemy and neither am I.” She’s standing next to him now, hand on his back. “Open your eyes Steven.” When he does, he sees more guards lining the walls, all standing at attention and in front of him is a man in a Black Panther suit, mask and all. “Now tell me how you knew.”

“I didn’t know, exactly, I just…felt it.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I also thought about what I would do.”

“And that is good because Steven, you must learn to trust your instincts again. You stopped trusting yourself when you picked up the shield.” Steve turns to argue with her on that. “You became reliant on the shield to protect you and less on what you knew. Today, you will fight the greatest warrior that our country has. He will not go easy on you, but you must trust yourself again.”

They fight for hours and Steve is thrown around the room like a toy. He gets in a few good licks, but mostly he’s at the mercy of King T’Challa and skill that Steve doesn’t match in any way. Okoye calls the fight when Steve looks wrecked. T’Challa takes the mask off, smiling at Steve. “You are a good opponent, but you could be better.” He holds out his hand to help Steve to his feet. “Work with me and become more than you thought you could.”

Wanda stands at the door, cradling her little furry friend and smiling. Steve looks over and smiles at her. “Yeah, I think that I’d like that.” Steve finds very quickly that working with the guard and the King is more than just physical, there’s some kind of mysticism going on in this country that he’d like to understand better.

Late one night, when Steve can’t sleep, he goes for a walk around the palace grounds. He hasn’t heard back from Bucky and that has his mind running in circles. He reaches the tree line that he knows is the edge of the palace property when he hears, “Are you looking to escape?”

He turns to find the Queen Mother coming toward him. She’s dressed more casually than he ever thought he’d see. The robes are white with a purple design and her hair isn’t under a headdress of any kind. She’s grey, which surprises him because her face is devoid of wrinkles. She’s a striking woman, but Steve couldn’t guess her age if he was asked. “No ma’am, I just couldn’t sleep.”

She smiles gently. “It seems as we get older, sleep is more evasive, yes?”

Steve chuckles, technically, he’s much older than she is probably. “Yes ma’am, I guess it is.”

“What troubles you tonight?” She indicates the ground and they sit. Since he and Wanda have been here, he knows that Ramonda and Wanda have talked quite a bit. The Queen Mother is a maternal figure and Wanda needs that. Wanda has also become very close to Shuri and with their ages being so close, that isn’t a surprise. 

“Your son is a good man and wants to teach me how to be better. I just want to be worthy of that and understand all of it better.” She reaches over, patting his hand. It’s so similar to something his mother used to do and Steve realizes he’s missed having a maternal figure too.

“My son is a good man, but has not always made wise choices. When his father died, he did not take it well and lashed out. It was months before he was ready to take the mantle of King and Black Panther. He rebelled in a way that I never assumed he would.” Steve doesn’t speak, he wants her to have her say. She smiles at him understanding his respect for her words. “You see, Steven, we do not believe that death is the end, we believe it is only the beginning. When my son was ready, he battled for the position of king, it is not guaranteed to him just because his father was king. He won, with honor, and went through the ritual to become the Black Panther.” She looks off into the night, like she’s reliving something. “During the ritual, the one that takes the mantle visits the Ancestral Plane and is able to talk to the past warriors.” 

“You mean?” Steve can’t help the question.

“Yes, he was able to see and speak to his father.” She leans in, taking his hand, running her fingers over the calluses. “Perhaps, with time, you will understand what we believe here, but until then, listen to your instincts.” They are a repeat of Okoye’s words. Maybe he needs to start listening to other people and stop fighting with himself. She looks at him and he’s sure she can see right into his soul. “Tell me, Steven, why do you continue to keep your mark covered?”

He looks down at his arm, where there’s still a bandage. “I’m not sure. I think I’m afraid to hope.”

The darkness sometimes makes people brave and sometimes it’s just easier to say things to the darkness than it is in the light. “Have you looked at it?”

It picks at the edge of the bandage. “No.” She seems surprised by his answer. “I change the bandage every day, but I can’t bring myself to look at what’s there. I can’t let myself…”

“Want?” He nods without meeting her eyes. “You are a lost soul.” He nods again. “You will find yourself, the self you were always meant to be.”

“I hope you’re right.” She gives a sad smile, one that he’s familiar with.

“Now, help an old woman back to her room.” Steve laughs, standing and offering his hand. She stands, taking his arm as they make their way back to the palace.


	11. Chapter 11

“Would someone please get me my phone!” Bucky has been in this hospital bed for nearly a week and it’s starting to grate on his nerves. He doesn’t know where he is and no one will tell him where he is. He’s had people coming into his room trying to ask him questions about everything that’s happened. He threw Phil out, but the man didn’t seem to mind. Sam and Darcy haven’t asked, but they came in with a man named Fury, what the hell kind of name is that. The tall black man with an eye patch that Bucky isn’t sure is real, just for effect, tried to intimidate him into talking. Sam and Darcy both lost their cook when Bucky, very angrily, told Fury to, “Fuck right the hell off man and get me my fucking phone!” No one has tried to question him since.

He can’t sleep because when he tries, nightmares haunt him. He wakes screaming sometimes and Sam or Darcy comes in to ease his mind. The problem is, that doesn’t ease his mind because over the last week, he’s found out that his friends aren’t who he thought. His friends are goddamn SPIES. They’ve been watching him for months, keeping track of his movements and monitoring his phone. The ‘untraceable’ one. Bucky feels like a damn fool.

The door opens and Sam comes in, phone in hand. “Man, you have got to stop yelling and terrorizing the medical staff.”

“Give me the fucking phone, Wilson.” Sam hands it over and Bucky brings up his email. He looks up accusingly at his ‘friend.’ “I’m guessing that you’ve already read the email, but you better not have responded.”

Sam sits in the chair next to the bed. He’s sulking, but that isn’t all, he’s also guilty and Bucky’s glad of that because what they did was wrong. Bucky is very aware that wherever they’ve brought him, it isn’t a regular hospital, but they’ve made it look as close to one as possible. The doctor that’s been here every hour of every day looks about as tired as Bucky feels. Bucky doesn’t trust anything about his new normal and he sure as hell doesn’t trust anyone that comes through that door. “No one responded, but yes, we have read it. I think you’ve made a friend.” The joke falls flat because Bucky just glares at him.

His wounds are healing, but they won’t let him take the bandage off his arm. Bucky is sure whatever happened to his arm, it must be bad. But then everything that happened to him was bad. Bucky reads through the email from Steve and can’t help the smile. He’s safe. That’s really all that matters. Bucky doesn’t know when Steve’s safety became an all consuming desire, but it did. At first it was just Bucky’s desire to help the man; now keeping him safe is everything. He reads it through a second time and hits reply. Sam starts to reach out like he’s going to stop Bucky and he growls causing Sam to pull his hand back.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_Subject: Things you need to know_

_Steve,_

_I’m hesitant to tell you everything, not because I don’t trust you, I do, but because I know that others are going to read this. Let me try to explain. There are people in my life that I thought were one thing and it turns out they are something else. People were also put in place a few months back to protect me, I think. I’m not sure. What I can say is this, they did save me when I was taken, so I maybe I can trust them again. Just not now._

_I’m glad that Wanda is safe too. I was worried that one or both of you wouldn’t get away. I’ve known that it was you since the interview you did. It just all clicked into place and I did what I did to help. You don’t have to worry about me or what I might tell people. There was video footage when I was taken and I didn’t say anything, even though I was drugged. One of my ‘friends’ tells me that he knew I wouldn’t talk._

_I don’t know where to go from here. I’m not an agent or even a trained soldier, so all this is new to me. I want you to keep emailing because I think we’re friends now, right? You gotta have someone to talk to and I’m here. I don’t know if they are planning on putting me somewhere safe after my hospital stay because no one will tell me anything, but I will always answer your emails. I kinda feel like we’re in this together now. Don’t leave me hangin, okay Steve?_

_Take care,_

_Bucky_

Bucky looks over at Sam, frowning. “What happens now?”

Sam looks like he’s about to cry and Bucky doesn’t like the way that sits. “You can’t go home. We called the university and told them you had an accident and since there’s only a few weeks left in the semester, they’re going to have your TA take over the classes.” Bucky starts to object. “What the hell do you expect to do? They know about you now and we’ve got to keep our only channel to Cap open.”

Bucky leans back, looking up at the ceiling. “I fucking hate this! It’s like I don’t even know you! I’m just a means to an end for you now! What the fuck man?”

Sam sighs and gets up to close the door. The nurse that was heading to the room gets a severe head shake from Sam and she turns around to leave. He turns back to the bed, glaring at his friend. “If you think, after 15 years of friendship, that I’m that much of an asshole, then you never really knew me.” He goes to the end of the bed panting with anger. “You were never supposed to be part of this, man! The chances of his contacting you were next to nothing. Out of a list of 5 potentials, you were dead last. Leave it to Captain America to contact the one person that I was connected to and here we the fuck are!”

Tears well up in Bucky’s eyes and he looks away. “He’s a hero for what he’s trying to do. He’s a good guy, Sam.” He sniffles and Sam grabs him a tissue. Bucky takes it, wiping his eyes harshly. “I don’t want to do anything that he doesn’t know about. I can’t even have a private conversation with him. Everything is being checked by you people. How am I supposed to feel about that?”

Sam sits on the end of the bed, wrapping a hand around Bucky shin. “Yeah man, I get why this is hitting you so hard, but you gotta understand that there was no way that any of this was supposed to ever touch you. Most of my ops were stakeouts and gathering intel.”

“How did they find me, Sam?” Sam looks away, embarrassed and obviously frustrated.

“That’s on us, actually.” Bucky looks up with murder in his eyes. “When you sent the document to the printer at work we were able to track that.” Sam gets up and goes to look out the window in the door. The hallway looks like any other hospital, but it’s just this one hallway and it isn’t a real hospital. He doesn’t know how to tell Bucky any of this. How does he tell his friend, ‘you’re in a secret base run by people that used to be SHIELD?’ “Then when Phil came to see you, it tipped the other guys off. The ones that took you.”

“Son of a bitch!” Bucky starts to throw back the covers to get up, but Sam’s hands on his shoulders stop him.

“You can’t get up.” Bucky tries anyway and nearly hits the floor. Helping his friend back into the bed, Sam pulls the covers back up. “They really did a number on you, so walking isn’t going to be possible for a few weeks. They aren’t broken, but your ankles are severely sprained.”

Bucky is about to start yelling again, when his phone starts to ring. Checking the screen, it’s a blocked number. “What the fuck?” Sam shakes his head, but Bucky, in a moment of defiance, answers anyway. “Hello?”

“Bucky!” Dr. James B. Barnes would know that voice anywhere, even though he’s only heard it on TV.

“Steve?” Sam runs from the room and Bucky knows they only have a few seconds before someone else is listening. The other man starts to talk, but Bucky breaks in. “Listen to me Steve, in a few seconds there’s going to be other ears on this call. Don’t say anything you don’t want _my friends_ to know.” 

Bucky hears a vague click and knows that someone is listening. “Bucky are you okay? I got your email just now and you were taken? What happened?”

“Whoa there, Steve, I’m okay. Well, not okay, but I will be. It was my own fault. I got into what I thought was the Uber that I ordered, but it turned out it wasn’t. I don’t really remember anything after that.” That’s not a lie. He doesn’t want Steve to know that he remembers the pain, not specific memories of what happened, but moments of intense pain.

“Jesus, this is on me. Fuck! I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” Bucky doesn’t let him finish because he can’t let this man blame himself for what Sam just admitted was their fault. Some super spies these idiots turned out to be.

“It wasn’t you, Steve. It turns out that the people that claim to be my friends are actually spies, but not very good at their job. This is not your fault.” He hears the man breathing heavy on the other end of the phone. “Listen to me. Are you listening?”

Steve huffs. “Yeah Buck, I’m listening.”

He’s been trying to get Steve to call him Bucky instead of Dr. Barnes in their emails and now he’s gone and given Bucky a new nickname. Jesus, this man is…Bucky has to stop himself from thinking along those lines. “I’m glad you sent this to me. I’m glad that I’m the one on the other end of the emails. I’m glad that I’m the one on the end of this call even if my so called friends are listening.” Steve chuckles at that. 

“Your friends are trying to keep you safe.” Bucky growls making Steve chuckle again.

“My friends could have told me that they were part of some secret organization trying to stop evil from taking over the world.” There’s a bark of laughter from the other end of the phone. Bucky leans against the pillows and just absorbs that sound.

“I assume you’re saying this so that they hear you?” Steve’s picking on him now and that’s good, it means he’s not feeling guilty.

“Yes! That’s exactly why I’m saying it.” There’s a pause. “How are you Steve? And I mean really?”

There’s a sigh. “I’m okay. Still struggling and I found out from a friend that there is a search going on. They aren’t letting me go easily. They’ve got eyes all over the world looking for me.”

Fear clutches at Bucky’s and he wishes that he could stand in front of everyone and dare them to come for Steve. “Can they find you?” Then something occurs to Bucky. “Hey, how did you get this number?”

“The people helping me are smarter than anyone I’ve ever met. Getting this number was child’s play. And no, they can’t find me.” There’s more silence then a groan. “How bad are you hurt, Buck?” There’s that name again and Bucky feels his insides melt a little. This man has an entire planet looking for him and he’s worried about how bad Bucky got hurt. 

“Well, according to Sam I can’t walk for a couple of weeks. I have cuts that are probably going to scar and bruises. There’s a weird burn on my arm that they won’t let me see. Basically, I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” Bucky’s not going to lie to him about this. He hasn’t yet and he’s not going to start now. Steve deserves better than that.

“Thanks for telling me the truth and tell your friends that they need to get better at their job. If you get hurt again, I’m coming back and kicking some ass.” Bucky snorts a laugh knowing that Sam is probably rolling his eyes and because Darcy is losing her shit over what Steve just said. It’s possible that Bucky’s kind of losing his shit too. “I’m going to keep emailing you.”

“I hope that you do. Just be as cryptic as possible to drive these guys crazy.” They both laugh together at that. Steve’s laugh is deep and resonates through Bucky, settling somewhere that it has no business settling. Bucky rubs his chest, hoping that this new feeling eases up a little. He’s being a friend because that’s what Steve needs.

“You’re going to take care of yourself, right?” Something in his tone is soft and it makes Bucky a little weak. Clinching his fist into the t-shirt they gave him to wear, Bucky breathes through his emotional reaction.

“Yeah, and you’re going to do the same?” There’s a hum on the other end and Bucky takes that as an affirmative. They don’t talk, but they don’t hang up either. The door opens and the doctor comes in. “Hey, the doctor just came in, so I better go. Take care of yourself, Steve.”

“You too, Bucky.” The line goes dead and Bucky looks down at the screen, tears welling up again. He’s probably never going to meet the man in person and that hurts Bucky’s heart more than anything physical could.


	12. Chapter 12

Steve tosses his phone off to the side and turns back to Okoye. “Is your friend well?”

“The people looking for me took him and tortured him.” She looks at him critically and then turns back to one of the other guards, barking an order. She leaves quickly and turns back to Steve.

“I believe we should reevaluate our position.” Steve looks confused. “Steven, if the people you care about are being tortured to find you then perhaps we should make it so these people stop looking.” T’Challa enters the gym, but he isn’t dressed for a workout.

“What has happened?” Okoye explains in Wakandan what happened to Steve’s friend. T’Challa looks at Steve. “Is your friend…”

“He’s okay, but will be recovering for a few weeks.” He nods and turns back to Okoye who tells him what she thinks they should do.

“You are saying we should make the world believe that Captain Rogers has died?” Steve’s head jerks up at the king’s words. They converse a little longer and then both look at Steve.

“What?” She explains to both of them what she believes should happen and why. Steve doesn’t know how he feels about it, but it would solve a lot of problems for everyone, especially Bucky. They don’t work out that day, instead they go to the council chamber and put together a plan. “The only part of this I don’t like is not telling Wanda beforehand.” He also doesn’t like the idea that Bucky will think he died. He’s not sure how a man that he doesn’t know has become the one thing that grounds him, but Bucky has. It’s going to be hard, but it would fix everything. And no one will go after Bucky ever again.

“Steven, if she knows, she will not react accordingly. We need everyone to believe that you are dead and her reaction will be what,” Okoye searches for the word she’s looking for in English. “Sells the belief.”

“I do not like the idea of lying to her, but I believe Okoye is right, Steve.” Steve nods, but still doesn’t like how it feels.

“Okay, let’s put this together, but I would rather it be somewhere far enough away from here that you aren’t suspect.” T’Challa nods and gives the orders to find a believable location for this plot to work.

It takes nearly a week to put everything together and make the threat look big enough that Wanda will understand Steve’s desire to help and cause her to insist on going too. The night before they leave, all pieces in place and the team formed, Steve sits down to write an email. He doesn’t know exactly how he’s going to word it, but he has to send one more email. One more communication before his life stops. Taking a deep breath, he starts typing.

_To:_ [ _DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu_ ](mailto:DrJBBarnes@nyu.edu)

_From:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_Subject: How we got here_

_Bucky,_

_I don’t think your friends will get much out of this because it isn’t checking in like my other emails have been. I just want to talk, I guess. When I came out of the ice, a lot of people thought I would go through some kind of trauma, but I didn’t. I was overwhelmed, sure, but other than that, I just kind of took it in stride because what else was I going to do. Last night, for the first time since it happened, I took the bandage off of my arm. Everyone here knows, but no one outside of this place does. The night that I fought Tony, that night I suffered trauma. I didn’t realize what was happening, but the woman that helped me escape knew._

_My soul mark came in that night, Buck. What do you think of that? After nearly a hundred years and I got a soul mark. I didn’t understand a lot about them because the only reference I had was my ma. She and my da got theirs at the same time, so I just thought that’s how it worked, but according to my new friend, if you don’t suffer the same trauma it happens a little different. See, the mark I got, it doesn’t have eyes. Weird huh? Yeah, so the way it works is if you don’t suffer the same trauma as your soul mate, then the eyes don’t come in until you meet. Anyway, I’m just rambling now._

_So, tomorrow I’m going on a recon mission and before you freak out, I’m not going alone. The people that helped me need me and I can’t say no. Nothing dangerous is going to happen so you shouldn’t worry about me. Even if it did, you shouldn’t worry. I’m going to be okay. I just can’t sit by and let certain things happen when I know I can help. No matter what, I’m going to be okay._

_Take care of yourself, Bucky and to answer a question from a few emails ago, yes, we are friends. I feel like I could tell you anything, but I won’t because I don’t want you in anymore danger. Tell those friends of yours that I don’t want anything else to hurt you._

_Don’t worry,_

_Steve_

Steve knows how Bucky will read the email. He’ll think that Steve’s talking about the people he’s with, but he’s really talking about keeping Bucky safe. He and Wanda will be safe as long as they stay here, but Bucky never will be as long as Steve’s alive. He stares at the email for far too long before hitting send. It’s done. Tomorrow he dies and Bucky will be safe.


	13. Chapter 13

The following day, Bucky wakes from a nap in the afternoon to Sam shaking him. Blinking the fuzziness from his eyes, he looks up at Sam and knows that something is wrong. “What’s going on?”

Sam shakes his head and turns to the TV, clicking it on. “Your boy did something stupid.”

Bucky sits up too quick and winces at the pain. He watches as Captain America, Scarlet Witch, and a man dressed in a black stealth suit fight off a group. In the corner of the TV is a note that this was filmed earlier this morning. The announcer is talking about a terrorist cell that was going after a biological weapon. He doesn’t hear anything after that because Steve is taking on too many men at once. Wanda tries to fend them off, but there are so many and they keep coming. Bucky’s heart speeds up as the ticker across the bottom gives the location of the fight.

Bucky pulls the blankets off his legs and edges to the bedside, swinging his legs over, but not getting up. The pain is better, but still very present. The camera shakes, so Bucky assumes this is someone’s phone taking the video. Steve runs after one of the bad guys and into a building. Wanda is throwing men out of the way to get to the building too, but the man in black must yell something because she freezes in horror and then the building blows up. Wanda’s hands fly to her mouth and she collapses to the ground.

The terrorist group scatters and the man in black runs towards the building. Wanda is up and moving. Using her powers she’s throwing concrete and metal beams in every direction trying to get to Steve. Bucky watches in his own horror. Sam turns to him, but Bucky can’t speak. His eyes are glued to the TV when the phone filming all of this catches Wanda in mid-scream and she drops to the ground. The man in black carries Steve’s body out of the rubble and EMTs come into frame. They do something to Steve, but then look up at the man in black.

The announcer’s voice cuts in. “We have gotten confirmation from a hospital near the scene that Captain America is, in fact, dead.” The news caster hangs his head. “Jesus, Captain Steve Rogers has been confirmed dead at the scene.”

Bucky slips to the floor and the last thing he hears is Sam’s voice calling for the doctor. He comes to later to a light shining in his eyes. Squinting, he tries to turn away. “Dr. Barnes, can you hear me?”

Bucky blinks up at the doctor, then looks across the room at Sam, Darcy, and Phil. The look on their faces tells him that he didn’t dream it, Steve’s dead. “It’s true?”

Sam comes over to the bed as the doctor moves aside. Sam puts a comforting hand in his shoulder, but it does nothing to actually comfort him. “Yeah, the doctor that checked him was interviewed and said that Cap’s chest was completely crushed.”

Bucky tries to sit up, but can’t get his arms to work. “Where…what…”

“Right after the doc checked him a jet showed up and all of them got away.” Sam looks back over his shoulder and Phil nods. Bucky looks between the two men and he grabs the front of Sam’s shirt.

“Tell me!” Sam tears up and pulls Bucky’s hand away, holding it.

“We don’t know who the guy in black was, probably one of the people helping, but he got Steve’s body and Wanda on the jet and they escaped. The US Government has released a statement that since Cap was a fugitive, he won’t be receiving military honors, but the Avengers have sequestered themselves at the Compound and say they will be having a memorial for him.” Bucky could care less about any of that.

“What are you not telling me? How long have I been out?” Darcy comes to the bed and hands him his phone.

“You’ve been out since yesterday. Doc says that your body just kinda shut down for a little while.” She reaches over, tapping the screen of Bucky’s phone. “You have an email.”

Bucky breaks down, sobbing. They leave him alone and allow him time to get himself under control. Once he does, he turns the TV back on and all the stations are covering this story. Some debating whether or not Steve should be honored or not. Some talking to the doctor that checked him when he was pulled from the building. Some discussing who the man in black was. Bucky stops on a channel where the doctor is talking.

“In layman’s terms doctor, what did you see?” The newscaster looks gleeful in the drama of the story.

The doctor clears his throat and looks into the camera. “In layman’s terms, as you say, the entire chest cavity was crushed. In all my years practicing medicine, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. There was no pulse and I would venture to say that not only had both lungs been punctured by the crushed ribs, but most likely his heart was perforated as well.”

Bucky turns the TV off and reaches for the bin on the side table, retching into it. Of all people, Steve never deserved this. Trying to help others only to end up… Bucky can’t even think the words right now. Taking a drink, he looks down at his phone. He’s certain he’s not ready for it, but he clicks on his email and brings up the last thing that he’ll ever get from Steve Rogers.

_Bucky,_

_I don’t think your friends will get much out of this because it isn’t checking in like my other emails have been. I just want to talk, I guess. When I came out of the ice, a lot of people thought I would go through some kind of trauma, but I didn’t. I was overwhelmed, sure, but other than that, I just kind of took it in stride because what else was I going to do. Last night, since it happened, I took the bandage off of my arm. Everyone here knows, but no one outside of this place does. The night that I fought Tony, that night I suffered trauma. I didn’t realize what was happening, but the woman that helped me escape knew._

_My soul mark came in that night, Buck. What do you think of that? After nearly a hundred years and I got a soul mark. I didn’t understand a lot about them because the only reference I had was my ma. She and my da got theirs at the same time, so I just thought that’s how it worked, but according to my new friend, if you don’t suffer the same trauma it happens a little different. See, the mark I got, it doesn’t have eyes. Weird huh? Yeah, so the way it works is if you don’t suffer the same trauma as your soul mate, then the eyes don’t come in until you meet. Anyway, I’m just rambling now._

_So, tomorrow I’m going on a recon mission and before you freak out, I’m not going alone. The people that helped me need me and I can’t say no. Nothing dangerous is going to happen so you shouldn’t worry about me. Even if it did, you shouldn’t worry. I’m going to be okay. I just can’t sit by and let certain things happen when I knew I can help. No matter what, I’m going to be okay._

_Take care of yourself, Bucky and to answer a question from a few emails ago, yes, we are friends. I feel like I could tell you anything, but I won’t because I don’t want you in anymore danger. Tell those friends of yours that I don’t want anything else to hurt you._

_Don’t worry,_

_Steve_

Bucky drops his phone on the bed and sobs again. _‘Don’t worry.’_ He doesn’t have to worry anymore, no one can ever hurt Steve again. He can see Sam and Darcy watching from outside the room, but doesn’t want to deal with that right now. Looking down at his arm, he pulls the bandage off, staring at his arm. They’ve made sure to change the bandage when he’s asleep, but now he looks down at the mark. The trauma from his kidnapping caused his mark to come in. He can’t really tell what it is because it’s all fuzzy around the edges. The one thing that he can see he that it doesn’t have eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Steve can hear Wanda’s wails from his place on the bed. The jet will reach Wakanda soon and then they can tell her, but right now all he wants to do is comfort her. Okoye comes to stand next to the bed, placing her hand on his arm. “I know you want to go to her, but I will keep you under for the flight. You did sustain a few injuries, but nothing that the serum will not fix soon after we get home. You should also know that her soul mark has come in.”

Steve needs to move, but the drug that Shuri used in his suit to make him appear dead is doing its job and not allowing him to move. He aches for Wanda and knows that she’s going to be mad. But T’Challa was right, her reaction sold the whole thing. They needed her to react as she naturally would, but the fact that this was enough of a trauma for her soul mark to come in, yeah, she’s going to be pissed off.

The stretcher that Steve is on is taken to Shuri’s lab and T’Challa carries Wanda following behind. Once in the lab, Shuri goes straight to Steve, injecting him with something. Wanda watches from the bed that T’Challa places her on. “What are you doing?”

Shuri turns, seeing her friends pained face, going to her, she takes Wanda’s hand and both of them cry out in unison. T’Challa rushes over and when Steve can move again, he’s off the table and crowding Wanda. Both men freeze when the two young women stare at each other, shocked, confused, but smiling. Shuri grins down at their arms. “I supposed I will have to stop calling you ‘broken white girl.’”

Wanda snorts a laugh. “Or just call me your broken white girl.” Shuri looks down embarrassed and T’Challa looks like a rug has been pulled out from under him. His sister is 16, Wanda is only 17. This development changes everything.

Wanda looks up, smiling then sees Steve. “What the fuck?” Her eyes get huge and then angry. “YOU WEREN’T REALLY DEAD!?”

Steve starts to back away as her hands start to swirl in red mist. Shuri claps her hands because she’s going to get to watch her soul mate throw Steve around the lab. Steve looks around for help. T’Challa steps between them. “It was necessary for you to believe he died.”

Then Wanda glares over at Shuri. “You knew! You did this!”

Shuri runs around behind a clear partition. “It was his idea!” She points at her brother.

There’s a lot of explaining and apologizing. After dinner, Wanda curls up with Steve in their living room. “What happens now?”

Steve runs his hand up and down her arm. He’s actually surprised that she’s here and not with her new found soul mate. “Now, the world thinks I’m dead. They stop looking.” He leans in, kissing the top of her head. “But more importantly, you should not be sitting here with me. You have someplace more important to be right now.”

She doesn’t move for a few minutes, but does leave him to make her way to the lab eventually. Steve sits in the dark most of the night. It isn’t until almost dawn that Okoye comes to find him. Sitting in a chair opposite his position, she looks him over and he can’t help but ask, “What now?”

Her stare is penetrating. “Now, we rebuild your life. The one you should have had.”


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky spends his time teaching his classes, but also taking the document apart piece by piece, writing ethical papers on everything that’s wrong with what’s on the pages. Darcy keeps tabs on what’s happening in the dark web and if anything seems to be aimed at Bucky, but for the last three months, there’s been nothing. Bucky doesn’t seem to care much anymore, since Steve died. He can’t keep from checking his phone now and then, just to see if an email shows up. He knows that he’ll find nothing, but hope doesn’t seem to want to die.

On a normal Tuesday, in early spring, Bucky makes his way to his office. He doesn’t think that any of his students will show up for office hours, but he needs to make himself available. As he enters the building, he sees someone standing outside his office and thinks that maybe he’ll be able to get out of his head for a little while helping out a student, but when the person turns, he’s face to face with Black Widow.

“Dr. Barnes, I think we should talk.” She’s giving off that no nonsense, threatening posture that he just doesn’t have time or energy for. Since Steve died, he’s edgy more than he used to be. The only one that seems to calm him is Alpine. Knowing what he does about how the Avengers turned on Steve, he finds himself annoyed by her presence.

“Ms. Romanov, we have nothing to talk about.” She makes a step towards him that he knows, once upon a time, he would have backed away from, but he’s not that person anymore. That person lost himself on a table in the bowels of the UN building. He was further crushed under the heal of a friend’s death. Losing Steve has given him a new perspective on his life and what’s important. It’s why he can’t forgive Sam and Darcy completely yet. If he’s lost, how can he expect to let anyone else in?

Shoving around her, he unlocks his door and goes inside, slamming it in her face.

It opens a few seconds later and she leans on the doorframe, glaring at him. “I’ve killed people for less than that.”

He stands behind his desk, looking at a note from Sam. “Then go ahead.” He looks up. “Kill me and get it over with.”

Bucky is very aware of the look of sadness in his eyes. He sees it every morning when he steps into the bathroom. Darcy has suggested that he see someone, a professional, which he tried, but he just doesn’t have the desire to explain to someone how a man, that he never met, affected him so deeply. “You aren’t what I thought you’d be.”

“Well I learned three months ago that I’m just a means to an end for most people. I don’t really matter and the one person I think I might have mattered to is dead.” He lets his shoulders slump at that. “And you helped with that, so thanks.” It’s like a slap to the face and Bucky sees that it has the desired effect on her.

She sits in the chair on the other side of his desk. Bucky gets the impression that she’s sizing him up. “I’m here because I want to know what he told you.”

“Well it’s not your lucky day then. Enough people have been in my email and I’m not willing to share that with anyone else.” She seems surprised by his refusal.

“I could just hack your computer.” Bucky can’t really put his finger on it, but besides Black Widow being part of the group that turned their backs on Steve, she’s just cold and he doesn’t like her.

“You know, you keep saying things like that, but you’re not going to.” She smirks at him. “If you could just hack my computer and get to the stuff you want, then why haven’t you done it?” He finally sits in his chair. “Just stop trying to intimidate me and get on with whatever the fuck you’re going to do. And if you aren’t going to do anything, get the hell out of my office.”

The office door opens because Bucky didn’t know that his voice was carrying down the hall. Sam slips in behind her chair and puts a gun to her head. “I really think you should do what Dr. Barnes has suggested and get out before I do something I don’t want to do.”

“Well, Dr. Wilson, I was wondering where you were.” She stands, turning to Sam. “Do you really think I’ll give you a chance to pull the trigger?”

Bucky stands, slamming his hands down on his desk, making the other two people jump. “You two need to get out! Now! I don’t give a shit what you want. Just! Get! Out!” He flings himself into his chair, turning it to face the window. The voice that comes out of him next is quiet and broken. “Just leave.”

Bucky had hoped that he’d cried all the tears that he could, but today proves that he hasn’t. Through the tears, he sends a text to his TA, explaining that he’s sick and going home. Jerry texts back that he’ll take the class. Gathering his briefcase, tears still streaming down his cheeks, he pushes past the two people still staring at him in confusion, and heads back out to go home. 

When he gets home, he crawls into bed and sobs. Alpine snuggles up to him and Bucky cries into his fur. When he wakes later, he picks up his phone. It’s stupid, this idea that comes to him in the haze of tear induced sleep, but in the moment it doesn’t feel like a bad idea.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _BuckyBear83@gmail.com_ ](mailto:BuckyBear83@gmail.com)

_Subject: I miss you_

_Hey Steve,_

_I know you aren’t there. I know that all of this took you away, but I’m having a rough time today and this felt like the only way to let it out. It’s been three months. Three months since I watched you die and I don’t know what to do with all these helpless feelings. Things haven’t been the same with Sam and probably won’t ever be, but he’s still trying. I don’t have it in me yet to try. Darcy doesn’t work for me anymore because she was just a…what do you call it…plant to keep an eye on me._

_If you were here, I’m sure you’d be laughing because I’ve been writing ethical paper after ethical paper about the Accords. Taking each section and writing why it goes against everything believed to be decent. Sam says I’m not being watched anymore, but I know better than that. I can feel it. Eyes and ears on me. Today Black Widow came to see me. Told me that if I didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d just hack my computer. I told her to go ahead. I’m not sure I care._

_Want to hear something funny? The kidnapping and torture brought out my mark. Yeah, can you believe that? It’s weird though because it came in distorted. As the weeks go by it gets a little more clear, but I still can’t really tell what it is. It doesn’t have eyes either. I feel sorry for the guy that is my soul mate. I’m not in any shape for that right now. Not sure I ever will be. Something just feels missing._

_I miss emailing with you. I never got to say thank you for calling that day. It meant a lot to have you put yourself at risk because I’d been hurt. I wish I could have helped more. Helped you stay safe. I feel like I failed you in some way. I hope wherever you are, it’s peaceful._

_I miss you,_

_Bucky_

Bucky is aware that it’s strange to send an email to a dead man, but something about it feels right. He accepts that it might not be the last time he does it and, for now, he’s okay with that.


	16. Chapter 16

Steve steps into the lab to find Shuri and Wanda giggling over something on the screen. He’d finished his training with T’Challa and Okoye and found a message that Shuri needed to see him. She looks up. “Ah, Steven, you have a message.”

Steve freezes, not sure what she means. “I don’t…”

“It would seem that your friend reached out.” Steve stumbles to the screen and she pulls up the email. He gives a sad smile at the account name. He doesn’t know that tears are tracking down his face. “Perhaps we should leave you.”

Steve opens the email and starts reading. Bucky sounds so lost and alone. When he gets to the part about Natasha, he wants to break something. Leaning heavily on the work bench, he lets himself cry for a friend that he can’t reach out to. Wanda comes over, rubbing his back. “What can we do?”

Steve shakes his head, wiping his face. “There’s nothing we can do. If anyone finds out I’m alive, everything gets dangerous for him again.”

Shuri grins. “But…”

Steve looks up sharply. “No, he was taken once, I won’t put him in danger again.” He leaves the lab, heading to shower and to get something to eat.

Wanda looks at Shuri and they start grinning. “You need to send a new email, do you not?” Wanda nods furiously.

Steve heads to the council chamber after he eats to talk with T’Challa about his living situation. He hasn’t spoken to Wanda about it because her place is here, in the palace, with Shuri, but Steve doesn’t feel right about being here. He wants his own space where he can start to figure things out for himself. The training he’s doing is good, he feels more centered and capable, but he wants to have a home.

It takes very little convincing on Steve’s part to get what he wants. He leaves the council chamber feeling like they knew he was going to ask. The following morning, Wanda goes with him when they take him to the place they prepared. They did know and had been working on it for the last month. The hut looks like what it is, a hut, but a little larger than the ones sprinkled around, but when he goes inside, it’s like walking into a different world. The floors are polished wood, the kitchen is updated like a fancy Brooklyn apartment, the bedroom contains a bed large enough for a super solder plus and the whole place is tech heavy.

“This is more than I hoped for.” Steve looks around in awe.

“Well, it is not for free, Steven.” He follows Shuri out back and finds a pen with goats. “These are your charges and you will be responsible for their well-being.”

Wanda gets the giggles at that. “You have pet goats.”

Steve gives her a mock glare, then grins. “I think I’m going to enjoy this.”

“And you will be expected at the palace daily for your training.” Okoye gives the barest of smiles.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky stares at his screen unsure what to do. He checked his email this morning for work and there was an email from the account that belonged to Steve. He can’t bring himself to click on it. Leaning down, he picks up Alpine and sits him on the desk. He stares lazily at Bucky, swishing his tail back and forth. “What should I do?” The cat, of course, doesn’t answer, but keeps staring. Bucky reaches over, scratching under Alpine’s chin, getting a louder purr.

The cat looks up at the ceiling and just stares at nothing. Bucky follows his gaze, huffing. “I hate it when you do that. I always feel like there’s something there I can’t see and I’m about to be attacked.” That gets a casual blink. “Alright, so open the email?” That gets another blink. “Right, open the damn thing.”

_To:_ [ _BuckyBear83@gmail.com_ ](mailto:BuckyBear83@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_Subject: Reaching out_

_Dear Dr. Barnes,_

_Hello, this is Wanda Maximoff. First, let me apologize because I’m sure seeing this email was difficult. I checked Steve’s account and found your last email, so second; I apologize for reading your private thoughts. I seem to be apologizing a lot. I would never share what you wrote with anyone, so please don’t feel embarrassed._

_I can tell you that Steve considered you a good and true friend. Besides myself, I’m not sure he thought he had many of those left. I must tell you that it is hard to write about him in the past tense. Steve was a good man, but I’m sure you knew that already or you wouldn’t have helped him. Your words and thoughts on the Accords were invaluable to him. Your words of encouragement meant more._

_I want you to keep emailing if that’s what helps you. I want you to know that I will continue to check his account and if you want to talk to someone who feels the loss as much as you, I’m here. Somehow, I think he knows that you care and I think he would like it if you wrote to him when you needed to. He was the kind of person that wanted to help and even in this, I think he’d like that he’s helping you._

_Your friend,_

_Wanda_

Bucky sits back in his chair and doesn’t bother wiping away the tears. He’d thought about Wanda Maximoff often considering she was there that day. Wherever she is, she’s safe and that counts for something. It means that Steve made sure she was taken care of even if he couldn’t be there to do it himself. Maybe it’s not Steve emailing him, but maybe it’s someone that can understand why he feels this hole. A world without Captain America is a sad place, but a world without Steve Rogers is empty.

After everything he did, putting himself in danger the way he did to shine a light on something so horribly wrong that was happening, and he’s still being dragged through the muck for standing up for what is right. The Avengers had their memorial service, but nothing else has come out. They just keep moving forward and seem to have forgotten about him. Bucky knows that he’ll never forget about him. Everything he did, right down to being tortured, was for Steve. He’ll never regret anything that he did to help a man dedicated to doing what was right.

Sitting back again, he lets himself cry. It feels like he’s done that a lot lately and Alpine climbs into his lap for comfort. Everything feels wrong these days: teaching his classes, grading their work, getting up in the morning, going to bed at night. It’s just all wrong. He found himself standing outside his building at the university last week, just looking at the door, wondering if it was all worth it. That’s where Sam had found him and tried to get him to talk, but Bucky doesn’t know how to make someone understand that he just didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to keep going on this path that no longer makes sense, so he shrugged Sam’s concern off and went in to work.

Now, maybe he has an outlet for that. Maybe he can talk to Steve through email and when Wanda emails back, it will give him…something. Hitting reply, Bucky wipes his eyes and starts typing.

_To:_ [ _IceIceBaby18@gmail.com_ ](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)

_From:_ [ _BuckyBear83@gmail.com_ ](mailto:BuckyBear83@gmail.com)

_Subject: Friends_

_Dear Wanda,_

_Thank you for the email. Yes, it was a surprise and a little painful, but I supposed if anyone was going to write to me, I’m glad it’s you. I know how much you meant to Steve. Even if he never ‘said’ it, I know he felt it. I’ve thought about you and wondered if you were still safe and whether or not you were doing okay._

_I can’t get this hole in my heart to heal up. My friends try to get me to go out, to be out there, but I’m not feeling it. I don’t know if you know or not, but I spoke to Steve before he died. He found out about my kidnapping and called to make sure I was okay. Is there a way to be okay?_

_I know you can’t tell me where you are, but if these Accords are ever struck down, as they should be, and you come back, I hope to finally meet you. I’m still writing ethical responses to them and publishing what I can. I’m still working for Steve, I guess. I’m still trying to make it okay._

_I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life anymore. Everything feels wrong and out of focus right now. Will that pass, I wonder? I guess only time will tell. The people that are helping you, I hope they know how special you are. You reached out to a stranger when you didn’t have to and that means everything to me._

_If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you too._

_Thank you,_

_Bucky_

He hits send and before he can stand to go for more coffee, there’s a buzz for his door. He doesn’t really want to deal with anyone right now and knowing Sam, that’s probably who’s waiting. Bucky is trying with Sam and Darcy, but he just doesn’t feel like he knows them at all anymore. They didn’t think they could trust him and that’s what hurts the most. Now every time Sam goes to a ‘conference’ Bucky wonders if it’s really something to do with his classes or a mission. Taking a deep breath, he hits the buzzer. “Yeah?”

“Hey man, it’s me and I brought someone that wants to talk to you and I think you should listen.” Hanging his head, he considers who it might be and if he even cares what they have to say. Sighing, he decides that their 15 year friendship does count for something. Hitting the buzzer, he unlocks the door and heads to the kitchen.

Putting food down for Alpine, he turns to lean on the counter as Sam comes around the corner with Natasha Romanov. Bucky starts to lose his cool and Sam puts his hands up to placate his friend. “What the hell did you bring her here for?”

“Just listen. I think you’re going to want to hear this.” Bucky fixes himself a cup of coffee and sits at the table. He doesn’t offer them any, but Sam goes to fix a couple of mugs anyway. Bucky just glares at them both.

Alpine finishes his food and comes to the table, jumping up and looking at Natasha critically. Sam puts the mug in front of her and she examines the cat. “He’s really beautiful, but I feel like he’d take my hand off if I tried to pet him.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “He’s a good judge of character.” She quirks an eyebrow at his meaning.

Sam reaches over, petting the cat. “I guess I’m still okay then.”

Bucky doesn’t look up from his mug. “You’re just a habit.” Sam starts to snap back, but Bucky shakes his head. “You have about 10 minutes before I throw you out, so you better get to whatever the fuck this is.” Alpine comes over, climbing down into Bucky’s lap and turning so he can see the other people. Bucky pets him and appreciates that the cat looks like he’s guarding Bucky. 

Nat jumps right in. “I’ve been reading your papers on the Accords and you’re going to draw more attention to yourself if you keep it up.”

Bucky barks a laugh, but it’s a malicious thing with no humor. Leaning forward on the table, wrapping an arm around Alpine to keep him in place, he glares at her. “You think I give a damn what anyone tries to do to me at this point. I tried to help a friend and I’m still trying to help him which is more than I can say for you.”

It’s like another slap to the face, like in his office. “Okay, I know you’re right. I know if we hadn’t done what we did, he’d still be alive, but we were running a con and he got in the way. Instead of trusting us, he went off half-cocked.”

Bucky stands abruptly, pulling Alpine into his arms, causing his chair to fall over. Sam jumps up to stop him from going over the table to throttle her. Holding up his hands to tell Sam to back off, he turns on her. “Of all the people that should have been part of your con, it was him! And this is all fine to say now that he’s no longer here! But my level of trust in you or that little group of yours is gone. You betrayed him in the worst possible way and he’s gone because of you!” It’s all too hard. Bucky just can’t process the grief that he’s feeling and coming in here, acting like somehow it was Steve’s fault that he got himself killed is more than his heart can take.

She doesn’t stand, but does give him a withering glare and if he was anyone else, having gone through what he has, he might cower, but that isn’t his style anymore. “You know that’s the second time I’ve let you insult me without retaliation. I’m getting a little tired of it.”

Bucky laughs. “You think I give a damn how you feel? You think I have any fear of what you can do to me? You came to the wrong house, lady if you think I give a fuck if your delicate sensibilities have been offended.”

She looks over at Sam, who shrugs. “I told you he wouldn’t care what your reasons were. He blames you for the death of his friend and that isn’t something I can change.”

She points at their coffee. “Sit down, both of you, and I’ll try to explain what’s really happening.”

Bucky knows that as soon as this little charade is over, he’s going to be sending another email to Wanda. Bucky puts Alpine on the counter and leans against it. He’ll listen because whatever she says may be something that Wanda can use. “Okay, when we were presented with the Accords, we knew that there was more to it. We didn’t know what it was, so we had to play the game.” She looks off at nothing. “We didn’t know that Steve was going to break through the firewalls of Ross’s office and pull the whole thing. We were only given part of them.” Bucky smiles softly into his cup because Steve was always smarter than anyone thought. There’s a sadness too though because the people he trusted the most never got that and he only knows it through emails and one phone call. “We had to appear to be going along with it if we wanted to get the real story, but then Steve had to go and contact you and put it out there for the media.”

“What the hell did you expect him to do? Did you even know him?” Bucky just doesn’t get it and Sam watches his friend defend a man that he didn’t even know.

She doesn’t speak for a long time, and when she does, it’s quiet and remorseful. “I’m thinking we didn’t really know him at all. We knew Cap and he was a good leader.”

“Behind Cap was a man. A good man. A man you should have taken the time to get to know.” She’s nodding, but that only makes him angrier and he throws his cup into the sink, letting it shatter against the metal side. Sam jumps, not having expected it and it even makes Natasha flinch.

“I know that now that it’s too late. We’re still working within the confines of the Accords to try and undo them. Tony didn’t want to fight him that night, but he knew, like we all did, that some of the agents on duty that night were working for Ross.” She looks over at Sam.

Bucky looks at him too. “Is that the guy that took me?”

Sam nods. “Yeah, he’s the…”

“I know who he is. That means that this goes way up the food chain.” Natasha nods at that. “That means that he’s got some heavy hitters behind him.”

She sighs. “It means that he could come for you again if you keep publishing.”

“Then he’s just going to have to keep coming for me because I’m not stopping until I’ve said everything I mean to say.” Bucky’s voice goes quiet. “it’s what Steve would have done and someone has to keep fighting for him.”

Natasha looks over at Sam. “I didn’t believe you when you told me he was stubborn as Steve.”

“I told you. Once he gets his teeth into something, he’s not going to let it go.” Sam looks over at his friend, pleased and proud.

“Then I think it’s time we bring him in.” Bucky’s head whips up. “I think it’s time you start working with us.” 

He kicks them out soon after and goes straight to his computer. Bringing the email account back up, he tries to formulate what he wants to say. He doesn’t know Wanda, but she’s got to be smart and Steve trusted her, so he can too. Clicking compose, he lets his fingers fly across the keys.

_To:[IceIceBaby18@gmail.com](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)_

_From:[BuckyBear83@gmail.com](mailto:BuckyBear83@gmail.com)_

_Subject: Strange Visit_

_Dear Wanda,_

_I just had a visit from one of my friends and he brought Black Widow with him. She came to see me earlier at my office and I left her there. I didn’t care to know what she wanted, but she came with a friend. I lost my temper because they talk about Steve like he wasn’t smart enough to be part of their super hero group. It’s clear that they didn’t know anything about him as a person. Did they know you? Did they even try to know you?_

_Anyway, they are concerned that if I keep writing about the Accords that the guy that took me will come for me again. I told them I don’t care because Steve wouldn’t have stopped pushing and I won’t either. I know who’s running this whole thing now and if he comes for me again, he might not find what he expects._

_I’m going to keep fighting for Steve and what’s right in this situation, but you need to know that the group didn’t mean for Steve to die, they didn’t think that he would. They just didn’t trust him enough to tell him what they were doing. I’m not making excuses because I’ll never trust them and think they are just as guilty as the people that blew up the building that killed Steve, but if I can get in and get answers, I’m going to._

_As I figure out what’s going on, I’ll let you know. I don’t know who you are with, but maybe they can…hell…I don’t know. I just need to talk to someone that understands where I’m coming from and I feel like that’s you._

_Take care,_

_Bucky_


	18. Chapter 18

Steve turns from the goat pen when he hears someone coming. It’s been three months since he came to his little farm and each day he finds something else to love about it. Three of the females are close to giving birth and he’s really looking forward to having babies. The first few days he read everything he could about the care and tending of goats and found within the first few weeks that they could be just as social as dogs. Sometimes when he’s not paying attention, one of them will follow him into the house and get on the sofa.

“You seem to be settled in quite well, Steven.” Steve smiles up at Nakia from where he’s kneeling next to one of the soon to be mothers.

“It’s a good life. I take care of them and myself, then I go to the palace and get beat up every day.” He smiles brightly when she laughs.

She looks down and sees that his mark isn’t covered anymore. “You wear it proudly, I see.”

“There’s not much chance that I’ll meet whoever it is, but it’s a reminder that things are still good.” She takes his arm carefully, looking at the mark.

“It is better than a fish, I suppose.” That causes him to bellow with laughter. “It would be nice to see the eyes though.”

“Yeah, but I don’t expect that to happen.” She looks up at him, searching for something. “What brings you here?”

“I think we should talk.” They stroll towards the lake and sit by the water. “You said that you would serve this country that has adopted you.” Steve nods, waiting to see where this is going. “But you are believed to be dead to the outside world.” Again, he nods. “So, if there is a chance that you will have to travel outside these borders, you will need to not be recognized. Of course the hair and beard are doing much to help that.”

Steve laughs and reaches up to touch his hair. Today he has it tied up with a leather string. He hasn’t cut it since he came here and it’s at his shoulders now. Not many people know that the serum causes his hair and nails to grow faster. Soon, it will be to the middle of his back. He likes it though. It’s definitely not hair that Captain America would have. “Are you saying that you don’t like my hair? I think I’m offended.”

She reaches over, running her hand over the ponytail. “I am saying no such thing. I think it suits you.” She looks out over the water. “I am saying we have to find a way to cover you so that no one sees that you are alive.”

“I’m feeling a little unsteady with this conversation, Nakia.” He’s staring off at the water and watching the light play on the surface. He’s painted this many times since coming to live here.

“Steven, I was chosen by my tribe to serve the royal family. I was trained by the Dora to guard Wakanda.” He looks over, surprised, but also not. “When I became unsettled with that life, I was taken and trained to be an operative for my country. It meant that I had to learn more languages than I already knew and had to learn to blend in to whatever culture I found myself. I learned to move differently, behave differently, so that no one would connect me to my home country.”

“You’re saying that just by the way I move, people would know that it’s me.” She smiles, nodding. “How do we fix that?”

“When you come to the palace to train, I would like for you to make time for me as well. I would like to help you undo what you have always known.” They both stare out at the water.

“Alright, but what about my face. I’m pretty recognizable.” She giggles, pushing his arm.

“Shuri is working on that.”

“Well that can’t be safe.” Nakia laughs so hard she starts to tear up. 

A few days later, he finds himself triumphant against Okoye, who is smiling delightedly at him from the floor. “You have done well in your training, Steven.”

“I had a good teacher.” She takes his offered hand and the guards around them applaud his effort. He blushes furiously at their graciousness.

“This country adores you and your little witch.” Steve laughs and Okoye waits for the response that always comes.

“I would say she is Shuri’s witch, wouldn’t you?” They leave the gym and he’s met by Nakia.

They make their way outside and Steve can’t help but to give her a curious glance. “You carry yourself with defiance.”

The laugh that erupts from him is unexpected. “Yes, I suppose I do. It comes from years of having to fight.”

“Yes, but we do not always go into a situation to fight and yet, that is what you expect all the time.” She stands in front of him, seeming relaxed and unbothered. “Do I look like I am ready to fight you?”

“No.” As much as he tries, he can’t relax.

“But do you suspect that I am?”

“Yes, absolutely.” She nods and Steve isn’t lying. He knows that if she came at him, it would be with all the training she’s received over her lifetime.

“Let’s go into the city. I want to watch you with the people.” They walk for hours and he converses with many different people that smile welcomingly. When they return to the palace, she turns to him. “You have to unlearn being a soldier. You are no longer a soldier, you are an operative.” Steve knows that it’s clear in his posture that he is a soldier, but he’s no longer that, he wants to learn to be something else.

They spend weeks and she makes him think about how he walks. Instead of seeming to storm into any situation, she talks to him about how to be on guard without letting anyone else know that he is. She corrects his posture repeatedly, until he finds himself sore not just from training, but from changing everything he knew about himself. It becomes not just his physical that he needs to change, but his mental awareness.

He spends his days in an orderly routine: goats, training, more training, goats, thinking about Bucky. Every day he thinks about sending an email to the man, letting him know that he’s here, that he’s alive, but he knows that he can’t. The man could still be under surveillance and Steve can’t put him in anymore danger. He misses him. He misses reading his words and now that he knows the man’s voice, he misses that too.

Soaking in the over-sized tub months later, he’s surprised when Wanda walks into the bathroom and sits on the floor facing him. He starts to jump and cover, but then he remembers Nakia’s words. ‘No matter the situation, Steven, you must always appear unthreatening.’

“I have a feeling this is a test.” She giggles and smiles at him.

“Perhaps.” Steve leans his head back. “You are overwhelmed?”

“Yeah, I think so. I finally got comfortable in this body and now I’m having to undo everything I got comfortable with.” She’s nodding. “How are things at the palace?”

“Things are going well.” He knows she’s got more to say, so he waits. “I wanted to ask your opinion on something.”

“Okay.” He looks over and she seems, bashful. He really hopes she doesn’t ask about her relationship with Shuri, he has very little experience with anything like that.

“You know about the beliefs of Wakanda?” He nods. “There is a ritual that Shuri is offering.” Steve blinks, but doesn’t give anything else away. “It would mean I am a citizen of this country and my family would become part of this Ancestral Plane that is talked about. It would mean I could talk to my parents and my brother. It would mean that I am Wakandan.”

“What is holding you back?” He’s curious because during training he’s heard Okoye talk about this belief that being Wakandan is more than just living here. He’s also curious because it’s a big step to change a person’s nationality. However, Wanda’s soul mate is here, so it seems a natural step.

“I want you to do this too.” Steve starts to speak, but she holds up her hand. “When is the last time you felt like you belonged anywhere? And I don’t mean part of the team, I mean really belonged.”

Steve thinks about that. “I guess when my Ma was still alive.”

“Don’t you think it’s time you had a home?”


	19. Chapter 19

Bucky doesn’t feel at ease walking into the Compound. There are eyes on him, but he follows Natasha and Sam anyway. Getting him out of his apartment with everything he would need and Alpine, was not an easy feat. Even though no one seems to be monitoring his electronic activity, they do still think he’s being watched. That alone was enough for him to agree to this. He told the administration at NYU that there was a death in his family and he had to return to Indiana. They gave him a leave of absence and moved his TA into the teaching position for the next several months. As he makes his way into what appears to be a conference room, Darcy his sitting at the end of the table, fingers flying over the touch screen. 

“Ah, there you are.” She gets up, hesitates, then comes to hug him. “I was hoping you’d agree to this.”

“I don’t know what I’m agreeing to.” The voice that interrupts isn’t a welcome one, but Bucky has to trust that Sam wouldn’t bring him into something where he’d actually kill anyone. Tony Stark, in Bucky’s mind, is public enemy number one if for no other reason that he caused Steve trauma.

“You’re agreeing to help us make everyone understand exactly what these Accords are.” Tony Stark enters the room exactly like Bucky expects, with arrogance and flare.

“Would have been nice if you’d figured that out before and not attacked Steve.” Tony looks taken aback by the words.

Natasha leans into Tony. “I told you he was mouthy.” That is offensive and it takes everything in Bucky to not walk out, go get his cat, and go home. Somehow the idea of being watched isn’t so bad anymore.

“Yes, mouthy, but the disrespect is palpable.” He looks over at Bucky. “Do you even care who I am?”

Bucky sits down, putting his feet up on the table, and glares. “Not even a little bit.”

Darcy can’t help the cackle that comes out of her mouth and Sam is trying very hard not to laugh. Phil Coulson comes into the room and makes a beeline for Bucky, ignoring everyone else. “Dr. Barnes, it’s really good to see you.”

Bucky shakes his hand, but doesn’t get up. Whatever these people want, they’ve convinced Phil, Sam and Darcy to be part of it, so he’s willing to hear them out, but he doesn’t have to like them. “Phil, I’m surprised to see you here.” Bucky looks around the room accusingly and Phil follows his gaze. He gets the impression from Phil’s look that he’s not really happy about being here either.

“Yes well, anything that clears Captain Rogers’s name is something I’m game for.” He sits next to Bucky and slides a folder over. “They’ve been keeping tabs on you.” He indicates the Avengers at the other end of the table. Tony sits, staring at Bucky like he’s trying to figure him out. “You’ve made your way through most of the Accords, but they need you to finish what you started.”

“I was going to do that anyway, so why am I here?” Natasha starts to speak, but Tony puts his hand out to stop her.

“You’re here because you were the last person to talk to Cap, except Wanda, before all this went to hell.” Bucky snorts causing Tony to give back the glare that Bucky gave him earlier.

“This all went to hell when you didn’t tell him what you were up to. This whole thing is on all of you.” Bucky opens the file and finds his emails to and from Steve and the papers he’s published about the ethical dilemma of the Accords.

Tony leans forward in his chair. “The one thing we all know about Cap is that he’s not good with stealth and lying. Oh he had other qualities that made him useful…” Sam knows what’s going to happen before Tony can even finish and Phil just sits back because this is about to go sideways.

“You arrogant son of a bitch!” Bucky’s up and out of his chair and headed to the door. “I’m going to need a ride back to the city. I’m going to get my cat and we’re leaving.” Tony looks on, seemingly unbothered, Phil looks like he wants to murder someone, Sam and Darcy are frozen in place, but Natasha looks like she’s…human.

“Tony!” Natasha jumps, slapping Tony in the back of the head, and runs out of the room. “Dr. Barnes, wait!”

Tony looks over the table at the other three in the room. “Well that could have gone better. He’s a little hot tempered, don’t you think?”

“Mr. Stark, all due respect, but you are a grade A asshole and if we don’t get him to agree to this, we might not have a leg to stand on.” Phil is up and out of the room before any response can be made.

Bucky stops at the lift and that’s where Natasha catches up with him. “You need to hear us out.”

“I don’t have to do anything. I befriended a man that you only see as an asset and I’ve been kidnapped and tortured for information on that man. I watched him die along with the rest of the world and you want me to sit in a room with a group of people that put him in that position.” He presses the button on the lift again, but nothing happens.

“The lift isn’t going to come because FRIDAY won’t let it.” Bucky looks at her, confused and angry.

“Who the fuck is FRIDAY?” The voice that speaks makes Bucky jump because it seems to come from nowhere.

‘I’m the AI that runs the Compound and the lives of the Avengers, Dr. Barnes. It’s a pleasure, sir.’

Bucky huffs. “Can you tell me if my cat is okay where I left him?”

The voice speaks again and seems to be amused. ‘Alpine is quite well, sir and seems to be looking for a way to reach the top of the refrigerator.’ 

Bucky chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” He just wants to get out of here. That lost feeling that started months ago hasn’t receded. He’s not where he wants to be and this situation isn’t helping that.

Natasha takes his elbow, leading him into a darkened file room. “Dr. Barnes, it may not seem like it, but Steve was our friend. If we thought, for even a second, that he was going to die, we would have made sure that didn’t happen.”

Bucky goes to the window, looking out at the Compound grounds. “I don’t trust any of you. For all I know, you’re still part of this bigger conspiracy. And calling Steve your friend is overreaching a little too much.”

Phil speaks up then. “If I thought that they were, I wouldn’t be here. In fact, I’d be trying to find a way to burn this place to the ground.”

Bucky turns, tears in his eyes. “He was a good man and you all need to stop thinking of him as Cap. He was Steve.” Phil gives a sad smile and nods. “I’m going to do this, but I would suggest that I don’t have any contact with Stark. Without his Iron Man suit I know I could kick his ass and he’s making me want to really bad.”

“I think we can do that.”

Bucky returns to the conference room with visions of Steve running through his head. Stark tries to talk to him, but he just puts a hand up and points at the door. Natasha drags the billionaire from the room and Bucky can hear him saying something about owning everything and being able to go where he wants. Sam and Darcy don’t talk to him, but he can feel their eyes on him. Maybe at some point, he’ll forgive them for lying by omission, but today isn’t that day. Phil watches as he uses the holographic screen to move through the document and bring up other writings that he’s going to reference. At some point, they bring in food and Bucky absently eats as he works. 

Around 3 in the morning, he goes back to his room and puts more food down for the cat. Falling into bed, he thinks that he might like doing this kind of research, instead of teaching. He’s good at it, but he also has to acknowledge that he’s so invested because of Steve. He knows, logically, that changing his life and leaving teaching behind isn’t a good idea right now because he’s still grieving. When he’s worked through the process he’ll revisit this, but knowing that he doesn’t have to go to his office or teach any classes is comforting.


	20. Chapter 20

There’s something different about Wanda when she completes the ritual. Something that gives her a more settled look, so Steve agrees to it as well. It’s been three months of planning and there are more people in attendance than Steve thought there would be. Each of the tribes has sent representatives and the only one not in full agreement with what’s happening is M’Baku’s tribe. When Wanda’s ritual was done, Steve remembers the look of peace on her face. She’s home. Steve wants that for himself.

The day that it’s Steve’s turn, he stands in the water, looking up at the cliffs full of people. The villages have sent people as well and those that live near Steve are in the majority. He’s come to love and appreciate them and they have welcomed him with open arms, so when T’Challa comes to him, hand on his arm, Steve smiles at the kindness being shown to two people without a home. With practice from Nakia, Steve now speaks Wakandan, but still not as good as Wanda. He’s getting better and now when he talks to anyone from his adoptive home, he speaks in their dialect for practice, but also to honor his new friends.

“Are you ready, Steven?” Steve nods, removing his shirt and letting the attendants draw sigils on his chest and back. When they finish, T’Challa leads him to the shallow pool of water. Sitting he takes the cup offered by the holy man of Wakanda. T’Challa kneels with him. “Do not fight it, let it take you. No harm will come to you in this place.”

Steve finishes the drink and smiles. “I trust you.” He gets a smile from the king and then his eyes roll back into his head and they lower him into the water.

Steve comes to in a field of lush green grass overlooking a cliff. Beyond that is a blue sea. There’s a woman standing at the cliff’s edge, with her back to Steve. Long blond hair flows down her back and kicks up with the movement of the wind. Steve smiles because this place feels good, familiar. When she turns, Steve sucks in a breath. “Ma?”

She opens her arms and he runs to her, taking her slight body into his arms, and hugging her close. “My son, it has been such a long time.” She backs away, spreading their arms wide. “Let me look at you.” The light lilt of her laughter fills him in a way that he doesn’t remember ever feeling. “My you have changed.” He wonders what she thinks of his beard and long hair. It’s at the middle of his back now and this morning, before the ritual, Wanda had come to braid it for him. Sarah Rogers smiles so brightly at him and it makes his heart ache with how much he missed her.

“Ma? What is this place?” He studies her face and there isn’t a wrinkle or the hollowed out look from her illness.

“Well, I supposed you might call it heaven, but your new family calls it the Ancestral Plane.” She tugs him toward the cliff. “This is a cliff near the village that I grew up in. This is the Ireland that I remember.” She turns, putting her arm around his waist. “Come, they’re waiting for us.”

He hesitates, but trusts her, so they step off the cliff together and into something more like what he expected. More what Wanda had tried to describe to him. There are trees dotting the landscape and everything has a purple/silver glow to it. There are black panthers in the trees and on the ground, mostly just lying about in a relaxed state. One gets up and as it stalks towards them, instead of seeing a threat, Steve feels safe. As the panther gets closer, it morphs into a man. He has a kind face, eyes that twinkle, and a bright smile. Steve likes him immediately.

“Ah, Sarah, you have returned and you bring your son to us.” The man embraces his Ma and she’s smiling kindly at the man. To Steve’s surprise, his Ma starts to speak in Wakandan with the man. Turning to Steve, the man offers his hand, but Steve knows this man, can feel it in his soul. Crossing his arms over his chest, fists to his shoulders, Steve bows to him. “You are a good man, Steven. Although, I knew this already from your mother.”

Steve looks at his Ma and can feel the tears. “Now, we’ll have none of that, my son.” She wipes the tears away. “We have limited time and you must hear what T’Chaka has to say.”

“What is this place?” Steve looks around and all of the panthers are staring at him.

“This is what comes after.” T’Chaka looks around, smiling content. “I left before I was ready, but my son and daughter are flourishing, so I cannot be too saddened.” He takes Steve’s arms at the bicep and stares deeply into the super soldier’s soul. “You have gone through much, but what my son offers you is not just a place to call home, he offers you family. When you return, you will be part of the royal family of Wakanda. Those things that burden you will be less because others will help you carry what was always too heavy for your shoulders.”

Sarah takes his other arm. “Steven, you question whether you’re doing the right thing, but you must trust what your heart is telling you. You have always done what you believed to be right, but this isn’t something that’s concrete, this is spiritual and you haven’t had that for much too long.”

“The great warriors, the great kings of my country come here when their time is done in the mortal world, but that does not mean that we were perfect.” Steve looks down bashfully. “Mistakes are part of the mortal world, it is something you must live with knowing that mistakes are human. You must be the best human you can be.” T’Chaka reaches up, cupping Steve’s face and Sarah squeezes his arm. “When you return, you will return not as Steve Rogers, Captain America, but Steve Rogers, the White Wolf. Wear this name proudly. Wear it with honor. And when your time comes, you will return here with the great protectors of Wakanda and find your place with us.” He turns to the others and they’ve all made their way to Steve, lying in the grass, staring at him in a way that feels like a welcome.

“Does this mean that I won’t be connected to what I was before?” It’s the only thing that weighs on Steve heart.

Sarah looks at T’Chaka and her friend nods that she should explain. She steps from Steve’s side and stands next to her friend. “Steven, I will always be a part of who you are. Being accepted here,” She motions around her, “does not change where you came from. When you return here, when your mortal life is done, I will be waiting for you. I called it heaven because that’s my frame of reference, but it is all the same.” She smiles at him, resting her hand on the same cheek that T’Chaka touched earlier. “There is only acceptance and understanding here.” Her eyes twinkle in the strange otherworldly glow of this place. “You must give up what is expected of you and become what you need to be.”

Steve hugs his mother, holding her as close as he can. T’Chaka offers a hug, which Steve accepts gratefully. “Go and know that you are welcome here.”

Steve comes to, leaping from the water in a crouch, water being flung in all directions, and a feral look on his face. The crowd sings a song that sounds like triumph. Still in his crouch, Steve turns, facing T’Challa. “We welcome White Wolf into our family.”

His body relaxes and Steve looks up at the cliffs, hundreds of people cheer and sing for him. Ramonda comes over, embracing him tightly. “You are one with us now, my son.”

Something changes in Steve after that. The weights of his past life fall away and being a Wakandan takes hold of his soul. This is his home, these are his people, and his duty is to protect them. Unlike the mantle of Captain America, this one pieces him together while the other one pulled him apart. His bearing was military before, but it’s noble now.

The days that follow Steve finds more and more gifts left at his hut. He doesn’t know who leaves them, but each one is treated with reverence. He doesn’t feel out of place walking in the villages or markets anymore. His fellow countrymen look at him with new eyes and for the first time he sees himself reflected back. He’s found home.


	21. Chapter 21

Bucky is working late into the night, trying to get the last of the Accords analyzed and his thoughts about the unethical view point written. Today his arm itches. He’s careful to keep it covered under long sleeves or a bandage. Natasha has tried to ask, but he growls and she lets it go. On this night it won’t settle, so he tugs the bandage away to see why it feels prickly. What he finds startles him. Since it showed up it’s been faded and blurry, but now it’s whole, except for the eyes. He’s mesmerized by it now that he can tell for sure what it is. Running his fingers over it, he wonders about the other person, what they might be like.

Hanging his head, he sighs because he’s not sure that he ever wants the eyes to fill in. He doesn’t tell anyone, but through the few emails and the one phone call, Bucky developed feelings for Steve Rogers. He didn’t mean to, but now, all the months after the man’s death, he still thinks about him like he’s just on the other end of a computer. He doesn’t hear anyone come into the room and jumps when the voice speaks.

“Mine came in the Christmas of ’91. It didn’t have eyes for a couple of decades. I started to give up hope that it ever would, then Virginia “Pepper” Potts walked into my office and shook my hand. I didn’t tell her for a long time and she didn’t bring it up either.” He sits in the chair across the table from Bucky. “We were stupid about it.”

Bucky doesn’t see the point in trying to cover it now, since Stark has seen it, everyone will know. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

Tony nods and looks up at the ceiling. “Was the kidnapping the catalyst?”

Bucky has no idea why the man is being nice to him or maybe he’s just trying to gain the upper hand. “Yeah, probably more the torture, but yeah.”

Tony hums and leans on the table. “You seem to have some understanding of Cap that I don’t have. We were never going to be family, like he probably needed.” Bucky doesn’t tell him that Steve thought of them that way. He doesn’t tell him that the fight that night caused Steve’s mark to come in. He could if he wanted to hurt the man, but Steve wouldn’t want him to know.

“That’s why he turned to me because he didn’t have anyone else.” Bucky gives a half shrug. “I didn’t mind. I didn’t even mind that they took me if it was going to help Steve.”

“Why don’t you think of him as Captain America like the rest of the common folk?” Bucky lets his head collapse on the back of the chair.

“Because he wasn’t.” He doesn’t make eye contact with Tony making it easier to say. “Before he was Captain America, he was Steve Rogers.”

Tony doesn’t say anything else and gets up to leave the room. Bucky goes back to his research. His mind won’t focus and he knows it’s time to call it for the night. Going back to his quarters, he heads to the shower where Alpine sits on the counter top until he’s finished. When he crawls into bed, his little furry child climbs up on the bed and curls around his head. Reaching up, he scratches his head and listens to the cat purr. That’s what lulls him to sleep, his final thought being, ‘I hope you’re proud of me.’ It’s the same thought every night and wherever Steve is, he hopes that he hears Bucky’s plea.

The following morning, everyone is already in the conference room when he arrives. He didn’t sleep enough, but he slept all that he could. He sits Alpine on the table and everyone looks at the cat, then at Bucky. “I was tired of him being alone all day, so he’s going to hang out with us.” Bucky puts the temporary litter box in the corner of the room and sets the bowls up by the door.

Tony stares at the cat, who stares back with no regard for who he is. “He’s judging me.”

Natasha snorts. “He does that. He doesn’t like me either.” At that, Alpine flicks his tail and walks over to Phil, who scratches under his chin.

Tony looks offended. “What? He likes me. I’m not an asshole…most of the time.” Bucky sits down and starts working. Every day that he’s been here, this is routine, minus Alpine. He sits and works and everyone else does whatever it is that they do and they chat and Bucky keeps his mouth shut.

Mid-morning, he gets up to walk around. He finds himself outside and knows that agents are watching him. He observes them and determines the ones that seem to be okay and just following Stark’s orders and those that look at him with contempt. He doesn’t let it bother him because, truthfully, not much bothers him anymore. Most days he feels like an empty shell of what he used to be and knows for sure, that he doesn’t want this life anymore.

Sam finds him staring out at the forest surrounding the Compound. “What’s got you so deep in thought?”

Bucky doesn’t start because he’s started paying attention to what’s going on around him. He knew that someone was coming, just not who. “Just thinking about after.”

“What about after?” Sam’s looking at him critically and Bucky lets him look.

“I’m not sure where to go from here.” He doesn’t explain further because he doesn’t want to hear Sam try to counsel Bucky through this.

“You go back to your life like nothing changed.” Sam reaches over tentatively and puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“But things have changed. Hell, everything has changed.” They stand in silence for a time.

“You know, I’m still here for you. I know things aren’t the same between us, but I’m still your friend.” Bucky can hear the pain in Sam’s voice.

He huffs. “Yeah, I know you are and I’m your friend too. I just need to get this done…for Steve.”

“Why does he mean so much to you?” Bucky’s not going to tell Sam about what he really thinks. That’s between Bucky and a man that he never set eyes on other than TV.

“I don’t know, not really, just know that he does.” Bucky knows that Sam picked up on the present tense. Bucky also knows that Counselor Sam wants to talk about that, but Bucky isn’t ready and may never be.

Sam shuffles from foot to foot. “You know there’s a memorial here.” Bucky nods. “You haven’t been over to see it?” Bucky shakes his head and heads back into the building.

By mid-afternoon he’s sure that he has the answer to all of this, but he doesn’t want to say anything to anyone yet. Darcy sees his face. “You know how to argue this don’t you?”

All eyes come up. Bucky knows that most of them are working on other things, trying to figure out who’s in on this and who isn’t. Ross has covered his tracks well, but not well enough. “They are basically abolishing the 13th Amendment. They are asking all of you to enter into servitude and enslaving anyone that doesn’t.” Bucky turns and looks at Sam. 

Sam looks sick. “They can’t just undo the Constitution so they can play with the good toys.”

Phil looks at what Bucky has in front of him. “Can you make a case for this if we bring in a lawyer?”

“I can do it without a lawyer.” He works the rest of the day and into the night again.

“There’s a reason that Steve picked you and not someone else on the list.” Bucky looks up to find Phil standing in the door with Alpine. “Oh and he managed to get the lift to recognize him and I found him in the communal kitchen.”

Bucky chuckles and Phil puts the cat on the conference table. He walks down the middle of the table to Bucky and butts his dad’s head. “Why did he pick me?” Bucky wants to hear what Phil thinks about all of this. Of everyone here besides Sam and Darcy, Phil is the one that Bucky would turn to in a pinch.

“He picked you because you’re a good man too. He didn’t just pick a name out of a hat. He did research and you were what he needed. Good man to good man.” Phil puts a container on the table near Bucky. “I brought you something to eat. I figured you weren’t going to stop until you had what you needed.”

That night, Bucky falls asleep with his head on the table and Alpine purring near his ear. He dreams of Steve and getting to just sit and talk to each other. He dreams of a lake with the sunset casting oranges and golds across the sky. He dreams of Steve taking his hand, kissing it and holding it to his heart. Bucky wakes the next morning with tears on his cheeks.


	22. Chapter 22

T’Challa watches as Steve makes his way through the obstacle course laid out by his General and Nakia. Since the ritual something in the super soldier has altered. It’s like his brother can breathe easily. His mother joins him at the screen. “He is doing well.”

“He is doing better than I believed in such a short amount of time.” She nods and watches the pride on her son’s face. Steve scales the wall of a building and flings himself over the top. Instead of landing in a roll like he would have before, he lands in a crouch, surveying the surroundings. He no longer smashes through things, he looks at what he’s doing and considers all of his options. He moves, not like Captain America, but like a predatory animal.

“When will you take him on a mission?” She’s watching Steve as well and seeing what he is becoming.

Turning to her, he studies his mother. “You are worried for him.”

“I worry for all of my children and I have four now, so yes I am concerned.” T’Challa grins and she smacks him in the arm. “Do not be shocked.”

“I am not shocked. I am pleased. I was concerned about your feelings on this matter.” He goes back to watching his brother make his way into a secure location and how the guards never know that he’s there.

“My feelings are that he put their life in danger to defend our people, he has honor and nobility. But I do not want him pushed into a protector if he is not sure. Now answer my question.” He watches as Steve takes the flag from the designated location and exits the building without incident. 

“We have intel that another group is trying to bring their slave trade through the outer territory again. Tomorrow night will be his first test.” She nods, but T’Challa can see her unease. “It has been over a year and he has learned a great deal, Mother.”

“Yes, but in the throes of battle we sometimes forget new training.” T’Challa nods and sees Okoye and Nakia running through the days exercise with Steve. He notices the way the man’s shoulders are held differently. Many times he would watch and see the way that Steve pulled in on himself, slumping his shoulders to look less intimidating. He no longer does that. It is a good look on the man. They have never spoken about what Steve experienced in the ritual, but whatever it was, he came out a different man.

Steve makes his way to the lab after going over what happened in the course today. Between the new moves that he’s learned and the way he connects with his body, he doesn’t feel like he’s run down. After hours in battle, he always felt like he needed more sleep. Something about how he moves now seems to conserve energy. When he gets to the lab, Wanda is giggling at something that Shuri has said. They both look up when he comes in.

“Ah, my white brother is here.” She claps and runs to him, throwing herself into his arms. “What have you come for?”

“I thought as your brother, I could come visit anytime I wanted.” He flips her over his shoulder and carries her back to her desk. She smacks him on the lower back, squealing. That’s how T’Challa finds them when he enters the lab.

“Brother, do not put her down yet.” T’Challa runs over, smacking his sister’s butt and making her yelp.

“This is not what I thought I would get with two older brothers!” Wanda is cackling in hysterical laughter. “Put me down or I will not give you your gift.”

Steve swings her down. T’Challa frowns. “What? Presents are good bribery.”

The King laughs. “I will remember that for a later date. Sister, what do you have for us?”

Shuri shifts from giggling teenager to technology wizard in seconds. “You,” She points at T’Challa, “I have nothing for. The upgrades were made already and you have already tried them out and found them to be…what was it you said…sufficient. If your suit fails you tomorrow night, it is your own fault.” Everyone snorts at that. She looks over at Steve. “You, however, have not tried yours out and that needs to happen before you join any missions.”

Steve looks confused and Shuri grabs his arm and drags him through the lab. There’s a dummy in the far corner with nothing but a necklace hanging around the neck. It’s a silver chain with a pendent; stamped in the metal is a wolf howling. She takes it off and hangs it around Steve’s neck. “I don’t understand.”

Shuri grins over at T’Challa. “Tap the pendent.”

Steve reaches up, tapping it and he feels the nanotech take over. Within seconds his body is covered, but in what he can’t see. The mask over his face doesn’t feel constricting, in fact, it feels comfortable. Much more comfortable than the cowl he used to wear, but this covers his entire head. Wanda is looking at him awestruck, T’Challa is looking on in appreciation, and Shuri looks very please with herself. She pulls him over to a mirror and Steve freezes. “This…this…”

“I am a genius.” She takes Steve’s hand. “Now, flick your hand, not wildly, just…” 

Steve twitches his wrist and claws come out. “This is unbelievable.”

“As I said, I am a genius. Now, you, T’Challa, Wanda and myself can activate the suit. You because you wear it, and the rest of us because if something happens we need to be able to get to you.” He nods and Shuri smiles at him. Wanda makes a circle around him and can’t believe what she’s seeing. “What do you think, my witch?”

“This is incredible. Steve this is amazing.” Steve looks over at T’Challa, hoping it meets the King’s approval.

“This is good.” T’Challa reaches up, touching the center claw of his necklace and he’s suddenly encased in his own suit. Black Panther looks at White Wolf. “Catch me if you can, Brother.” And he speeds out of the lab, leaving laughter in his wake. White Wolf chuckles and speeds after Black Panther.

Shuri rolls her eyes. “Men are so weird.”

Wanda’s arm slips around her soul mates waist. “You did good.” Shuri looks down at the floor, bashfully. 

Wakanda will go to bed tonight telling the story of Black Panther and White Wolf playing in the streets and on the rooftops of the Golden City. They will rest easy knowing that the country’s protectors will watch over them.


	23. Chapter 23

“Dr. Barnes, you’re a professor of ethics at NYU, why should we hear you out on the matter of the Accords?” The chairman of the committee looks at Bucky with contempt, but Tony pulled a few strings and this committee has a few new faces on it. Faces that Secretary Ross doesn’t want to see. 

“Well Mr. Chairman, I don’t know anyone better to challenge this than an ethics professor with no connection to anyone in this chamber.” The chairman starts to talk again, but Bucky breaks in. “And yes, I have been working out of the Avengers Compound, but I’m not a member of their team, I am not being paid by anyone that is on their team, and for the most part Mr. Chairman, I don’t like anyone on their team.” That causes some snickering from the gallery and from the committee.

“Be that as it may, what do you think you can bring to this that no one else can?” He’s a condescending prick and Bucky’s ready for this guy.

“Mr. Chairman and committee members, I come here today in the stead of Captain Rogers.” There’s whispering amongst the gallery. “He can’t be here today because these Accords killed him.” That gets the gallery up in arms and the Chairman bangs his gavel. It quiets down. “You see Mr. Chairman I could make an argument and try to appeal to your emotions, but that isn’t really what this is about. I think if you’re against these Accords you already know why. If you’re in favor of these Accords I think you’re being bought because that’s the only explanation for abolishing the 13th Amendment of our Constitution.” There’s an explosion in the gallery and from the committee.

“You have no right to say that, Dr. Barnes.” Everyone quiets down to hear what this unknown ethics professor has to say.

“Well, I think since I was kidnapped and tortured because of these, I’m the best person to be talking about it.” The Chairman looks like he wants to chop Bucky’s head off, but one of the other committee members, who is against this, speaks up.

“Dr. Barnes, what do you mean?” She’s leaning forward. A side door opens in the chamber and Secretary Ross steps in. Some of the press turn to click pictures of him. One, that will come out later in the paper, will show Dr. Barnes in the foreground and Secretary Ross glaring at him across the room.

“Thirteen months ago I was taken by force, drugged, and tortured for hours until a covert team came in and got me out.” It took time and talking, but Bucky remembers a lot about that night now. He remembers one face in particular and the questions that kept being repeated over and over.

The Chairman tries to wave her off, but she puts her hand in his face and quietly tells him to shut up. “Dr. Barnes, can you tell us anything about that night and why it’s connected to these Accords?”

Phil had talked him through this, Sam had held his hand and told him he didn’t have to talk about it if he didn’t want to, but Darcy had said that it was the quickest way to gain the attention of the media and the right people in Congress. “I can show you what happened because it was recorded by the people that took me.” The chairman looks over at Ross, who looks like a deer caught in headlights. Sam reaches over placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, squeezing. This is going to be the hardest part for Bucky and they all know it.

The woman that had been talking earlier leans forward. “Sir, how did you come by this recording?”

“I’ve been working with people that are very good at their job.” Darcy sits up a little taller at that. It had taken months for her to infiltrate the encryption protecting everything from that night, but she was determined and a determined Darcy is a dangerous Darcy.

“I think we should see this video.” She’s looking at the Chairman and if he refuses, Bucky knows it will look like he’s trying to hide something. He has no wiggle room to reject the request. Ross is minutely shaking his head, but Bucky knows the committee has no choice.

Four screens lower from the ceiling and Darcy gets up and sets up the computer. The screen comes to life and she goes to sit next to Bucky instead of the gallery, knowing this will be hard for him to watch.

_The light above the table shines down on Bucky strapped to the table. There’s a man wearing a white jacket, bending over the table. When he turns back around, he’s holding a syringe. Looking over to the side, to a woman sitting at a computer. “Monitor his vitals.” She just nods._

_Another voice off to the side, out of camera range, huffs. “How long before I can talk to him?”_

_“Give it about 5 minutes and then he should be ready.” The man off camera comes into frame. Secretary Ross leans over the table. “You’re going to tell me everything I want to know about Captain Rogers.”_

_Bucky looks up, spitting in the Secretary’s face. Ross punches him repeatedly in the face and stomach. “Real brave guy, beating up someone strapped to a table. You’re a coward.”_

_The man in the white jacket comes back into frame and starts affixing electrodes all over Bucky’s body. Metal bands are secured around his head, neck, chest, pelvis, and ankles. Bucky looks terrified, but stubborn. “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll tell me everything I want to know about Captain Rogers so I can silence him for good. He’ll live out his life strapped to a table just like this while we take whatever we want from him.” A plastic mouth guard is shoved into Bucky’s mouth when he tries to talk back. “Don’t worry though, you’ll be a vegetable by then.”_

There are gasps from the gallery and from the committee. Bucky hangs onto Darcy a little harder and he feels hands on his shoulders. He knows those hands belong to Sam and Phil. He’s got these people to care about him, but all he can think about is what he’s hearing because he stopped looking at the screen a few minutes into the video starting.

_Bucky’s body bows up off the table as the electrical charges are sent through his body. Each time it happens, the metal bands dig into his skin, cutting him over and over, deeper and deeper. The table and Bucky are both covered in blood now and each time they send a charge through him, his ankles twist causing the eventual severe sprains that took weeks to get over._

_Ross keeps asking him over and over, what he knows about Captain Rogers’s whereabouts. Each time_ , _Bucky screams, but refuses to say anything. His body is exhausted and each time they stop the charge, Bucky seems to pass out._

_Ross looks over at the doctor. “Why isn’t the drug working? Why isn’t he talking?”_

_The doctor shakes his head. “I don’t know. He should have broken by now.”_

_Ross picks up an object from the desk where the tech is monitoring Bucky and comes back over, hitting the man on the table repeatedly. It’s only when he drops it to the tray next to the table that the observer can tell it’s a stapler. “Give him another dose.”_

_“Sir, if we do that he’ll die before you can get any answers.”_

_Secretary Ross grabs the doctor by the collar. “Then we’ll just send a strong enough charge through him to make sure that doesn’t happen. Give him another dose and amp up the charge.”_

Someone on the committee turns away from the screen and the chairman waves for them to turn it off. The room is silent and it’s obvious that no one can speak. Many of the people on the committee look white as sheets. Bucky sits quietly moving his fingers over the soul mark on his arm. It’s a habit he picked up after Tony saw it and consequently everyone found out what it was. It takes time, but time Bucky is willing to spend for everyone to get their emotions about what they saw under control.

Finally, someone asks a question. Bucky doesn’t know if this committee member is on their side or not. “Dr. Barnes, can you explain you comment earlier about the 13th Amendment?”

“Of course, sir. As you should know, the 13th Amendment abolished slavery in this country, but what the Accords allow the government to do, specifically this Enhanced Oversight Committee, is to arrest and detain anyone that doesn’t sign for an indefinite amount of time, but what most people don’t read through is the aspect of that Amendment that states that the enhanced person being held will submit themselves to any and all procedures deemed necessary by the committee. Sir, that means that the person being held is nothing more than a piece of property and this country’s Constitution makes that illegal. And furthermore, asking a free and sovereign country to open its borders to be strip mined of its natural resources is against the law and you all know that. Without legal request of entry and the returning legal documents granting that request, if the US Government tries to enter Wakanda, they are declaring war.”

Bucky takes a breath and Sam leans in. “You’re doing good. Steve would be proud of you today.”

Bucky squares his shoulders. “Mr. Chairman, member of the Oversight Committee, the Accords aren’t an ethical dilemma because anyone with any kind of conscious can tell you that they are wrong and in most cases illegal. This country was supposed to have left those antiquated ideas in the past. And to attack its citizens and to cause the death of one so well-loved, is unacceptable on every ethical, moral, and logical level. If you allow these to make it through committee, you’ll be dooming this country to relive a past that should never be forgotten, but certainly shouldn’t be repeated. Thank you.”

Bucky makes his way outside and stands in front of the press, repeating what he said in the chamber, but doing so with much more inflammatory language. He thinks about Steve. He thinks about Wanda. Bucky looks down at his arm and thinks of an unknown soul mate. Then he thinks about Steve again.

Three days later, the Accords are struck down in committee and arrests are made. Everyone from clerks to Federal Judges, to Secretary Ross are escorted out of their offices and into Homeland Security custody. The Avengers celebrate their victory and Bucky raises a glass to Steve in the silence of his own room, Alpine at his feet. “To the man that came into my life and put me on a mission that would change me forever. To you Steve.” Putting the glass aside and picking up his furry companion, Bucky weeps for the man that will never see this.


	24. Chapter 24

The trucks carrying the people being sold into slavery make their way through the jungle, slow and with low lights, so as not to draw attention from villages. The women and children in the backs of the trucks are told to stay silent and still or they will be shot. The lead truck stops when something lands on the roof. Black Panther leaps at the door as soon as it opens and the driver is pulled out and into the brush. The other trucks stop and men clamor out with guns ready. They fire, but Black Panther moves too quickly. There’s screaming and as the Panther takes out another guard, one that he doesn’t see, takes aim. His shot is never fired because a second creature, all in white, ears pointed, but curved in, and what looks to be a short snout, flies over the top of the truck, pulling the armed guard down with him.

The white creature lands in the middle of a group of guards and while the Panther is taking out the drivers, the Wolf is attending to the others. Once all of the men are taken care of, Nakia and a few of the other Dora, assist in getting the women and children off of the trucks. The Panther and Wolf watch from the trees, but make no move to help. Nakia knows that they don’t want to frighten anyone anymore than they already are, but it also lends to the mystique of the legends. She smiles up at the brothers, crouched in the trees above them.

They return to the palace and for the first time, in his life, Steve left a fight without the nagging feeling that he could have done more. They step into the lab so Shuri can check their armor, but Wanda is looking at Steve like she’s seen a ghost. “Wanda?”

“You need to see this, Brother.” Shuri puts the Oversight Committee meeting on the screen. Steve watches Bucky take on the committee and never blink. He’s seen pictures because he researched the man before sending the first email, but the man sitting at the table, pulling the microphone close is fearless and beautiful. It’s the only way to describe him, he’s beautiful.

Steve taps the pendent in the front of the suit and the nanotech fades away. “Steve, they threw the Accords out.” Steve looks down at Wanda, putting his arm around her.

He smiles. “That’s good.”

She looks up worried. “What are you going to do?” Shuri and T’Challa seem to be curious about his answer too.

Steve furrows his brow. “Wanda, I’m not part of that world anymore. They think I’m dead and I want to stay that way. Wakanda is my home, my family is here. It’s good that Bucky did this, but it doesn’t change anything for us.”

She hugs him. “I’m so glad you feel that way.”

Steve looks over, grinning. “Plus, I don’t think I’ve ever actually had fun in a fight before.” T’Challa barks a laugh and Shuri giggles.

“You nearly pushed me out of that tree. Try not to take up so much space next time.” Laughter rings through the halls as they go to clean up and have dinner. Steve looks around as they do. Family is so good. He’d really like to see Bucky though. It’s not a regret, just a desire.

While eating, Shuri and Wanda keep exchanging glances that don’t go unnoticed by the men. “What are you two plotting this time?”

Wanda looks over at T’Challa. “There was more to the committee meeting than what we showed you. I think Steve needs to see it, but I don’t think he needs to see it alone.”

Steve looks up from his plate. “What does that mean?”

“There was a video of the night your friend was taken. It is not…” Shuri stops and Wanda takes her hand and nods. “It is not pleasant what was done to him.”

Steve drops his fork and goes to bring up the video. They surround him, giving strength and support, but Steve’s insides ache with what he sees happening to Bucky. More than anything he wants to contact the man, but that isn’t his life anymore. That life and everything connected with it is over. That doesn’t stop the physical pain that overtakes him and it doesn’t stop the nightmares that haunt him for weeks after.


	25. Chapter 25

Bucky goes back to his life as best he can, after talking it over with Sam and Darcy, he does move. He doesn’t like the idea that he still feels like he has eyes watching him all the time. His new place is closer to campus and that helps because the desire to go to work just isn’t there anymore. He moves as many of his classes as he can to an online format and spends his days prepping lessons, doing virtual office hours, and talking to his cat. He’s slowly becoming _that_ guy.

He doesn’t spend all of his time inside, he goes to the farmer’s market once a week and has become friends with some of the merchants. He goes to a new coffee shop/bakery that has a friendly staff. One of the younger workers recognized him and told him that he thinks Captain America would be proud. He does cover his mark every time he leaves the apartment. Those are questions and looks that he doesn’t want to answer.

He calls Sam one afternoon and asks for a favor. It’s been awhile since they did anything together and Sam jumps at the chance to spend time with his friends. “Where do you want to go?”

Bucky stays silent on the phone for a little longer than he should. “I want to go to the memorial.”

That causes Sam to be silent. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I have something I need to do.” The semester is almost over and Bucky’s been letting his mind wander to things that he’s kept hidden for too long. 

They arrive at the Compound and Sam takes him around the main building and points at a trail. “Follow that and it will take you where you wanna go.” Bucky told Sam that he needed to do this on his own, so the man stays where he is. Natasha comes out and Bucky nods an acknowledgement, but keeps moving.

He hears her talking to Sam. “He’s finally going?”

“Yeah.” That’s all Bucky hears before he disappears into the forest.

The memorial is in a clearing and Bucky imagines when the sun is just right in the sky, the statue is illuminated. It’s done in white marble and looks very much like Captain America. It doesn’t look anything like the Steve that lives in Bucky’s mind. He goes to the placard and reads what they put there. None of it says ‘this is Steve Rogers’ it’s very much a monument to Captain America, but it’s all that Bucky has, so he sits on a bench at the tree line and stares up at the statue. As an afterthought he takes out his phone and clicks a picture to send to Wanda.

Taking a deep breath, he blows it out and starts talking. “I never really understood why people when to the cemetery and talked to the headstone of whoever they lost. I don’t really want to be here Steve, but this is all I have left.” Bucky leans back, gripping the front of the bench to balance himself. “When I got that first email from you, I was intrigued. When we started talking through email, I got attached. Then you called and…” He knew that tears would come, but he didn’t expect them this quick. “Steve I got more than a little attached. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before, so I can’t really say that’s what this is, but it goes deep, man.” Wiping his eyes, he looks up again. The jaw is right, but the cowl just doesn’t work. “Steve, I don’t want to have this life anymore. It doesn’t fit the way it used to. Teaching used to be fun, but it’s just a chore now. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I have to do something to make everything feel right again.” His shoulders slump and he starts to cry again. “I miss you so much and that’s not fair. It’s not fair that I had you for such a short time. It hurts that I didn’t really have you, but it still feels like I lost you.”

When he gets home later, he allows Sam to come up and to also invite Darcy over. They haven’t done this since before everything happened and if Bucky is about to change his whole world, he’d like to talk to them about it. Darcy arrives with Chinese food and beer. They make themselves comfortable and Sam watches the room as they eat in silence.

“Why do I feel like you’re about to drop a bombshell on us?” Bucky looks up and sees both of them watching. Now is as good a time as any.

“This isn’t up for discussion, this is just what’s going to happen. I’m telling you because we are friends.” They both seem surprised that he thinks of them that way again. “I know, it’s been a long time since we’ve been like that, but you are my friends and you did save me.” Darcy swallows hard and Sam seems to relax. “I’m not going back to the university next semester.” They both stop eating, just looking at him like he’s crazy.

Sam is the first to speak. “Man, do you really think you need to make a change like that?”

Bucky cuts his eyes over to Sam. “I said this wasn’t up for discussion, Sam. I’ve already given my notice.”

Darcy seems to accept his words without challenge. “What will you do?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I have a little money saved and I can live on that for awhile, but this isn’t my life anymore. Things are different. I’m different.” She nods at that, but Sam still looks like he wants to talk it through. “You can either be my friend and accept this or you aren’t. There’s not an in between here.” That settles the conversation and they go on to talk about other things.


	26. Chapter 26

Steve puts the evening feed into the pen with the goats and heads over to the garden he’s cultivating. Not everything seems to want to grow and Shuri laughs because he can just go to the market, but he likes the idea of growing some things on his own. He still trains every day and has been on every mission with T’Challa. It makes him feel good to help the people that are his countrymen now. Nakia still works with him and he’s gotten very good about picking operatives out of crowds of people. He never thought he’d actually be a spy, but that’s kind of how it feels. And…he’s good at it. Once he unlearned his wrecking ball ways. She’s also made him start speaking in only Wakandan, telling him that it is his language now and outside the borders, it is the language he needs to speak to cover who he really is.

Shuri took his pendent a few days previously to make some adjustments to his suit. She said that there are times that the color is not the best, so she’s going to make it reflective, so if he’s helping on a mission at night, the suit will go dark, if he’s next to a building, it will reflect whatever color it needs to be. He likes that, it makes it so he can blend, but on a daily basis, the suit is an off-white color that suits Steve just as well too.

He hears her before he sees her, so when her hand lands on his shoulder, he doesn’t jump or take a defensive stance. Nakia made him realize that he wasn’t using all of what the serum gave him to its full potential. He’s spent years relying on the com between teammates that he forgot that he could hear better than normal. ‘Always know yourself and your surroundings.’ He can hear Nakia in his head.

“Are you going to keep letting your hair grow?” Wanda plays with the dark blond strands. It’s nearing the base of his back now and most days he puts it into a braid or a ponytail. 

“You don’t like my hair?” He stands to hug her.

“I actually like it quite a bit, but I think we should braid it. It’s going to keep getting in your eyes.” They head into the house where Steve already has dinner ready.

“I’m going to shower, but if you want to start eating without me you can.” She nods, heading into the kitchen. After they’ve both eaten, she has him sit on the floor in front of her and starts to braid his hair into an intricate design she learned from Shuri. 

“What made you want to grow your hair?” She’s focused on her task and making sure the hair ties she found in the kitchen are still next to her on the sofa.

“At first it was just because I didn’t think about it, but the longer it got the more I liked it.” Her fingers feel amazing running through his hair and Steve just melts into the feeling.

She sweeps it up, looking at it critically. “Are you falling asleep?”

“Yeah, sorry, it just feels good.” She chuckles and keeps working.

“I’ll get you more hair ties the next time I’m in the market.” She looks down at his mark. “Are you ever going to try and find your soul mate?”

He had this same conversation with Nakia a few days ago and is starting to get the impression that they are all in on this together. “I’m not.” She’s about to ask why when he looks over his shoulder at her. “If it happens I’ll be happy, but if it doesn’t it won’t take anything away from the life I have.”

“I never fully understood the marks before.” She’s working on the side of his head. “Have you considered shaving this part?” She runs her fingers along the sides of his head. “Just around the ears. What do you think?”

Steve considers what she’s saying, then gets up and goes back to the bathroom. He comes back with clippers and grabs her hand, heading out the door. “It will be better out here. No hair in the house.”

He sits in the chair that is next to the fire pit. “That was a quick decision.”

Steve chuckles. “Let’s see what it looks like. I mean, it will grow back if I don’t like it.”

She carefully works the clippers through his hair, starting at the sideburns, over the ear and to the back of his neck. She makes several passes and then moves up about an inch. “I’m going to take just a little more off.”

Steve hums that he heard her, but doesn’t speak. He lets himself sink into the quiet buzz of the clippers and the soft hum of some song that Wanda likes right now. By the time the sun sets, she’s finished the sides of his hair and braided everything else with a new design. In the bathroom later that night, Steve looks at himself in the mirror. He’s just finished trimming his beard and the man looking back at him is a surprise. He looks very different from who he once was. The clean-cut man is gone and this man stands in his place. 

As he crawls into bed that night, the Kimoyo Bead on his bracelet vibrates. Swiping his hand over it, he finds a message from Wanda.

“Steve, I didn’t tell you this before because it seemed too painful for you, but I’ve been keeping in contact with Dr. Barnes through your email. Please don’t be angry. When I got home tonight, there was a new one and I think you should read it. I know how difficult this is for you. Truly, I do, but you need to read this.” The holographic message closes and Steve picks up his tablet, finding the email that Wanda just told him about. He stopped checking this account after his ‘death’ because he couldn’t keep reading the emails and not respond.

_To:[IceIceBaby18@gmail.com](mailto:IceIceBaby18@gmail.com)_

_From:[BuckyBear83@gmail.com](mailto:BuckyBear83@gmail.com)_

_Subject: Changes_

_Dear Wanda,_

_This will probably be the last time I email you. I’m making some changes and this is one of them. I can’t keep hanging onto things that don’t do anything but make me sad. By emailing you, I’m hanging onto Steve and it’s been almost two years. But before I do, I wanted you to know that I’m going to be okay, I just have to change some things to keep moving forward._

_So, let’s start with my job. I quit teaching because it’s not what it used to be. I looked forward to going to my classes and seeing my student. Now, I look out at their faces and question how many of them thought the Accords were a good idea and they’re taking my class to challenge me about it. It happened last semester. I need to learn to trust people again and if I can’t do that, I shouldn’t be teaching them._

_Next, when I told my friends about my decision, I got a job offer from Tony Stark. Do I trust him? No. Did I take the job? Yes. And here’s why, during all of this, I came to understand what they were doing. I think they went about it wrong and told them so many times. Tony told me that I was right, that he didn’t see Steve for a person, but just as the asset I accused him of using. He told me that if he could go back and change it, he would, but now he’ll have to live with that guilt for the rest of his lift. I didn’t even know that Stark Industries had an ethics department, but now I’m running it. Oddly enough, my office is at the Compound and not in New York City._

_Last, and I’m sharing this with you and hope that it will go no further. I fell in love with Steve Rogers. Let me explain. I fell in love with the idea of him because I didn’t really know him. I look at my mark every day and think about what it would have been like if after his trauma and then mine, we had met. Would it have been him? I can’t say, but I want that more than anything and he isn’t here anymore. I can’t keep hanging on to that because it’s a fruitless endeavor._

_I’m keeping my apartment in the city and spend time there when I need to get away from everything, which with Tony, that’s more than you would think. I hope you have a good life wherever you are. I hope the people with you know how special you are. I hope everything good that life can bring to us, you have._

_Take care of yourself,_

_Bucky_


	27. Chapter 27

Bucky pulls his car around to the spot designated for him. Getting out, he grabs Alpine and his bag, heading into the main building. Swiping his card, the door opens and he finds Phil coming out. “Oh, Dr. Barnes, did you have a good weekend?”

Bucky smiles and finds that easier these days. “Yeah, I got a lot done without Tony hovering in my doorway.”

“Have a good day.” Phil usually hangs around to talk a little more than that, but Bucky shrugs it off and heads to this quarters. Everything is where he left it and just as he’s putting the cat and bag down, FRIDAY interrupts. Bucky looks around at his sparse living space. He hasn’t made it home because it isn’t home. When Tony came to him, offering this job, Bucky made it very clear that it was just a temporary situation. This isn’t what he wants either, but it’s a nice distraction until he can figure out what he really wants. Tony hadn’t really accepted that, but Bucky can’t help that the billionaire thinks he can buy anything he wants, even a person’s loyalty. Bucky lets him think whatever he wants because Bucky knows his own heart and doesn’t have to share that with Tony Stark.

‘Dr. Barnes, Mr. Stark and Ms. Romanov would like to see you in conference room A.’

Sighing, he goes to the fridge for a soda, pulls his hair up into a loose bun, and heads back out the door. When he enters, there’s a woman standing there, tall, regal looking. Natasha seems put off by her, but that could just be Bucky reading too much into a situation he doesn’t understand. Tony looks up. “Ah, there you are. You really should stop going into the city to stay in that shoebox you call an apartment. What could possibly be there that you can’t get here?”

Bucky quirks an eyebrow. “Time away from you, Tony.” Bucky would be worried about talking to an employer like that, but Stark is a different breed.

Bucky comment goes right over Stark’s head and the woman turns to examine him. Romanov takes it from there because Tony is back to looking over whatever is on his tablet. “Dr. Barnes, this is Nakia, she’s a representative from Wakanda. We might have a problem.”

Bucky walks over to her, but doesn’t extend his hand. He doesn’t know their customs and doesn’t want to offend her. She bows slightly and Bucky returns it. Something in her eyes tells him he did the right thing. “It’s a pleasure to meet you…” He pauses. “Should I call you Nakia or is there a title I should reference?”

Nakia smiles brightly at him and Tony and Natasha both watch how it changes the serious aura she had with them. “Nakia is acceptable. And should I refer to you as…”

He breaks in, not meaning to be rude. “Please call me Bucky. It’s a nickname that my friends use.”

She looks at him in a conspiratory way, glancing at Stark and Romanov. “Then they must call you Dr. Barnes.”

“They better.” She giggles into her hand and then something in her eyes changes. It isn’t so much weariness as it is recognition. “Is everything alright?”

Nodding she shakes whatever it was away. “Yes, yes of course. I just thought of something Her Highness asked me to take care of while I’m am this close to New York.”

“If it’s anything I can help with, please let me know.” Bucky likes this woman, something about her is honest and good.

Nakia reaches out, placing a hand on his arm. “I may take you up on that. She said something about the best bagels in Brooklyn?”

Bucky laughs and Tony and Natasha just keep watching this weird conversation. “Okay, now that this strange situation is over, let’s talk about why we’re all here.” Tony brings the information up from his tablet into the holographic screen over the table. Bucky watches her reaction and it doesn’t faze her. He knew that there was something about Wakanda that no one knew, so if this tech doesn’t surprise her, then she knew about it already. Tony starts talking again. “In the last few months, small domestic terrorist cells that have been using weapons beyond what they should have.” Bucky doesn’t know why he’s here, but Nakia keeps watching him and Natasha keeps watching her. “We got our hands on one of them and it’s made of vibranium.”

Nakia cuts in. “This many weapons in this many hands means large amounts of vibranium moved out of my country.” She clears her throat and looks up at the display. “Five years ago there was a situation.” She doesn’t elaborate, but Bucky can tell that Tony and Natasha want to ask. “A large supply disappeared and we tracked it to South Africa, but lost it after that.”

“So, someone used that to build these and is selling them to terrorists?” Tony nods at Bucky. “Why am I here Tony? This is an Avengers thing and not an ethics thing.”

Nakia’s eyes light up at that and Tony and Natasha don’t miss it. “Well, Barnacles, we do have an ethical dilemma here because we have to not only stop whatever this movement is, but we have to negotiate getting it back to Wakanda without our government trying to take the tech and use it themselves.”

Nakia extends her hand across the table. “Will you help my people take back what was stolen?”

There’s no way that Bucky can dismiss that plea. “Yeah, I’ll start working on it. What’s your next move, Tony?”

“Well Nakia tells us that there is an elite fighting team that would like to come over and help.” Tony looks for Nakia to fill in something, anything more than that.

“They are brothers that are…unique.” That’s all she offers and Tony is nearly salivating wanting to know more.

Bucky gets up. “I’ll head to my office right after I go check on my furry beast.” Nakia gets up watching him in confusion. “Oh, sorry, I have a cat that very much likes to escape and it doesn’t help that FRIDAY allows it to happen.” His voice escalates so that the AI knows that he’s talking to her.

FRIDAY chooses that moment to chime in. ‘Dr. Barnes, he has escaped to the communal kitchen.’

Bucky huffs and Nakia joins in. “I am curious about this beast. Would you allow me to go with you to retrieve it?”

Bucky grins. “Sure, come on. He’ll enjoy meeting someone new, but beware, he does judge everyone pretty harshly at first.” They step into the kitchen and Bucky starts looking around. “Okay, where are you, you little pain in my ass?” There’s a small ‘meep’ from the pantry. Bucky opens the door and scoops him up. Turning to Nakia, she’s smiling until Bucky says, “Nakia, I’d like you to meet Alpine.” The smile fades just for a second, then it comes back full force.


	28. Chapter 28

Nakia goes to her quarters having hastily excused herself with an excuse of checking in with her King. Tapping the controls, she shuts down all of Tony’s tech meant to spy on her, including the AI FRIDAY. Swiping over the Kimoyo Bead, Shuri’s face appears. “Nakia, how is everything in America?”

“Not now! We have a bigger issue! Get Wanda and T’Challa!” Nakia moves her fingers above the holographic image and pulls it into the air making the screen bigger. Three faces appear, T’Challa smiles at her like always. “Is Steven near?”

Wanda starts to look worried. “Nakia, what is happening? Do they know?”

Shaking her head, Shuri looks back at the screen. “Steven is at home. Now what is this about?”

Nakia is anxious and jumpy. “Wanda, the man that Steven was corresponding with, is a Dr. Barnes?” Wanda nods. “Also known as Bucky?”

Wanda nods again. “Yes, but what…”

Nakia waves her words away, too excited to stop. “He is here. At the Compound working for Stark.” They all know what this means. It means that Steve will have to stay hidden the whole time he’s there. He was going to do that anyway, but now it means that the one person he wants to see more than anyone else, won’t know that it’s him.

“This is going to be very difficult for him.” Wanda aches for both of them.

“That isn’t why I called. He has a cat. A white cat named Alpine.” At that information, Wanda, Shuri, and T’Challa stand silent, mouths hanging open, but then the grins start. 

“Well, we have two jobs to do now.”


	29. Chapter 29

Steve’s tending the goats with the help of a group of kids. They started showing up every morning and every evening. Steve gives them jobs to do and they laughingly help him do anything he needs. After a few weeks of this, after the chores were done, he would set up his paints and they would stay to watch. After a few weeks of that, he started setting up paints for them as well. Now, he teaches them about color and movement in painting. Learning the language was the best thing that Steve ever did. These kids are smart and funny and give him such peace and joy. Today, when they finish with the goats, they are going to start a portrait for their families. He’s assembled the easels, canvases, paints and mirrors, so they can look at themselves while painting.

“You have become their favorite villager.” Steve looks up to see Wanda coming towards him. She’s carrying a basket, which means she brought snacks for him and the kids.

“I let them play with paint, I can’t imagine why they would like me so much.” She laughs and he joins her. He makes sure to cover the painting he’s been working on because he doesn’t need anyone knowing that he’s been painting Bucky. After two years, he can’t seem to let the man go. He has some final touches to the background, but it’s mostly done.

“You will be pleased with today’s selection of snacks. I have brought you fruit, but I also made the cookies you like so much.” Steve’s eyes light up at that information and Wanda laughs again. “You are no better than the children, Brother.”

“I make no secret that your cookies are better than anything I’ve had in a long time.” He leans in, taking the basket, and kissing her cheek. “How are you?”

“I am very well, but I come with a message from your Brother.” Steve stops digging through the basket to look up in question. “The vibranium has been found and made into weapons. They are being used by domestic terrorists.”

“Then we go stop them and bring back what should have never left our country.” Wanda smiles. Steve can tell that there’s more she’d like to say, but doesn’t. Whatever it is, she will tell him soon enough, so there’s no reason to push. Something that Steve has learned since being here is that he doesn’t have to know everyone’s angle in a situation, he knows, without a doubt, that he can trust the people, this family, to always say what needs to be said when the time is right.

“Spoken like a true Wakandan.” Steve smiles and Wanda hugs him. “But,” Steve pulls back, looking at her. “The domestic terrorists are in America and the Avengers will be helping.”

His face falls. That’s the only thing that might weigh on him. “We are going to have to go with the covert version of my help.”

“T’Challa knows and Shuri is working on a voice modulator that will help with that. It will mean only speaking Wakandan while they are around.” Steve nods and the kids come running for their snack.

The littlest, a girl about 4, runs to Steve instead. He sweeps her into his arms, resting her on his hip. Bending he picks up a cookie and gives it to her. She kisses his cheek and thanks him. “That shouldn’t be a problem.” 

Wanda grins and tickles the little girls belly as she eats and giggles. Turning, Wanda heads back to the palace. “We will see you first thing in the morning.” Steve waves and goes back to talk to the kids.

The following morning, he walks into the lab to Shuri arguing with Wanda. “You are not going to go back to a place where they held you captive!”

“I didn’t really think I asked for your permission. “ Wanda looks like she’s about to break out her powers, but takes a deep breath. “Shuri, miłość, I’m in no danger.”

Shuri looks at the floor with her arms over her chest. It doesn’t look like it’s defensive, but as though she’s protecting herself. “I do not want them hurting you again.”

Wanda goes to her, wrapping her up in a warm hug. “They can’t hurt me anymore. I have you now.”

Resting forehead to forehead, the young women form their own bubble in this crazy world. “If you go, they’ll know where you’ve been.” They jump at Steve’s words.

“Yes, but you could use my help.” Steve goes to them, wrapping his arms around both of them.

“That’s true, but you could also help us from here.” Wanda looks up questioningly. “I simply mean, T’Challa and I are going to be surrounded by everyone that we left behind and it would be nice if we had two familiar voices working for us instead of all of us worried about the others trying to convince you to stay.”

Wanda concedes the point and Shuri does a quick happy dance. T’Challa comes in followed by Okoye and two other guards. “Brother, are you ready?” Steve holds up his bag. They hug the girls with a quick stop to hug their mother and they board the jet.

Part way there, with a fading sky surrounding them as they pass through time zones and get closer to New York, T’Challa brings the screen up and the happy faces of their sisters fill the display. He turns to Steve, who seems to be looking through the information that Nakia got from Tony, the King clears his throat. “Steven, we must talk before we arrive.” The girls nod in unison.

All Steve can think when he looks up is how much he loves these people. Not just his brother and sisters, but all of them. “What has you concerned?”

Wanda pipes up. “There’s something we didn’t tell you before because we were concerned how you would react.”

Shuri takes over from there. “You read the email that Dr. Barnes sent to Wanda.” Steve nods and stands to walk closer to the screen. “The new path he chose for himself is to work for Stark Industries.”

Steve nearly chokes while trying to swallow at the mention of Bucky’s name. T’Challa comes over and puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “His office is at the Compound. It is likely that you will see him while we are there.”

Steve feels the bottom fall out from under him.


	30. Chapter 30

Bucky walks with Nakia around the Compound grounds talking about whatever comes to mind. “Will you be glad to see your friends?”

“Yes, I find this place inviting, but I miss my home and one of them is my soul mate, so there is that too.” Bucky stops walking. “You do not do research on the people that you work with?”

Bucky looks up from where he is staring at the ground, puzzled by the question. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I am sure that your Mr. Stark and Ms. Romanov have already tried to check into who is coming to their Compound, but you have not.” The more time she spends with this man, the more she likes him and respects what he does.

“No, that’s their paranoia, not mine.” They continue their walk. “So, which one is your soul mate?”

A jet lands in the far field and Nakia’s runs towards it. “You are about to meet him, my friend.”

Bucky watches her excitement and joy with longing in his heart. He hears Tony and whoever else coming. When the jet lands and the back opens, three guards come out, standing tall and strong. A tall black man comes down and catches Nakia in his arms, but it’s the man that follows them that has the attention of everyone watching. “What the hell?” Tony is stating what Bucky is thinking.

Natasha looks on, suspicious. “Why is he in a suit?”

Tony doesn’t seem to mind that. “Who cares? Do you think he’ll let me look at it?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and watches the man in white move with the group. He’s graceful and fluid in his movements and Bucky would really like to see his face, but it’s covered by a mask that seems to be part of the suit. He stands behind the couple and is flanked by the guards. He’s tall, over six feet and has to be at least 240 pounds of muscle, which the suit does nothing to hide. Bucky doesn’t know why, but he’d really like to go talk to the guy and welcome him. Lowering his head, Bucky chastises himself for those thoughts. This is a man coming to reclaim what belongs to his country and Bucky’s thinking about what’s under the suit. He blushes and wishes that he could undo the last few thoughts.

T’Challa stops in front of them, but instead of addressing Tony or Natasha, he offers his hand to Bucky. Bucky takes it unsure what this gesture means. “Dr. Barnes, Nakia has told me about you and I wish to thank you for keeping her company in her absence from home.”

Bucky smiles. “She’s very special and you are very lucky…” Nakia elbows him, reminding T’Challa that he hasn’t introduced himself.

“Oh, forgive me, I am T’Challa, King of Wakanda, and soul mate to Nakia, who will hopefully, at some point, agree to be my Queen.” Nakia rolls her eyes. It’s clear to Bucky that their relationship is one of love, respect and equality. What an amazing country Wakanda must be.

“As I have told you before, I am not ready to take on the role of Queen yet.” Tony clears his throat, not used to being ignored.

“Ah yes, Mr. Stark.” T’Challa turns to Natasha. “And Ms. Romanov, it is a pleasure.” He motions for them to head into the building, but Tony can’t help himself and stops them.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us to everyone else?” Bucky has to admit he’s very curious about the man that won’t uncover his face.

Bucky watches as the man comes forward, bowing to them, but not speaking. T’Challa watches them and Bucky can see that the King is enjoying all of this if the twinkle of mischief is anything to go by. “This is my brother and prefers to be called White Wolf. He does not speak English, but does understand it quite well.” T’Challa gets a wicked grin on his face. It’s almost like T’Challa is making a joke that Bucky doesn’t get and isn’t meant to get.

“Let us go in and we can explain the plan we have come up with.” They start toward the building again and man in the suit stays a step behind. Bucky wonders if that’s out of respect for a man that is not just his brother, but his King. Under the suit the man is hard muscles and sharp lines, but he still carries himself like royalty. In his head, Bucky thinks the man must be absolutely beautiful out of his suit.

When they arrive inside, Tony can’t keep his mouth shut. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Wakanda isn’t a poor nation.”

T’Challa takes the offered drink that Natasha brings in. “No, we are not.” Bucky watches how Natasha moves around the other man, assessing him. He seems completely unaffected by her inspection. When she offers him a drink, he shakes his head minutely. That confuses her and Bucky has to admit he likes seeing the Avengers thrown off their game. 

The man in the suit assesses the room, looking around and seeming to be looking for something. A bookcase just off to the side appears to be what he’s looking for. Without comment, White Wolf sashays over to the bookcase and with one graceful, purposeful leap, crouches on the top of the piece of furniture. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t even appear to be breathing, just stares at the group. 

Bucky wants to laugh, but he doesn’t really know why. It does appear that King T’Challa is fighting off a grin, but keeps it under control. Tony and the rest of the Avengers stand gobsmacked by this display. The man doesn’t move or react to their stares, he just sits patiently, watching.

After the shock is over, they are introduced to others at the Compound: Sam, Darcy (who looks at the man in the suit and licks her lips), Phil, Bruce, and Thor. They speak about the mission and how they would like to handle it. T’Challa looks over the plans and turns to his brother. He asks him something in Wakandan and gets a response. The man’s voice is deep and resonates, his accent is devastatingly erotic and Bucky has to breathe deeply.

Bucky doesn’t offer anything because his job isn’t this. As the hour grows late, Tony offers them suites that he prepared, but T’Challa shakes his head. “We have already made arrangements, Mr. Stark, but thank you.” Tony narrows his eyes and Bucky knows that he wanted these people here so that he could keep an eye on them. It makes Bucky happy that Tony isn’t getting what he wants. These people deserve whatever privacy they desire.

Natasha stands. “Does he ever take the suit off?” She thumbs over at White Wolf, still crouches on the bookshelf.

T’Challa smiles. “Not in unknown company.”

“So he doesn’t trust us.” She says it as a statement, not a question.

Bucky can’t keep his mouth shut anymore. “Does he have a reason to?” Nakia looks at him smiling. Bucky doesn’t want to offend anyone in the Wakandan group by stepping out of line, but Natasha needs to step back from her need to know everyone’s business. “He’s come here to help, that’s all he’s here to do. He isn’t here to be your friend.”

The man in the suit looks over at Bucky, or Bucky thinks that he is and nods his head. Saying something to T’Challa, the king translates for the group. Nakia is giggling and Okoye can’t keep the smile off her face. He looks at Bucky. “My brother thanks you for your understanding.” They leave shortly after and Tony is beside himself with the desire to get his hands on their tech. Bucky just heads for his apartment. The Avengers can be so abrasive and it’s annoying and frustrating.

Once inside, he thinks about the man in the suit and wonders if…if him being dressed like a wolf means anything. Pulling his shirt sleeve up, he looks at his mark. Alpine comes over, meowing for attention and Bucky picks him up and heads to the window. The door chimes and Bucky calls for whoever it is to enter. Tony steps in, looking around at the very few changes that Bucky made to his living space. “What can I do for you, Tony?”

“Are you really going to stand there and not say what I know you’re thinking?” Bucky turns. “The man is dressed in a white wolf suit and you don’t think that means anything?”

Bucky puts Alpine down and crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know if it means anything or not, but obviously the man doesn’t want anyone touching him or knowing what he looks like. I’m not going to force that if he doesn’t want it.”

“But…”

“No buts Tony, the man wants his life as it is, that’s obvious and I’m not going to push.” Bucky rubs his hands down his face. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed and I’ll finish the report you need by tomorrow at lunch. I’ll present it to the King and then I’m going to go into the city for a few days.”

Bucky sleeps very restlessly that night. Dreams come to him in fragments and he tosses and turns. He’s been doing really well, but this, what this might mean, hits a little too close to Bucky’s heart. He can’t deny that he felt a pull to the man in the suit, but with everything that he’s been through, he would never ask something of someone that they wouldn’t willingly give. The man in the suit didn’t even want them to see his face, so that’s enough for Bucky to let him have his anonymity. 

The dream solidifies and Bucky hates having this dream, but tonight it’s different that all the times before.

_As he rounds the last corner to the memorial, he stops in his tracks when he finds the man in the suit staring at the statue. He turns, in a crouch, but relaxes and when he sees Bucky. Bucky’s more than a little thrown by his presence. He says something to Bucky in Wakandan, but there’s no one to translate. “I’m sorry I don’t understand you.”_

_The man makes a hand gesture that Bucky takes to mean that the man understands English. “Oh, that’s right, you understand English, but don’t speak it.” The man nods. “Well, then I guess I should leave you.” Now the man shakes his head. “Or I can stay if you want.” He nods again. “When I can’t sleep, I come here. Do you know who Captain America is?” The man nods. “I didn’t.” The man, who had gone back to staring at the statue whips around. “No, I mean, I didn’t know the icon, I knew Steve Rogers, the man. Or I sorta did anyway.”_

_The man shrugs his shoulders. Bucky takes that as a question. “I became Steve’s friend when all of this Accords stuff started. I’m sure you know about that.” He nods. “Steve and I corresponded about them and what he could do to beat them.” The man gestures at Bucky. He doesn’t know why he feels like he understands the man, even without him speaking. Bucky also doesn’t know why he keeps talking. “Anyway, he became important to me and then he…” The man nods, coming to Bucky’s side, resting a gloved hand on his arm. “So, yeah, I come here when I can’t sleep and talk to a statue.” There’s a huff from the man and Bucky swears it’s a laugh. “I think you should know that Romanov and Stark aren’t going to leave you alone about all of this.” He looks up at the mask and wishes he could see the man’s face. “Stark wants to get his hands on your tech and suit and Natasha is going to do everything she can to get you to take it off. She doesn’t like not knowing things.” Now he’s sure the man laughs. Then the man points at Bucky. “Oh…uh me, I don’t care either way. Everyone is entitled to their own lives and secrets.”_

_They part ways and the man runs off into the forest and Bucky heads back to the building. He wonders what it would be like to run with the man through the trees._

Bucky wakes the next morning feeling like he got hit by a truck.


	31. Chapter 31

Steve arrives back at the hotel from his patrol. T’Challa hasn’t seen Nakia in days and he wanted to give them time together. They had decided on the way back to the hotel that someone should patrol and make sure they aren’t being watched by agents. If that was the case, Steve was going to have to hide more than just around other people and T’Challa wasn’t comfortable with that. Steve found that no one was watching. At first he thought that there were agents in a building a block away, but it turned out to be a pervert watching a woman in the building over.

As soon as he’s in the suite, Okoye tells him the rooms are clear, so he presses the pendent. The suit melts away and he agrees with Wanda, he needs to braid his hair after his shower. He steps into the living room where T’Challa has Shuri and Wanda on screen. Shuri sees him enter and grins. “Did you run through the concrete forest with your kin, Brother?”

Steve rolls his eyes, but laughs along with everyone else. “That would mean running through the woods with you, Sister. Will you howl at the moon with me?” She looks offended and then breaks into a fit of giggles. “What do we know?”

“Stark tried to use his AI to scan the jet and all of you, but she was unable to get readings on anything. So, I hacked her to find out what’s been going on there. Ms. Romanov has been running her own searches for information about the royal family.” Wanda and Shuri both bow at that, making Steve, T’Challa, and Nakia laugh. “She is specifically looking for information on a younger brother. I planted some information in our system about an older brother.”

Wanda adds through laughter. “She’s been trying to find information on how the Kingship is passed because she can’t understand how the younger brother got the throne and not the older.”

T’Challa listens intently, but isn’t too worried about any of this. “Are you watching them?”

“Yes Brother, I have eyes on all of them.” They say their goodnights and cut the transmission. 

Steve starts to get up to shower and Nakia stops him. He sits, feeling off center. “Tell us what bothers you.”

“I patrolled and couldn’t remember why this place meant so much to me. I think I just wanted it to feel like home, but it never was, not after I came back.” He doesn’t add anything else, but of course T’Challa knows.

“Is that all, Brother?”

“No, I can’t stop thinking about Bucky.” Steve leans back on the sofa.

“He is a good man from everything that Nakia has relayed, so your trust is not misplaced. You could reveal yourself to him.” Steve knows they are right, but it’s been so long and Steve doesn’t know what kind of anger the man would feel if he knew that Steve lied to him.

“I’ll think about it, but I probably won’t do anything. He deserves a new life. A life that doesn’t have someone that deceived him.” Getting up, he goes to his room and showers. Crawling into bed, he sits up to start braiding his hair. Nakia comes in, smiling at him.

“Why do you not let me do that for you?” It’s not really a question because she’s already on the bed, working her fingers through his hair. “I like that you shaved the sides and you may want to consider cutting a little of the length off. When you can sit on your hair, it is time to trim.”

Steve barks a laugh and the door pushes open. T’Challa leans against the doorframe grinning. “I believe my love is correct. I must insist that you not sit on your own hair.”

They snicker with each other. Steve relaxes into the feel of someone else messing with his hair. Steve can feel their question before they ask. “You care about this man, yes?”

“I do. Maybe more than I should.” Nakia finished up the fishtale and secures the band around the end.

“Take a few days to consider what you wish to do.” They exit the room, arms around each other and Steve wishes that he had that. The problem is, when he imagines it, it’s always with Bucky.

He sits in the middle of his bed, thinking about everything over the last two years and how he got to this place, this extraordinary place. Besides Bucky, there’s only one string that hasn’t been tied up and he wants to do that. He feels like he owes it to the man that gave him such good advice before all this started. Grabbing his tablet, he uses the program that Shuri developed years ago, before Steve even knew her, that hides all information that could be tracked. He sends it as a text, not to the man, but to the man’s wife, who didn’t have to care how he was doing, but she did anyway.

_‘I’m okay now. I wasn’t when we last talked, but now I have family and it’s better than I thought possible. Be safe, be well loved, and walking away was the best advice anyone’s ever given me.’_

It doesn’t take long to get a response and it’s Clint that answers and not Laura. Steve wonders what that must have been like when she read the text and showed it to Clint.

_‘Well I’ll be damned. Man, I am so glad to hear all this. Live that life because there’s nothing better than family. Take care of yourself and know that you’ll always be safe with us.’_

He sleeps that night dreaming about blue/grey eyes and soft, dark brown hair. He dreams of holding a man’s heart in his hands and cherishing the trust. He dreams of Bucky chasing the kids at Steve’s farm and swimming in the lake as the sun goes down. He dreams of a life that could be, but probably never will be. Waking the following morning, he goes to the kitchen, fixing the coffee and offers to fix breakfast for everyone else. 

Okoye sees the unrest in his eyes and steps in to help. Breakfast in Wakanda is usually a light meal and that doesn’t change. Steve sits with the Dora and as they talk, he finds himself smiling and settled again. T’Challa and Nakia join them and after having a little bit to eat, Steve suits up and they head back to the Compound. They arrive to find that no one seems to be up yet, or at the very least, no one has made their way to the communal living room and kitchen. FRIDAY lets them in at the orders of Mr. Stark and Nakia starts making coffee. Bucky comes in carrying a tablet and greets them respectfully. Steve goes to the refrigerator and using his claws, swings himself up onto the top, crouching so he can see the whole floor. Bucky chuckles and gains the attention of White Wolf.

“You find my brother amusing?” T’Challa doesn’t act offended, but also amused by his brother’s antics.

Bucky’s head jerks up from what he’s working on and blushes. “I mean no disrespect Your Majesty, but I do find it amusing because I think he’s doing it to throw off the Avengers.”

T’Challa howls with laughter. “Then you understand my brother very well and you, of all people in this Compound, should call me T’Challa.” Bucky looks at him curiously. Instead of clarifying, T’Challa goes on without explanation. “You do not mind my brother testing your friends?”

Bucky speaks off-handed and that causes Steve to tilt his head. “Oh they aren’t my friends, except Sam and Darcy, you met them yesterday, I just work here for now.”


	32. Chapter 32

Bucky finds this whole thing funny because he has no reason to, but he trusts the Wakandans more than the Avengers. He looks up to see White Wolf staring and nods to the man. He gets a nod in return and it feels nice, like there’s an agreement there that’s just between them. ‘I’ll respect your space, if you respect mine.’

Natasha drags in not long after the conversation and Bucky can see she’s not nearly as put together as she normally is and finds that interesting. If he were to make a guess, he’d say she was up all night, probably trying to do things that she shouldn’t. She goes to the coffee maker and pours a cup. Instead of adding creamer, she drinks it black meaning she didn’t sleep at all. Even more interesting.

Going to the fridge, she opens it only to have White Wolf scare her into making an undignified squawk. Bucky loses it over that because she honestly didn’t know there was a man, a very large man, sitting perfectly still on top of the fridge. She glares at him, but it doesn’t even faze Bucky.

T’Challa snickers quietly and Natasha sits down across from Bucky. “Does he always do that?”

“I must apologize for my brother.” There’s a snort from the man on the fridge. T’Challa looks amused up at him. “He likes to keep watch and the higher ground is always best.”

She gets that look that Bucky recognizes as her interrogator face. “Is there a reason that, as the older brother, he didn’t take the throne?”

Bucky can tell that she means it to be a surprising question, but none of them seem put off by what’s she’s asking. White Wolf says something in Wakandan that causes Nakia to snort with laughter. Bucky watches as the two brothers bicker between themselves. He can’t understand them, but it’s still funny to watch. Looking over, Bucky sees the guards also grinning like this is normal behavior for the two brothers. T’Challa clears his throat, glaring at White Wolf. “My brother says that he would not wish my job on his worst enemy, so it is suitable that I have it.”

Bucky finds that hilarious and such a brother thing to say that he doubles over with laughter. Wiping tears from his eyes, he looks at the King. “Is he always this snarky with you?”

T’Challa grins and it’s a truly happy expression. “All the time. Between him and my little sister, I am constantly being berated.”

“You should not forget about your future sister-in-law and myself.” Nakia looks at Bucky. “We feel it necessary to remind him that he is still human. Mother finds it very entertaining.”

T’Challa rolls his eyes, but it’s all in good fun. “You would think that my own mother would defend me, but I have no such luck.” Bucky continues to snicker and give glances to the man on the fridge. He can’t see the man’s face, but he’d swear that his expression is soft and affectionate.

Tony comes in and heads straight for the coffee. “Are we ready to set everything up?” White Wolf jumps from the fridge, causing Tony to grab his chest. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

Bucky loves these people, they have such an affection for one another and that idea becomes concrete when White Wolf walks over to his brother, stands behind his chair, and places his hands on the King’s shoulders. T’Challa visibly relaxes at the touch. “I believe we are.”

Bucky stays to listen, while adding the finishing touches to the form he’s working on. Every now and then, he glances up to watch the room. White Wolf and King T’Challa may bicker, but when it comes down to it, White Wolf loves and respects the man. T’Challa looks up, saying something to White Wolf, who responds. Nakia joins in their conversation, and soon the voice of Okoye joins in. Nakia looks at Tony, who is looking at his tablet. Bucky is willing to bet that he’s trying to get FRIDAY to translate what they are saying. Fat chance of that happening. According to Nakia, in one of their many conversations, she told him that Wakandan is its own dialect and doesn’t match any other language in Africa. Tony looks up frustrated. Nakia nods at her soul mate. “White Wolf has one thing to add to your plans.”

T’Challa takes it from there. “He will not be going into the building with us. He will remain outside for later use.”

“Don’t tell me that he’s afraid to be in the fight?” Natasha is baiting them and no one takes what she’s offering.

White Wolf moves into the living room and Bucky can’t take his eyes off the man. He moves like nothing Bucky has ever seen. There’s confidence without arrogance. There’s grace, but still masculine. Bucky has no trouble believing that White Wolf is royal in every sense of the word. He stands by the far wall and presses something on the inside of his left wrist. Suddenly, he isn’t there anymore. “You see, Ms. Romanov, he isn’t afraid to fight, but he can move into the building without anyone knowing that he’s there.”

He’s suddenly there again and Bucky’s breath is taken away by what this tiny, African country can do. Things that Tony probably has only dreamed of. And speaking of Tony, “I really, really want to play around with whatever that suit is made from.”

“Perhaps someday, Mr. Stark, but today we should make sure that we can work as a unit with the plans you came up with.” The lift opens and the rest of the team comes in, including Sam, Darcy, and Phil.

Bucky finishes his report and instead of leaving to back to the city like he planned, he stays behind for a little while longer. He wants to see how the team works in conjunction with the Wakandans. Nakia changes into a suit of brilliant green and T’Challa presses the claw necklace and his suit takes shape, he becomes something else, something more. He and White Wolf stand facing each other, foreheads rested together and hands bracing biceps. They speak something in Wakandan and Bucky wishes he knew what they were saying.

Nakia comes to him, leaning into his side and whispers for only him. “This is their ritual before any fight. They are reciting their loyalty to the country, to the family, to each other. They are pledging their lives to the other and ask their ancestors for courage and honor.” 

Bucky looks at her. “Why did you tell me that?” He finds his face wet from the devotion the two brothers have for the other. 

“Because you understand.” He doesn’t really know what she means by that, but appreciates her trust anyway.

They take to the practice field and Darcy comes to stand next to Bucky and they watch how everyone moves. The Avengers move as they always have, but the brothers move like a unit that can anticipate the other’s moves. Bucky assumes that comes from training together their whole lives. What a feeling it must be to have complete and utter trust in another person. That’s how he felt about Steve. Watching for a few more minutes, he’s suddenly sad and needs to go home. He gathers his things and Alpine and leaves the Compound behind. Steve would have liked the brothers.


	33. Chapter 33

Working with the Avengers, Steve finds, is strange. He wonders if they were always like this, so prone to chaotic decisions in battle. He doesn’t remember them being like this and that in itself is strange. It’s like he left this life behind and not thinking about it made it hazy, but he also has an eidetic memory so he knows that it’s there, just not accessed like before. He waits for T’Challa’s signal, one that only he can hear because of their private com. Closing his eyes, near the roof entrance, he listens, not through either com, but with his own ears and body. Nakia is surrounded, but she’s unafraid, her heartbeat is normal and he can hear her click her teeth. That means those men are about to go down and don’t even know how much trouble they’re in. T’Challa grunts then growls, which means he let some of them get punches in to charge his suit. There’s a split second of gun fire and then silence from his brother.

‘White Wolf.’ Steve comes through the skylight, but no one can see him. He and T’Challa stand back to back when he turns the reflector off, surprising the men around them. The terrorists start making jokes about the two animals that need to be shot and mounted. The Avengers are dealing with those trying to hide in the perimeter and White Wolf and Black Panther are in the center of the building surrounded by at least thirty men with weapons. ‘Brother, the weapons are an amateur attempt at a repulsor, but do not have the same impact.’

‘Then this should be child’s play.’ They attack as one and anyone that tries to get away is taken down by Nakia. The claws come out and White Wolf and Black Panther surge the waiting men. The terrorists fire at them, but it has no affect on their suits. The beam is weak and only serves to charge the two suits. White Wolf backflips over Black Panther’s shoulders as Panther spins to protect his back. 

“Holy fucking hell.” Sam can’t get over how the men move like a lethal ballet. They do mid-air spins that shouldn’t be possible. And they never go down, even when hit by the charge of the weapons. 

When all of the men are dealt with, Tony finally speaks. “Were we even necessary? Cause I feel like we weren’t really needed.”

All of the weapons are gathered up and packed in the shipping containers with official paperwork to be returned to Wakanda. T’Challa releases just the mask of his suit and looks over at Steve. “That was easier than I believed it would be.”

Steve response in Wakandan. “It would seem we misjudged the importance of the Avengers help.”

T’Challa smirks. “Play nice, Brother.”

“Have you two ever heard of sharing the fun?” Sam isn’t upset and his intent is clear in his smile.

T’Challa shakes his hand. “We sometimes forget. But you must understand, we usually only have the two of us, so we may have forgotten.”

Natasha walks over to White Wolf. “Your brother took off his mask, why can’t you do the same?” White Wolf climbs the nearest beam and exits the way he came in. She looks at everyone left in the building. “I didn’t mean to upset him.” But her smirk tells a different story.

“Oh you did not, Ms. Romanov, he just did not see any reason to respond to your disrespectful question.” Nakia is starting to understand why leaving this place was so important for Steve. She doesn’t understand a group that needs to know what the others are doing at all times. She doesn’t understand that kind of mistrust.

Steve leaves the warehouse and heads back to the hotel. He has something that he wants to do and needs Okoye’s help. As he enters through the basement level, he makes his way up through the lift shaft. Waving his hand over the key card reader, it turns green and he enters. By the time he’s out of the shower, trimmed his beard, and cleaned up the shaved sides of his hair, Okoye enters with the other two women. She looks at Steve, wrapped in a robe and waiting. “What is all this?” Her head is tilted like she knows he’s up to something that isn’t on the agenda.

“I need your help.” His look is pleading and she has no willpower against it.

“What do you need?” When Steve steps out of the suite, his hair is braided in a more intricate fishtale than the night before. He wears dark wash jeans and a white Henley. Making his way silently to the roof, he touches the pendent, running across the roof, he leaps for the adjoining building. “Shuri?”

Her voice is a happy chirp. “White Wolf, what can I do for you?”

“I need you to find me the address for Dr. James Barnes.” There’s a squeal on the other end and he’s sure it’s both Shuri and Wanda.

Giving him the address, she talks to him all the way there. Once he’s across the street, looking at the correct apartment, he starts to cut the connection. “Brother, it is possible that his apartment is bugged. You must be careful.”

“Don’t worry, Okoye gave me one of your disruptors.” She giggles. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He hears her start to make an inappropriate comment, so he cuts the com. A man does not need to hear his little sister give advice on sex. It just isn’t right. Touching the wrist of his left arm, his suit reflects what’s around it. He leaves the roof he’s on and makes his way to the roof of the other building. The door to the apartment is electronic, so Steve places his palm on it and it clicks open. If that’s the type of lock it has, then it’s definitely bugged. Either Stark or Bucky’s friends want to keep him safe, as does Steve, but they don’t need to know anything about this visit. Just inside the door he turns the disruptor on and places it on the coffee table, it clones the video and audio feed and starts a loop that doesn’t include Steve sneaking in and continues the white noise of the apartment. 

Making his way down the hall, he slowly opens the bedroom door and stands inside the room, watching the man sleep. It took time and too much self-reflection for Steve to understand, he is in love with Dr. James Barnes. He wanted to call it friendship and companionship when he needed it, but once he started the painting, he knew what he was feeling. It was his love for the man reflected back. He just hopes he can make him understand all of this and someday, once Bucky is past his anger, he’ll let Steve back into his life.

Going to the bed, he sits carefully on the side. Reaching out, he touches Bucky’s shoulder. The man jumps and scoots away. Steve holds up his hands, but he’s sure it’s scary to wake up with a human shaped White Wolf staring at you. When Bucky sees who it is using the little light that’s coming from the streetlight outside, he relaxes. “Is it done? Did you get it done?”

Steve thinks about what he’s about to do. In all of his life, he’s never been as scared as he is in this moment, but he takes a breath and speaks…in English. “Yes, it’s done.”

Bucky does a double take at that. “You speak English?”

White Wolf needs to start somewhere, so he keeps going. “I had to be sure that no one else knew who I was. I have a life now. I have a family now. I’m just missing one thing.”

Bucky sits up completely, swallows hard and looks at White Wolf nervously. “What’s that?”

“You.” Steve taps the pendent and the mask melts away. He keeps his head lowered, hands shaking worse than when he was a kid having an asthma attack. Slowly he looks up, tears in his eyes and breathing erratic. “Please forgive me. I didn’t have a choice.”

Bucky looks like he’s seen a ghost and for him that’s exactly what’s happening. Reaching over, he turns on the lamp to make sure he’s not crazy. It’s definitely Steve, but different. His hair is long, down his back even in the braid and the sides of his head are shaved. The beard is trimmed, but the eyes are the same. He’s the most beautiful thing that Bucky’s ever seen. Without thought or reservation, he throws himself into Steve’s arms. “Oh god, Steve…how…I don’t…” Nothing comes out complete because he’s started crying. Leaning away, Bucky starts pulling at the suit. “Get this off.”

Steve touches the pendent and the suit melts away. Bucky takes his hands, strong and sure, and links their fingers. The burning isn’t what it was before. It’s just a mild warming of the skin, but both men look at their arms. “Wha…”

There’s a squeak from the door and Buck looks over, then back at Steve’s arm. “You have Alpine on your arm.”

Tears are streaming down his face and Steve reaches up to wipe them away and Bucky does the same. When Steve catches his arm, Bucky freezes. “You have a white wolf.”

Bucky nods feverishly, sniffling, but smiling. “Yeah.” They have eyes now, both in different shades of blue. The cat jumps on the bed, walking up to Bucky. Steve reaches over, petting his head. 

Looking back at Bucky, Steve looks pained. “I need to explain.”

“You can if you want, but I don’t really care why. I’m just glad you’re here.” Steve’s eyes snap up. “I don’t think you understand how lost I’ve been without you.”

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I really am, but I didn’t know what else to do and honestly, it’s been good. I have a family and a home.” He looks pleadingly at Bucky, hoping it makes sense.

“You did the right thing, Steve. It was the only way to make them stop looking for you.” Steve’s shaking his head violently.

“I didn’t do it for that.” He sobs, looks up, locking eyes with Bucky. “I did it so they would stop coming after you.”

Bucky can tell that he wants to clear the air between them, but he was serious when he said that he didn’t need that. Not only is Steve alive and here, but he’s the one that Bucky’s been waiting for, his soul mate. “Tell me about your life, your new life, the life that I’m going to be part of.”

Steve looks up hopeful. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now tell me.” Bucky pulls him up, so Steve’s reclining against the headboard, Bucky lays down on his side, one arm tucked up under the pillow, one clinging to Steve, Alpine on his hip, and Steve starts talking about everything that happened after he left. When Steve has finished telling him everything, Bucky returns the favor and tells Steve about everything that he’s been through. It’s nearly six when they have nothing left to say. Steve snuggles down into the bed, facing Bucky.

Reaching out, he caresses the man’s cheek. “There’s one more thing that you should know.”

Bucky’s eyes are fighting to stay open. “What’s that?”

“I love you. I think I have for two years.” Bucky smiles brighter than the sun coming through the window.

“I love you too and I’m pretty sure I have since I realized it was you sending me emails.” Steve beams at him. “I think you might want to kiss me now.”

There’s nothing hurried about the kiss. It starts with small, soft pecks against Bucky’s lip. They progress from there into desperate, life affirming, slightly feral kisses with Steve rolling himself on top of Bucky. The man under him clings like his life depends on it and maybe it does, maybe for two years his life has been out of balance and this is what he needed. Steve doesn’t question it, their soul marks bind them together and that’s all he needs. The last piece of his family falls into place.

As much as Steve wants to continue what they are doing, he knows that now isn’t the right time. Pulling back, Steve can’t believe he gets to have this with the person he wanted, before he knew about their marks. “Buck?”

Bucky is still panting, really wanting to go back to their previous activity. “Yeah?”

“I want you to come to Wakanda with me.” It’s a ridiculous thing to say because Bucky has a life here, but Steve can’t stay here and it’s worth a shot.

“Okay. When?” This man that should hate him for what he did, keeps surprising him.

“A couple of days.”

“I’ll pack what I need.” Bucky can tell that Steve’s surprised and just starts laughing. Before long, Steve’s laughter joins in.


	34. Chapter 34

Bucky drives to the Compound knowing that Steve and his family will be arriving around lunch. Steve left just after eight, taking the disruptor with him. Bucky hadn’t known that the bugs were there, but shouldn’t have been surprised. He doesn’t know if Sam and Darcy did it or if Tony did it, the fact that it was done is upsetting. Someone still wants eyes on him. If it’s Sam and Darcy, it’s probably done to make sure nothing happens to him. If it’s Tony or Natasha, it’s done because they want to keep tabs on their asset. Either way, it was a step too far for Bucky’s taste. 

The biggest challenge today is going to be not going straight to Steve and letting the man wrap him in his arms. They stayed in bed until Steve had to leave, talking and kissing…a lot. After everything he’s been through, Bucky is surprised at how being surrounded by and under Steve feels so natural. Maybe that’s the bond, maybe it’s just the way things are. There’s no one that he trusts more than Steve and this is just a new aspect of how he felt before.

Parking in his usual spot, Bucky exits the car with his messenger bag and Alpine. Once in the building, he puts the little furball down and lets him follow him up the stairs and into the communal area. And being the little asshole that he is, Alpine goes straight to the book shelf that Steve is perched on, overlooking the room. The cat stretches up on his hind legs, waving a paw at White Wolf. The room stops to watch the interaction and the King and Nakia find it amusing. Alpine waves his paw like he’s asking to come up and White Wolf waves his hand, inviting him to climb. Finally, Alpine climbs the book shelf and gets on White Wolf’s shoulder. They both sit perfectly still staring at the room.

When Bucky looks over, White Wolf tilts his head, looking very much like an overgrown puppy. Behind that mask Bucky is sure that Steve is grinning at him. “Would someone tell me what’s happening?”

Tony finds this whole situation disturbing and Bucky just shrugs. “I guess dogs and cats can get along.”

Nakia loses her cool and begins laughing, leaning into T’Challa’s side. Okoye and the other guards are snickering as quietly as possible, but it’s T’Challa that can’t help himself. “Brother, the people of Wakanda will talk.” The room, including the Avengers, fall into hysterics when White Wolf shoots the finger at his brother.

Neither protector, crouched on the shelf, moves or gives any indication that they care. Nakia comes over, hugging Bucky, surprising the Avengers, but no one else. “The report you put together is going to make this business very easy to deal with.”

“It was my pleasure to help.” She takes his arm leading him to the kitchen where she gets two mugs and starts pouring them coffee. Leaning into his side, she whispers. “It pleases us greatly that you will be joining your Wolf.”

“Not as much as it pleases me.” Bucky looks over at Steve, who is watching them. “I’ve waited a very long time for this.”

She nudges him and he breaks out of his reverie to go to the fridge for creamer. Going back into the living room he takes a chair nearest to White Wolf. They discuss the documents that Bucky prepared which simply stated mean that Wakanda has the only claim on the guns because they are made from stolen property of that country. They also state, as Nakia insisted, that the guns will be destroyed in Wakanda and the vibranium used for more beneficial purposes. It also states, also because of Nakia, that Wakandan aircraft will arrive the following morning to take possession of the shipping containers that contain the weapons. After the aircraft leaves, the royal family will as well.

After that review, Bucky heads to his office with Alpine following. He knows that Steve is watching him leave, but can’t do anything about it. Once in his office, Bucky sits down to write out a couple of things. One he’ll leave here in his office, the other he will leave at his apartment.

_Tony,_

_I told you that this was a temporary job for me, you didn’t believe me. This is my resignation. Thank you for giving me something to do while I figured out what I wanted. I know what that is now and I have to go find it._

_Bucky_

The other is a little more complicated. The other Sam and Darcy will find and it won’t be easy for them.

_Sam and Darce,_

_By the time you find this, I’ll be gone already. That isn’t what it sounds like, but this is a goodbye. I told you that what I wanted to do wasn’t up for discussion and this isn’t either. I’m not hurting and I’m not searching. I found what I was looking for and now I have to go live it. You’ve both been friends to me and I know you’ll search for me, but I’m not going to be anywhere that you will be able to find me. If you are my friend, don’t search. I’m better than I’ve been in a long time. I’m happy. Really, truly happy._

_Bucky_

Bucky sits back in his chair, leaning his head against the rest and stares up at nothing. Alpine is curled up in the chair in the corner and purrs contentedly. How did all this happen? It seems like a journey to get Bucky to a place where he not only accepted what’s happened, but he’s okay with it. He doesn’t care that he thought Steve was dead and now he’s not. He doesn’t care that he’s walking away from a pretty good life. Because when he walks away, he walks away with Steve in the way that he’s been wanting for those years. He thinks of Steve and everything he had to go through to have a life that he never dreamed he would have. And through everything, he walks into Bucky’s room last night and they are the soul mate the other has been hoping for.

He wants so bad to talk to T’Challa and Nakia. He wants to know them the way Steve does, he wants to be part of that family. Walking away is a no brainer. The tablet on his desk beeps. Looking down, he sees an icon where there wasn’t one before. It’s blinking at him, so he presses it thinking it’s probably something Tony installed. When it opens, it gives him instructions to follow and it’s signed ‘Your new little sister.’

Grinning, Bucky does exactly what the instructions say and a hologram of Wanda projects above his desk. She’s got tears in her eyes and a smile so wide that Bucky can’t help but match it. “Bucky.”

“Wanda.” Then he gets concerned. “This is probably being monitored.”

Another face comes into frame, grinning like a lunatic. “Not if you did everything the icon told you.” Bucky nods, wondering what’s going on. “And since my soul mate seems to have forgotten her manners, I am Shuri, sister to White Wolf and Black Panther.”

Bucky smiles. Steve told him all about these two and how Shuri is the brains behind all of their tech. “It is a pleasure to meet you and I guess I will be seeing you soon.” He looks over at Wanda. “It’s really good to see you.”

“You have no idea how happy you’ve made Steve. He’s been on com all morning telling us everything. I think you made him sad when you left the communal floor to go to your office.” Bucky laughs.

“If I didn’t I was going to go jump into his arms.” Wanda nods and Shuri gets a devilish grin.

“You mean again, do you not Dr. Barnes?” Bucky can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him again. He just blushes and nods. “I did not contact you just harass you about my brother, but to also explain what you will have to do tonight so you are prepared for tomorrow.” They talk for nearly 30 minutes and then sign off. According to Shuri that was about as much time as she could hack Stark before he knew about it.

By mid-afternoon, Bucky was going stir crazy, but couldn’t leave yet. He had to make everything look normal. So, he takes a walk around the grounds to stretch his legs. He notices that the practice field has been cleaned up from the mock battle the day before. What he doesn’t expect is for White Wolf to join him on his walk. He’s carrying a soccer ball with him. Bucky can’t get over how different he is, how open emotionally, how he moves like a different person, but in his eyes, he’s still Steve. He just wishes that he could see his eyes through the mask. “Where did you get a soccer ball?”

White Wolf looks around, seeing that no one is outside but the two of them and one of the guards, he goes ahead and answers. “It was on our jet. We get bored sometimes.” 

Steve drops the ball to the ground and they immediately started pushing and trying to trip the other. It’s the worst game of soccer every played, but the laughing and teaching makes it the best game that Bucky’s ever played. Bucky steals the ball and kicks it down the field and Steve goes chasing after it. He beats Bucky by quite a bit and it turns into an all out war at that point: shoving, dodging, and laughter ringing through the field.

They don’t see Tony standing outside the door with the others, so they don’t hear his comment. “Is it just me or is Barnes playing ball with a dog?”

T’Challa bellows with laughter, as do the others. “It would seem that my brother has made a friend.” He shares a side glance with Nakia.

“Well, at least someone got your brother to get off the book shelf.” Tony makes his way back inside, but everyone else starts cheering for their favorite player. Steve and Bucky look up, Bucky blushing, but continuing to play. Bucky steals the ball and heads down field with it only to be tackles by White Wolf. Sam starts calling foul on the play as the two men roll around fighting over the ball.

Bucky makes his way home later that evening, having left the note for Tony on his desk. When he arrives home, he knows that Steve is already there. The disruptor is already in place and Steve comes out the bedroom, wrapped in a towel. “Hey, I didn’t expect you back so quick.”

Bucky looks at the man in front of him and really wants to climb him like a tree, but holds himself back. The night before had been heavy making out, but Steve didn’t push for anything else, but seeing him in nothing but a towel is making Bucky’s mind wander to what’s under the towel. Alpine hustles over to him and Steve bends to pick him up. Something about this mountain of a man cradling ten pounds of fluffy cat just makes Bucky soft inside. “Obviously, since you’re…well…”

“Oh yeah, but after our soccer match I needed a shower.” He comes over, crowding into Bucky’s space. “You don’t mind do you?” His voice seems lower and rougher than before. It does things to Bucky’s insides, things that he hasn’t had happen since Steve ‘died.’

Bucky tries to speak, but can’t get any words out. Alpine wiggles to get down and Steve releases him. Bucky clears his throat. “Uh…no…no I don’t mind.” Bucky looks down, blushing and his eyes wander to his mark. The beautiful wolf, with deep blue eyes, is standing in front of him and he has no reason not to grab hold and never let go. “I’m going to…uh…go shower.” Steve smirks like he knows exactly what Bucky thinking.

Bucky spends a little extra time in the bathroom before getting in the shower. This is happening. He’s found his soul mate, it’s the person that he wanted it to be, and something really spectacular is about to happen if he’s judging correctly. Something he’s dreamed about happening, but never admitted to anyone. He comes out and finds Steve lounging on the bed, smiling contentedly. He’s never seen that smile before. Most of the time, it was that Captain America smile. Bucky freezes because the man in front of him isn’t Captain America and never will be again. The man in front of him is Steve, his Steve. “Buck? You okay? We don’t…”

Steve doesn’t get to finish because Bucky throws himself at the man in his bed. “I love you. And I see you.” He runs his hands down Steve’s chest, going low enough to pull the towel away. “Holy jesus, how are you this beautiful?” Steve rolls them putting Bucky under him.

Steve’s breathing comes in pants and Bucky moves his towel out of the way too. “I feel like I dreamed you.” Bucky looks up into Steve’s eyes. “I loved you and couldn’t tell you. I loved you through all of it. When I thought about my soul mate, I wanted it to be you. I needed it to be you.”

Bucky leans in, caressing across Steve’s chest, fingers running through the long strands of his dark blond hair hanging over Steve’s shoulder. “I didn’t want anyone else. Sam and Darcy would ask me if I was going to look for my soul mate, but I didn’t want to. The one I wanted wasn’t here anymore.” He doesn’t mean to, but before he knows it, sobs wrack his body. Steve holds him through it, apologizing over and over. Bucky leans up, tears on his face and his hair a mess of tangles down his back, but takes Steve’s face in his hands. “I know why you did it and I’m not mad. This…this is just me getting all of that out.”

“I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making sure you know I’m here.” Bucky leans in, kissing his heart with everything he has to give.

“Start now…right now.” Steve presses down touching every part of Bucky that he can. The hard muscles of Steve’s body become smooth and soft under Bucky’s touch. As Steve leans over to the bedside table, his hair brushes against Bucky’s chest. “I like your hair this way.”

Steve turns, smiling. “I’m glad and we match. It’s a good thing I have a lot of hair ties at home.” Bucky chuckles. Bucky spreads his legs, letting Steve settle between them, and pulls his knees up. “You’re so beautiful.” It’s the last of the conversation with the exception of ‘I love you’ being chanted over and over and the cry of one name or the other. 


	35. Chapter 35

Steve makes a call later that night and within the hour a black SUV pulls up to the curb outside Bucky’s building. With Shuri’s help, once they make it into the Compound, they continue on foot without anyone knowing. Steve is back in his While Wolf suit, just in case, and gets Bucky onto the jet. They curl up together on the bed in the back upper level. Alpine curls up on Bucky’s chest and Steve pets down his side. “Are you sure about this?” Bucky looks over confused. “Are you sure you ready to leave behind this life?”

Bucky chuckles. “Steve, I’ve been ready to leave this life behind since I met you over two years ago. Now I have that option and I’m taking it.” Steve hovers over him and Bucky reaches up, cupping his cheek. “Steve, in case you don’t get it, I love you and this is my chance to be happy and walk away from a life that stopped making sense.”

“I can’t come back here, ever. I just don’t want you to regret that.” Drawing him down, Bucky kisses him sweetly.

“I have no regrets about this and I won’t have any regrets about this.” They sleep until morning when Steve’s Kimoyo Bead wakes them with a chirp.

“White Wolf you are late.” Nakia doesn’t sound upset, just amused. Steve gets up, leaving Bucky in bed with Alpine and suits up. 

He exits the jet where everyone is waiting. The goodbyes are quick and less painful that Steve thought they would be. Tony asks if T’Challa is ever going to let others into his country, Natasha tells White Wolf that she’s going to find out what his face looks like, Darcy asks if they can send her a Wakandan man built like White Wolf, and Sam just shakes their hands and wishes them well. They board the jet and Okoye takes the pilot seat. Steve waits until they are safely in the air and out over the ocean before he touches the pendent. 

Bucky comes out of the bedroom with Alpine in his arms. Steve turns to him smiling. “Are you ready to go home?”

The smile that breaks out is luminescent. “I’ve been ready for days.”

“Let me introduce you to everyone properly.” He takes Bucky’s arm and leads him to his brother. “T’Challa, this is Bucky, my soul mate.” Alpine wiggles and jumps down to go and bother one of the guards. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how I should greet you.” T’Challa laughs and pulls Bucky into a hug.

“You are the soul mate of my brother, you are family.” Bucky blushes and looks at Steve. Nakia doesn’t wait and hugs him as well.

“We are good friends already, are we not Bucky?” Bucky nods. Steve drags him to the pilot seat and Okoye looks up, with a quirked eyebrow.

“I know you don’t do this kind of thing, but you have to, so stop looking at me like that.” She tries to glare at him, but it changes into a smile. “Okoye is the General of the Royal Guard and the one that trained me in combat. Okoye, this is Bucky, Dr. James B. Barnes.”

She inclines her head. “It is a pleasure to meet the soul mate of my best pupil.” 

Bucky looks up at Steve. “Didn’t you already know how to fight?”

Okoye grins. “No, he absolutely did not.” There is talking and laughter and Bucky doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy, but still nervous. Steve never lets go of him and he wouldn’t want him to.

When they enter African Airspace, Steve pulls Bucky to the window. “You have to see this, because it never gets old.” A voice speaking in Wakandan comes over the com and Okoye brings up the screen to input the coordinates. 

Once in, she looks over her shoulder. “The transports arrived earlier with the weapons.” T’Challa nods and watches his brother and beloved.

Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand when it looks like they’re going to fly into the tops of trees, but when they break through the barrier, Bucky sucks in a breath. “Oh my god.”

“Welcome home, Buck.” Steve wraps his arm around Bucky and lets the man lean into him. He knows how this can affect someone that isn’t prepared for it. They land minutes later and Bucky bends down to pick up Alpine, who’s made friends with everyone. He puts him into the carrier, zipping it. Steve takes his hand and leads him down the ramp. “Mother will want to greet you, but you have to get through Wanda and Shuri first.”

The squeals tell Bucky about the level of excitement. Before he knows it, Steve takes the carrier so that Wanda can throw herself at Bucky. “Bucky! I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t wait to show you everything.”

“Now wait just a minute, I will be showing him what he needs to see.” The voice is Shuri and she takes Wanda’s place hugging him. “The most important thing that you have to see is my lab. It is the only thing worthwhile.”

“Shuri!” She looks embarrassed. Bucky is sure that this gorgeous woman is their mother. He’s intimidated in a way that he can’t remember ever being.

“Sorry, Mother.” The woman comes forward, arms extended, smiling blindingly.

“You are most welcome here, Dr. Barnes. You bring a light to my son’s eyes that a mother dreams of seeing.” She takes his face between her hands. “Welcome home, my son.” She gives her blessing with a kiss to his forehead. “Steven, you have done well, he is quite lovely.”

Steve hugs her. “He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” She laughs delighted.

T’Challa gets a hug too and he whispers something to his mother and she chuckles. Nakia is next and revels in this contented family. “We will dine first and then each of you,” Ramonda points at Nakia, Bucky, and Steve. “Will sleep for as long as you need.” She points at T’Challa. “Except you, tomorrow you must deal with the Mountain Tribe. They are bellowing about something else now.”

T’Challa rolls his eyes. “If M’Baku is not bellowing about something, he is not happy.”

Bucky freezes for just a second and Steve stops to check in. The group also stops concerned that Dr. Barnes isn’t well. “Jesus…your brother is the King!”

Steve laughs joyously. “Yes, he is.”

Ramonda gets an evil twinkle that looks a lot like the one Shuri gets. “And you are royal now too young man, so make us proud.” 

Bucky looks up at Steve, terrified. “I’m what?”


	36. Chapter 36

Dinner turns out to be more of a family affair than Bucky anticipates. The Royal family of Wakanda are just like anyone else sitting around a dinner table and that’s another thing that Bucky isn’t expecting, it’s a dinner table. It seats all of them comfortably, but it isn’t the big, ostentatious, upper class situation that he thought, it’s a round, intimate thing with bowls of some of the best food that Bucky’s ever had. Ramonda cooks everything, with the help of her children, while Bucky and Wanda sit at the counter watching and laughing at the antics of the family dynamic. T’Challa and Steve bicker with Shuri and Nakia and on occasion Ramonda will call them out for their behavior. Bucky feels…out of place suddenly. It isn’t until Wanda reaches over, covering his hand with her own, that he realizes that he was letting that show.

She draws him out of his thoughts, while pulling him into the adjoining room. Steve looks up like he wants to follow, but Wanda shakes her head to tell him that she’s got this. They stand near a window in a sitting room with a family portrait staring down at them. It’s Ramonda, the previous King, who Bucky doesn’t know, T’Challa, and Shuri. They look regal, but kind. “What weighs on you?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that question because suddenly everything weighs on him. He got here through a series of unfortunate events, not that he’d seen it that way before, but it is the truth of the matter. “I don’t know.” She looks at him disbelieving, like she knows what’s happening inside his head. “Everything, I guess.” He might as well fess up to this or it will continue to weigh on him.

She looks down into the garden, arms around her middle, seeming in thought. “When we first came here, I stayed in my room most of the time. I knew I was an outsider, but more than that, I came here to hide from things I couldn’t wrap my brain around. People I trusted had turned their backs on me, locked me into a place I had called home and treated me like I didn’t understand my own mind.”

“How long before you started to feel like you were at home here?” The chuckle that comes out of her isn’t pleasant, it’s sad. That doesn’t bode well for Bucky in this situation. He thinks about Sam and Darcy finding the letter in his apartment. He thinks about how they had been his most trusted companions and then having the bottom fall out of that. He thinks about how it felt to be truly alone after Steve died, after he was tortured, after he found out that Sam and Darcy weren’t who he thought. He thinks about just hours ago how sure he was, but now seeing how this truly is a family and Steve is part of that, it feels bigger than Bucky anticipated.

“Much longer than I would like to admit. I isolated myself at first, but tried to put on a brave face for Steve.” She looks back at the kitchen, knowing that Steve is watching and puzzling out if he’s forced Bucky into something he wasn’t ready for. “Shuri drew me out. At the time we didn’t know that we were soul mates because my mark hadn’t come in yet.”

“She seems like a wonderful person. You’re lucky to have her.” He looks down at his own mark and thinks about the night the eyes came in. He thinks about Steve and how much the man has changed. Everything that he knew about him before is obsolete now. He’s someone completely different and Bucky has to learn about him all over again.

“You are lucky to have Steve too. And not who he was before, but this Steve.” Wanda huffs a laugh. “I liked the Steve from before because he was selfless, strong, and stable, but I love this Steve because he knows when to be selfish, to have the things that he wants. He’s still selfless with us, his family, but he’s different, softer, and I think better looking.” She giggles at her own words.

Bucky can’t help the blush or the giggle that erupts from inside. “I have to admit, his appearance threw me, but I like that he’s comfortable with himself and that is the biggest…turn on.”

She smirks at him knowingly. “And you? Are you comfortable with who you are now?” She’s watching him closely and can feel the eyes of her family on them both.

“I’m not sure who I am now. I know that I wasn’t comfortable with myself. I felt lost and alone. But the further I got from the trauma, the better I was. Grounded almost in knowing that I couldn’t be that person anymore.” The words twist something inside because they’re true. He knew that he was different after the kidnapping, that he didn’t know what he wanted anymore, that he changed into someone he did understand, a person that was sure they needed a change.

“Wakanda is a wonderful place to find out who you are and what you want.” Bowls are being carried to the table now and Wanda pulls him towards the others. “We will eat, you will get some rest, and tomorrow you can start to find out who you want to be here, not who you are expected to be there.”

They are put in the same room that was Steve’s when he first came. Wanda doesn’t sleep next door anymore, she sleeps in Shuri’s room. They are young, but they are still soul mates. As they enter the room, Bucky finds Alpine curled on the bed, watching him intently. “Hey sweetheart, how are you finding your new room?” He sits on the bed and Alpine crawls into his lap. Bucky strokes his fur, scratching between his ears. “Think you can get used to this?”

Steve opens the adjoining door between the two bedrooms. Bucky looks up and Steve seems to be shifting nervously from foot to foot. “I…un…know this is all new…strange…so if you want to sleep…you know…next door, that’s okay.”

Bucky tilts his head to the side, confused by Steve’s offer. “Why would I want to do that?”

Steve comes over, kneeling in front of Bucky and without thought, Bucky reaches out, just to touch him. Running his fingers along the braid over Steve’s shoulder. “You’ve given up everything to be here and I don’t want you to feel like I’m never going to give you your own space again. I just thought that if you needed space I’m happy to give that to you.”

“I don’t want space from you.” He runs his fingers along Steve’s furrowed brow. Steve closes his eyes and hums. It makes Bucky smile at how content he seems. “You are so much more beautiful than I ever expected.” Steve locks eyes with him. “This is all new and a little scary, but being here with you is what makes sense to me.”

“Then I’ll stay with you until you tell me to give you space.” Steve takes Bucky’s hand from his face, kissing the inside of his wrist. “Just always tell me what you need and I’ll make sure you have it.”

“Then I need a shower.” Steve barks a laugh, pulling Bucky from the bed and into the bathroom. Slowly and meticulously, he undresses Bucky as the shower heats up. Opening the door, he guides Bucky under the water and steps back. Steve doesn’t hide the way his gaze lingers over all parts of the man he loves. “You aren’t going to join me?”

“I…I didn’t want to…assume.” Bucky smiles, leaning his head back, he lets the water wet his hair. He never meant to let it get so long, but now, at the center of his back, it moves in waves with the waters motion. Steve stands mesmerized by what he sees. “Jesus…”

Bucky looks up grinning. “You’re still dressed, Steve. Why are you still dressed?” Steve nearly falls over, pulling his clothes away, discarding them on the floor and stepping into the shower. He steps up to Bucky, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him against his body. Bucky reaches behind him, undoing the hair tie and running his fingers through the braid to release it. “The one thing I’m certain about in all of this, is you. You never have to doubt that wherever it is, I want to be there with you.”

Steve leans in, taking Bucky’s lips with his own. Raising his head, he looks searchingly into Bucky’s eyes, then leans his forehead to rest again the brunette’s. “What makes us individuals compliments the other, but we are still one.” To Bucky it sounds like a vow of some kind and wonders if it’s something from the Wakandan culture. He has so much to learn and understand, but for now, he has Steve in his arms and he’s not going to waste this moment.


	37. Chapter 37

T’Challa lets M’Baku rant for far too long. He’s been at it for nearly 20 minutes, but the King has learned to let the man have his say before trying to reason with him. Speak too early and M’Baku will start the rant all over again. It’s exhausting being King when this is what he’s put through. T’Challa loves his cousin deeply, but the man is infuriating.

This morning at breakfast, Shuri stood behind Bucky, braiding his hair, while Wanda had done the same to Steve. T’Challa had reveled in this family that he is lucky to have, Wakanda is lucky to have. It warmed all part of who he is: man, King, Black Panther. Realizing that he hasn’t been listening, he refocuses his attention on his cousin.

“It was one thing to bring that witch here for she is the soul mate to your sister. I accepted that you brought Steven here because he offered his protection alongside our people and he was accepted by the great king’s of our past, but now…now you bring in another white man that means nothing to this country. What next, cousin, next you will open our borders and let them take what they want!”

As if on cue, but very much unexpected, the door to the council chamber opens and Steve comes in with Bucky. They both stop in their tracks, realizing that someone is still present. “Oh, I do apologize for this intrusion, Your Majesty. I was not aware that you were still holding counsel.” Steve is always formal when in this chamber. In this room, his brother is king.

T’Challa almost looks relieved by the interruption. “Please, join us.” He indicates the council seats on either side of him. Steve seats Bucky to T’Challa’s left and takes the seat to his right. Normally, Steve would have excused them and left, but there must be a reason that T’Challa wants them here.

“So, now you disrespect me by bringing my grievance to stare me in the face?” M’Baku looks like he’s going to implode with this new development.

“You are a brave and honorable man, Cousin. You lead your tribe for the benefit of the people, so it seems to me that if you have something to say about my brother’s soul mate, you should be able to say those words to them as well.” Steve realizes the challenge when he hears it. He had talked to T’Challa this morning and knew what this meeting was about. He really did think it was over though and didn’t mean to invade the council chamber. He was simply giving Bucky a tour of the palace.

Bucky’s faced evil in his life, he’s looked it in the eye and understood the horrendous gaze looking back at him. This man has contempt for him. This man is angry, but Bucky can accept angry. “Outsiders have no place here. There is nothing they want more than to exploit what we have.”

“But does not his status as White Wolf’s soul mate afford him a place here?” M’Baku looks at his king, defiance clear in his expression.

“If he had looked, White Wolf could have found a mate here, someone to be happy with. Going outside our borders was not a necessity.” The man looks again at Bucky, almost in a dismissive way. “He is not a warrior, he will bring nothing of honor to us, he is soft, he does not understand pain and strife.”

T’Challa starts to speak, but Bucky opens his mouth. “You know nothing about me, but you judge me.”

M’Baku tries to ignore him and starts talking again. “You know nothing of hardship and grief.”

Something inside of Bucky snaps and he’s standing, facing off against a man so much bigger than himself. “You know nothing of who I am, or what I’ve been through.” Bucky pulls his shirt over his head, revealing the scars that he tries so hard to hide. “When they thought I knew where my soul mate was, they took me, electrocuted me until the bindings holding me cut permanent marks into my skin they beat me until I couldn’t walk and even drugged I never told them what they wanted.” Bucky scoops his shirt off the floor and heads to the door with a stunned T’Challa and Steve watching him go. “Before you start throwing around words like hardship and grief, honor and strife, learn who you’re talking to!” He opens the door and looks back at an even angrier M’Baku. “Before you judge someone, you better damn well know who the fuck you’re dealing with!”

Steve is a trained warrior now, but in that moment, he’s nothing more than a puddle of goo on the council floor. He knows something snapped inside his Bucky, but it was also a glimpse of the man breaking out of his shell. He took on the Chief of the Mountain Tribe and left everyone speechless in his wake. When M’Baku looks back to the King for support of his bruised ego, T’Challa just smirks.

“You must understand that when the fates choose those who will be soul mates, there are no mistakes made. Dr. Barnes may not meet with your approval, Cousin, but he seems to be a formidable mate for my Brother. I have heard your concerns, but you do not dictate what fate has deemed worthy.” T’Challa looks at Steve and nods.

Steve bolts from the room, following his heart to the man that Steve doesn’t think he will ever be worthy of. He finds Bucky in the garden and envelopes him in a hug. “You were amazing. I love you so much.”

“How angry is your brother?” Steve pulls away looking into frightened eyes. 

“Are you kidding? He’s just as proud of you as I am!” That seems to surprise Bucky, but he gives a watery smile. “You did nothing wrong in there. You defended yourself and me…and us.”


	38. Chapter 38

Nearing lunchtime, Steve and Bucky are taken to Steve’s farm. When they arrive, the children are there tending to the goats and garden. Bucky isn’t surprised by the hut, but he is very surprised by the inside of the hut. The kids congregate in the doorway, watching White Wolf and his mate. “This is…this is not what I expected.”

Steve laughs and the kids giggle. “It was a surprise to me too, but I found out later that all the village huts are like this. The outside it meant to be deceiving.” The littlest girl, Rilli, tugs on Steve’s robes. She says something to him that makes him smile. “Rilli wants to know if you will let her play with your hair.”

Bucky smiles at her, coming over so she can touch the braid. Her eyes get really big and she says something to Steve. “What did she say?”

Steve beams proudly at him. “She’s says that your hair is as soft as your eyes.” She wiggles down and the kids go to play. “Soft eyes here mean you are trusted and kind.” Steve pulls him to the bedroom.

Bucky is stunned by the size of the bed. Throwing himself onto it, he sighs at how comfortable it is. “I may spend a week enjoying this bed.”

Steve comes over, crawling over him. “We can do that. I’ll have to get up to take care of the goats and garden, oh and the kids will want their art lessons too.”

“You give the kids art lessons?” Steve blushes, but nods. “You are a special man, Steve Rogers.”

“I’m okay.” He leans in kissing Bucky. “I’m glad that you think so though.” He watches Bucky watching him and gets curious. “Buck?” Bucky hums in response, never taking his eyes off Steve. He seems to be looking at every nuance of the blond man. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Now Bucky looks confused. “Tell you what?”

Steve’s unsure of how he wants to ask this, but decides that honest and direct is the best way. “Why didn’t you tell me where the scars came from?”

Bucky closes his eyes, centering his thoughts. Of course Steve was going to want to know and he deserves to know. Secrets aren’t something that Bucky wants to deal with between them. “Because they are a part of who I am now and I really didn’t think about them.” Bucky watches Steve process that information. “Listen, it happened and I can’t change it and neither can you. I tried talking to someone about it at the suggestion of Sam, but I just couldn’t make them understand what that was like. It’s really hard to make someone understand what it feels like to be in a position of no control.” He sighs. “It’s also hard to make someone understand that I would have gone through it again and again if it kept you safe. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have nightmares still because I do. It doesn’t mean that there are times, that for no reason, I get scared.”

“Well you didn’t show any fear this morning.” Bucky snickers and Steve grins at him because it’s so damn cute. “Do you blame me?”

Bucky rolls onto his back, placing his hands on his stomach. “You know, one of the therapists asked me that and I got up and walked out. Don’t make me walk out on you, Steve.” Bucky rolls back to his side to look at Steve again. “I never once, even when I was in a really bad place, blamed you for what happened to me. I blamed them and for a little while I blamed Sam and Darcy, but I…never…blamed…you!”

Steve reaches out, hovering over Bucky’s hair until the man nods that it’s okay. Steve strokes his hand down the side of his head and to his cheek. “I want you to feel like this is your home. I also know that’s going to take awhile because it’s new. I want you to yell at me when you’re angry and cry on me when you’re sad. I’m here with you in all of this and nothing you can do will chase me away.”

Bucky can’t help the tears because all those times he needed to hear that, but didn’t have anyone saying it to him. In this moment he knows that Steve is the person that he needed to hear it from. “I love you.” He surges forward, capturing Steve’s mouth is a bruising kiss. “Let’s not talk for a little while, yeah?”

Steve nods and rolls on top of Bucky, forearms on either side of Bucky’s head as he kissing him with everything that lives in his heart now because of this man. When they emerge from the hut later, the goats have already been taken care of and a fire is going in the pit several yards away. Steve goes back in, while Bucky sits near the fire and when he comes back out, he’s carrying plates of sandwiches and fruit. “I can do better, but this was quick and easy.”

“Everything is perfect.”


	39. Chapter 39

Bucky’s been in Wakanda for two weeks and is starting to see Steve’s routine. In the mornings, he gets up and runs, the kids come after that and help with the goats. Steve pulls weeds in the garden and harvests anything that’s ready. Breakfast is something light, but there’s always coffee, then the kids have an art lesson, after spend time running around playing. Some days one of the people from the village will come with things she thinks that Steve or Bucky need and most times stays for tea. By afternoon, Steve is on his way to the palace, sometimes with Bucky, sometimes without. After the first couple of days, Bucky started fixing dinner when he stays behind, so when Steve returns, it’s waiting. Evenings are for feeding the goats and snuggling by the fire or in bed.

Those are Steve’s typical days, but after two weeks, Bucky’s decided that he needs to find his own routine. He doesn’t really know what to do with himself. He was a college professor and then an employee of Stark Industries, what he does now is unclear. The inability to find something for himself, gets to be too much and he finds himself wandering around near the lake. That’s where Kasa finds him.

“You seem lost in your thoughts, rafiki.” Bucky has learned a few words and knows that she’s calling him friend. Everyone here speaks English, but he really wants to learn this language and the beauty that he feels from it. It’s Steve’s language and he wants it to be his as well.

“Yes, I suppose today I’m feeling…unsettled.” She sits the basket she’s carrying on the ground and indicates they should sit too. She doesn’t speak and Bucky takes that to mean that she wants him to continue. “I came here to be with Steve, but I think I need to find something to do.”

“What did you do before?” Opening the basket, she offers Bucky flat break with a paste. He doesn’t know what the paste is, but it’s addictive.

“I was a teacher at university.” She doesn’t look surprised, but does look pleased.

“And you taught?” He gets the idea that she thinks he should have offered that information already.

“Ethics.”

“Ah, so you taught others what is correct and true based on a system of standards.” She looks thoughtful and Bucky is surprised. He shouldn’t be because he’s found that everyone that he’s come across is highly educated. He knows that these are preconceived notions and wishes he could eradicate those beliefs. “Then you should teach our young ones. These are concepts that many of us find difficult.” She grins. “Not because they cannot grasp it, but because they always challenge it. These are concepts that we teach our own children, but as children they do not always listen to their parents.” She wipes her hands from her snack. “Perhaps if they learn it from someone else, especially White Wolf’s mate it would stick more firmly.” She gives him a conspiratory grin. “It would give you something to do while you find your path.”

She moves away, towards home and Bucky is puzzled as to whether or not she was serious. Getting up he heads to the house when his Kimoyo Bead chirps. Waving a hand over it, Steve’s face comes up. “Hey Beautiful.”

Bucky blushes and smiles. “Hi. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, but something’s happened and T’Challa and I have to go check on it. I won’t be home tonight, but I should be back by tomorrow afternoon.” He looks concerned about leaving and Bucky needs him to know it’s okay. Black Panther and White Wolf protect this incredible place for reasons that are easy to see.

“You’ll be careful though, yeah?” Steve nods and looks up at Bucky like having someone worry about him is new and special.

“I promise. I have you to come home to.” There’s a moment of just staring. “God I love you.”

“I love you too, mapenzi.” The few words that Bucky has picked up in Wakandan are mostly endearments and Steve smiles blindingly.

Bucky takes care of the goats alone that night. The children seem to know that he’s in his own thoughts. The following morning is a whole different thing though because they are waiting for him as he comes out of the house. They run to help with the goats and garden, they pull out their art supplies and insist that he stay to watch them and then…then they sit around him in a semi-circle and ask him to teach them.

That’s where Steve finds him when he comes over the ridge. The younger kids don’t speak English as well as the older ones, so one of them sits next to Bucky to translate. Steve doesn’t want to disrupt what’s happening and since he’s at Bucky’s back, the brunette doesn’t know that he’s there. Ari, who is translating just finishes saying something, when one of the older boys asks a question.

“But Dr. Wolf, how do we know what the ethical beliefs are of one place when we are from somewhere different?” Steve grins at the use of Dr. Wolf.

Bucky sighs, not in frustration or upset, but trying to find a way to explain what he means. “Well, when I came here, I didn’t know what your ethical beliefs were, so I watched how everyone treated everyone else. I observed that there was a feeling that everyone, from King T’Challa to each of you, treated others like they mattered. Plus there are ethical dilemmas that are universal.” Ari translates that for the younger ones. They make a sound of agreement at that. 

The littlest one, that commented on his hair and Bucky has come to adore, asks a rapid fire question and Ari explains it to Bucky. “She is asking what are the beliefs where you came from. Not necessarily ethical, but just the beliefs.”

“Oh well, that’s a complicated question, but I’ll give it a shot.” They grin at him after Ari translates. “Where I come from there’s a document,” He looks at Ari to see if that’s a word they will know and she nods. “Okay, so there’s a document that guarantees everyone is equal, but unfortunately, that isn’t how it really is.” Ari translates and the kids look confused. “In the country that I came from, if you have enough money, you can get away with bad things. If the color of your skin is like mine, white, you can do things that others with the same skin color as yours can’t do.” Ari translates that and looks at Bucky like he can’t be serious. Bucky nods to her and she looks at him sadly. “It isn’t right, it shouldn’t be acceptable, but that is the way it is, but there are people of all colors that are trying to change that.”

It’s Ari’s turn to ask a question. “Do you miss being in a place like that?”

Bucky has to ask himself that question and it’s a troubling answer. “I miss part of being there because it was my home, but being here, with White Wolf and all of you, it’s better for me.” The little one comes over, crawling into Bucky’s lap and says something quietly.

He looks over at Ari, who smiles. “Rilli says that you are home now and soul mates belong together.”

Ari looks up when Steve moves. “White Wolf!” The kids jump up, surrounding Steve and clamoring for his attention. He hugs all of them and when Bucky gets up, Steve sweeps the man into his arms, kissing him fiercely. Ari ushers the other kids away, then calls over her shoulder. “We will be back tomorrow, Dr. Wolf!”

Steve snickers. “Dr. Wolf! That has got to be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” He boops Bucky’s nose. “I’m going to call you Dr. Wolf from now on.”

“Like hell you are.” He hugs Steve. “How was the mission?”

“It was tougher than we thought, but went well.” Bucky steps back, looking Steve over. “I’m not hurt, just tired.”

“Then I’ll fix you dinner while you shower and we’ll crawl in bed and do nothing.” Steve starts to pout and Bucky grins.

“Nothing? I can think of something I’d like to do.” Bucky laughs all the way into the house.

“I’ll see if you’re still awake after your shower and I fill your stomach.”


	40. Chapter 40

Shuri and Wanda come to the farm to find Bucky’s little discussion group in session. The women sit in the half-circle, grinning as some of the smaller kids climb into their laps. Steve is at the lake, fishing, so the discussion keeps going for another thirty minutes or so. When the kids run off to have lunch, Shuri and Wanda can’t stop grinning.

“When did this start?” Shuri loved hearing him talk about ethical dilemmas and Bucky found the childlike reasoning to be expressive and thought-provoking.

“A few weeks ago they informed me that I would be teaching them what I knew. I couldn’t tell them no and now I’m glad I didn’t. They’re way more fun than college ages kids with entitlement issues.” Wanda laughs and gets up.

“I’m going to find Steve and we’ll be back for lunch in a while.” Bucky knows what that means. It means that Shuri wants to talk to him and it must be at least a little serious.

“So, what is this all about?” Shuri has the decency to looks bashful, but Bucky doesn’t believe it for a minute. He waits for her to reveal their reason for coming.

“I wanted to talk to you about…about how you’re fairing here.” She doesn’t look at him, but up at the sky. “You know we all heard about your discussion with M’Baku.”

No one had brought it up, so Bucky was willing to just let it go, but apparently, they were waiting for him to process the encounter. He really hopes this isn’t some kind of chastising situation because he’s likely to go off and doesn’t want to do that with Steve’s family. “And how do you want me to respond to that?”

She watches him, seeing his discomfort and expectation, she reaches over to take his hand. “I expect you to respond however you would like.”

“Your cousin is an asshole.” There, he said it and he means it. Her burst of laughter is unexpected.

“Oh yes, he very much is. You know he challenged my brother for the throne.” Bucky looks up surprised. “Yes and T’Challa kicked his ass. It was a very good day all around.”

Bucky giggles. “I get his position though. I understand why he feels that I don’t belong here.”

That shakes her out of her reverie. “You do belong here.” She looks over towards the lake. “You belong here because he is here and you belong here because…well…you belong here.”

“But I wouldn’t be here if not for him. It isn’t like you would have sought me out if not for him.” Part of Bucky wants to belong here, but he doesn’t think that he ever will. He never thinks of going back to New York, but he doesn’t feel like he has a place anywhere.

There’s silence for a little while. “When I was five…no four, I wanted to be a scientist.” Bucky looks over, smiling. “Yes, and now I am one, but it was a struggle to get here.”

“You’re the Princess of Wakanda, you would have gotten here no matter what.” Shuri claps her hands together and laughs.

“You misunderstand my position. I was schooled with all of the other children because my Mother didn’t want me to feel privileged. To see myself above them. We start school at 3 and many here, especially out here, school their children virtually because it is more convenient.” Bucky nods. “But when I was 4 I had a teacher that told me I would never be a scientist because I was of royal blood and would have other roles to fill. I was broken-hearted, but said nothing to my parents. I stopped focusing on the things that made me happy and tried to be a good princess.” The last work is said with contempt. “I did not have to pay attention in the science classes because it was all…how…”

She’s stuck on the right words for what she wants to say. Bucky intercedes. “too easy?”

“Yes, it was too easy.” It wasn’t the word she was looking for, but it worked. “When I was 8 my teacher asked me why I was not in the advanced class. I did not know what to say because one of his own had told me my place.” She looks off and for the first time she doesn’t seem as happy. “He called my parents in and explained everything to them and they forced me to tell them why I was not trying.” Her eyes glaze over as she remembers that conversation. “It was very hard to tell them, but once I did, the teacher moved me into the advance classes, that were still too easy, so he created classes specifically for me.”

“I don’t know why you’re telling me this, Shuri.”

“Because Brother, people can tell us something about ourselves, something they think they know, but only we know what the real truth is. You came here because of him, yes, but you are here because you belong here.” She shoots up and offers her hands. Bucky takes them and she heaves him to his feet. “Now, let us go find our other halves and have lunch.”


	41. Chapter 41

As the days come and go, Bucky finds things to do with his time, sometimes he sits with Steve, most times he sits with the kids, but on a sunny, cool day, four months into his new life, he wakes to find Okoye on his doorstep and Steve nowhere to be seen. He heard Steve get up earlier and thought he was feeding the goats. Going back in, he finds a note on the kitchen table.

_Buck,_

_T’Challa communicated this morning that we were needed. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye, but I just couldn’t wake you, you looked so peaceful and lovely. I will see you soon._

_I love you,_

_Steve_

“Okay well, I guess I’m on my own for a little while.” He turns back to Okoye, who is smiling which is never good.

“You have lunch with Her Majesty Ramonda today. I suggest you shower. You smell like sex.” Bucky snorts and heads to the bathroom.

“I’d give you the details, but I’m afraid you’d stab me with that big stick.” He drops his robe inside the bedroom and before he gets to the bathroom door, he hears her.

“You have already been stabbed with a big stick!” Bucky’s hysterical laughter can be heard until the bathroom door closes.

Ramonda hugs him and as they sit for lunch, she watches him. “I understand the children have been getting ethics lessons.”

Of course she knows because Shuri knows. “Yes, I hope that isn’t overstepping on my part.”

Something in her face changes and Bucky’s afraid that overstepping is exactly what he did. “James, why do you believe you are not welcome to do these things?”

“Well…it’s…I’m not…”

She reaches out, grasping his hand. “If you say that you are not one of us, you need to reevaluate your position.”

They spend lunch talking about what she wants for him and like any mother she wants him to find his place and be happy. As he walks back to the house, he thinks about that. He showers again before bed because the baby goats used him as a jungle gym when he went to feed them. When he’s clean, he sits in the middle of the bed, brushing out his hair and deciding if he wants to braid it or not. He hears Steve before he sees him, but it never ceases to take his breath away when he sees him standing in the doorway.

The smile that Steve gives him is breathtaking. Coming to the bed Steve lays down, on his side, propped up on his elbow. He just lays there watching Bucky run the brush through his hair. His smile is so kind and loving that it nearly takes Bucky’s breath away. Reaching out, Steve takes the hair over Bucky’s left shoulder, just feeling it. “Your hair is so much softer than mine. I love how it feels against my skin. I knew you were beautiful from the pictures on the internet, but seeing you up close…nothing compares to it.”

“You know I’m a sure thing, right?” He means to make Steve laugh, but when he doesn’t and then sits up to get closer, he stunned by what he sees on Steve’s face.

“Maybe I haven’t helped you here the way I should have, but I thought if I let you find your own way, didn’t crowd you too much, things would be easier for you. I don’t think I can do that anymore. Bucky,” Bucky reaches out, touching Steve’s face and everything starts to make sense. Steve didn’t crowd him, but there were times he felt alone in all this. Now he’s starting to understand that Steve was giving him space to adjust. “My beautiful Bucky, I want to be with you all the time. I want to be touching you every minute of every day. I don’t know if it’s the soul mate thing, but I feel like you live here now.” He takes Bucky’s hand, placing it over his heart. “If you felt alone at any time, I’m so sorry and I’ll spend my life making it up to you. Let me show you everything I can, all the things that can make this your home too.”

Bucky looks down, not wanting to or meaning to, but tearing up. He has felt alone sometimes, but he knew, through those times, that Steve loved him. “Steve, I want to fit into your world here, but I don’t know how to do that.” After waking up shaking and screaming a few nights before, Steve’s comfort had turns amorous, which Bucky is fine with, but it also felt like it was invalidating his fear. “I need you to be willing to listen when I wake up like I did that night. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed your solution, but I need to voice what frightens me.”

Steve runs his hand up the back of Bucky’s neck to lace through his hair and cradles his head. “Tell me now and from this point on I will listen.”

“Steve, I left everything. And I still feel that every day.” Steve looks sad about that, but he doesn’t talk, just listens. “I don’t have anything here, except you. Sometimes I go to bed and if you weren’t breathing next to me, I don’t know what I would do. You’re the anchor in my life. Hell, Steve, you are my life.” He looks into those blue eyes that now look like they want to cry. “You started being my life from the first email and it just grew. Now I have a soul mate I don’t feel connected to completely.” And that’s all he can take and lets himself sob into Steve’s chest.

“Sshh, baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve holds him, rubbing up and down his back. “I’m here and I’m going to be better at this. I did the wrong thing and I’m going to be here, right next to you through this.”

Bucky clings to him, hiding his face in Steve’s chest. “I love you so damn much and I want to be with you all the time. Can you give me that for a little while? Just let me find footing and I won’t be so clingy.”

Steve chuckles. “I like you clingy. I just didn’t think you wanted that. I thought you wanted to find your way in this new life. I did this wrong and I’m sorry. I think we need to take some time for just us.”


	42. Chapter 42

The next morning, Steve comes stumbling into the bedroom carrying a tray, tripping over the cat. “I’m trying not to wake your dad up and you’re doing everything in your power to kill me. Is this your way of getting me back for ignoring him?”

Bucky woke up the minute Steve said shit and can’t help the giggle that comes out. “Is Alpine terrorizing you?”

“He’s a lethal weapon, Buck.” Bucky sits up, hair cascading over his shoulders and down his exposed back and Steve looks at him with all the love and hopeless devotion he’s been holding back. “My god, how are you this beautiful first thing in the morning?”

Bucky blushes, but smiles. “What have you done?” Alpine hops up on the bed, treading across the comforter and taking a spot between Bucky’s legs.

“Well, this morning I fixed you breakfast and decided that you need to be served in bed.” He sits the tray on Bucky’s lap and crawls in with him. “I was feeling like something bigger and more filling, so you have bacon, waffles, eggs and fruit.” Bucky picks up the mug of coffee. “Oh, yeah, let’s not forget the coffee.

Bucky leans into Steve, kissing his neck. “Yes, coffee is very important.” They chat and eat, while Alpine watches them, judging every move they make. “What would you think about letting the little beast outside today?”

Steve reaches down, scratching the cat’s chin. “Just what Wakanda needs, another cat with a really big attitude.” Bucky snickers and feeds Steve a bite of waffle.

This is what Bucky pictured in his head. It’s not that he’s a hopeless romantic, but he waited for Steve. He feels like he waited his whole life for the man. They dress in loose robes and go to take care of the goats holding hands. Alpine sits on Bucky’s shoulder, looking around with wide eyes. They don’t expect him to jump from Bucky’s shoulder into the goat pen, but that’s what he decides to do. They watch as he noses at the goats and scampers away to sit on a bale of hay.

As they move through their morning routine, Alpine runs from the pen to the garden, hiding in the plants and acting like a mighty hunter. When they walk to the lake, he runs past them to beat them there. The kids come to watch the little cat make the farm his own domain and Alpine lets them pet him and call him pretty. Bucky snorts. “That’s all he needs is more people feeding his ego.”

After lunch, Bucky slips the cat into the basket they are carrying to the market. It’s a long walk, but worth it to be with Steve. The people at the market stop them to look at Alpine, who just eats up more attention. Steve talks to one of the ladies at the fish stand about a stew that he wants to try. She loads him down with everything he will need and directs them to the spice stand. Bucky listens to Steve talk to them and knows that it’s time he gets serious about learning the language. They talk about buying a second basket because Alpine and the fish in the same basket isn’t turning out well.

One of the ladies at a stand with bags, stops Bucky. She points at the Alpine and picks up a small bag that looks like a backpack. Bucky tries to tell her that he doesn’t understand, so she has him put his arms through the slots on the side, takes Alpine from the basket and puts him in the pocket. He’s able to poke his head out and see everything and it keeps him away from the fish. Bucky pulls out money, but she waves him off, patting his cheek and saying something. He looks at her sadly. “I wish I knew what you were saying.”

“She says that anyone that is the soul mate of White Wolf deserves a gift, but also adds that now that she sees you, she is saddened that she cannot introduce you to her son.” Bucky turns to find T’Challa and Nakia. Bucky looks back at the lady and bows his appreciation. Looking back at the king, his king, he smiles gratefully. “Where is my brother because I know he must be around if you are here?”

Bucky looks around and realizes that he doesn’t know where Steve went. “I…I don’t know. He was just here.”

“Then walk with us and we will find him together.” Nakia puts her arm through Bucky’s elbow and reaches up with the other to pet the white fluff ball looking around in interest. 

“What have you come to the market for?” She looks into his basket.

“Steve wants to make a fish stew tonight. You should join us.” Nakia looks at her soul mate and he grins.

“We would like that very much. Thank you for inviting us.” Steve comes jogging up, grinning ear to ear.

“Have you told him? I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.” Bucky looks at them for an explanation.

Nakia holds up her left hand. The ring that sits there is magnificent. “I have finally agreed to marry him.” She leans in. “He thinks it means that I will stay home and not go on missions anymore, but he is mistaken.”

T’Challa looks offended. “I specifically said that I did not want you to stop doing what you love.”

Bucky hugs her, congratulating them both. “I’m so happy for you. When is the big day?”

T’Challa rolls his eyes. “My mother is in charge, so it will be a few months in preparation.”

They head back out of the market and towards home. They chatter about the recipe that Steve is using and he gets advice from both of them on what he needs to add to the pot. Steve holds Bucky’s hand the whole way, occasionally lifting it to kiss. As Steve and T’Challa fix dinner, under Alpine’s watchful eye, Nakia and Bucky sit in the living room. “What goes into a royal wedding? I’m sure it’s huge.”

She shakes her head. “In all honesty, I do not really know. I thought my best course of action is to let Ramonda handle it because I would do something wrong.”

Bucky laughs. “What is it like?” She looks confused. “I mean, I’m sure it’s different from anything I’ve ever been to.”

“I do know that we are following some of the traditional ideas, so I will arrive from the water.”

“So like Venus from the waves or will there be a boat involved?” The question has her laughing so hard the two men come in from the kitchen.

“What is so funny? What did we miss?” Steve watches Bucky and knows how much his family already loves him, but the man doesn’t really know it.

“Bucky has compared me to Venus.” She looks at T’Challa. “He is better at wooing than you.”

At that, the King goes back into the kitchen chuckling. Steve comes over, leaning over the back of the sofa and kisses Bucky.

After T’Challa and Nakia leave, the two men take a walk to the lake. Steve spreads out a blanket and they sit to watch the night sky. Everything is so clear. Alpine follows them down and lays in the grass, like he’s lying in wait for prey. Looking up at the stars, Bucky has his head pillowed on Steve’s chest. “Steve, what would I have to do to teach here?”

“I can find out.” Steve starts rubbing up and down Bucky’s arm.

“I want to learn the language too.” Steve hums. “How long did it take you to learn it?”

“It took nearly a year. It’s a complicated language, but I know you can do it. If Wanda and I can learn it, you can do it easily.” Leaning up, he kisses the top of Bucky’s head.

“You have a lot of faith in me.” Bucky rolls over, staring up at Steve, resting his chin on Steve’s chest while Steve puts his arms under his head.

Steve smile fondly. “I have every faith in you. Always have. When I got that first email from you, I knew.”

“What did you know?” Steve reaches down with one arm, wrapping it around Bucky’s back.

“I knew that you were important to me.” He sighs. “Over those two years, it just got clearer why. I fell in love with you through your words.”

Bucky sits up, straddling Steve’s lap and smiles down at him. “I fell in love with you when you did that interview. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but that’s when it happened. You stood up for people you didn’t know. You gave up everything for people that needed someone to stand up and say ‘no.’ It didn’t take me long to figure it out.”

Leaning in, Bucky kisses this beautiful man that he calls his own. It doesn’t take long for the kiss to grow heated. “You’re everything, Bucky. Everything I ever dreamed about having, but didn’t think I would.”

“Do you think anyone will see us? I don’t really want to go back in, but I do want you to show me how important I am to you.” Steve rolls them, putting himself on top and smiling down at Bucky.

“I think we’ll be fine.” As the clothes come off, Steve kisses every inch that he can reach and pays special attention to the scars. “Tell me you love me.”

As Steve sucks a bruise onto Bucky’s hip, he hears a whispered, “I love you.”


	43. Chapter 43

Bucky starts learning Wakandan from Shuri, Wanda, and Nakia. They each teach him a specific aspect of the language and then Shuri sets him up with a program for practice. He also gets practice with the kids who are overjoyed that he’s learning, but sometimes laugh when he gets something wrong. They are quick to correct him with gentle reminders and praise when he gets it right. Steve does go on missions, but never more than a few days and he comes home and spends every moment with Bucky. The nightmares ease some and that makes for much more restful nights. 

Nakia shows up at the farm while Black Panther and White Wolf are away, bringing with her a hanging bag. Bucky is in the kitchen practicing his Wakandan and baking cookies. He found a recipe for ginger snaps and wants to surprise Steve. 

“What smells so good?” Bucky looks up, surprised. Nakia hangs the bag by the door and Bucky greets her with a hug.

“I’m making cookies. You wanna try some?” She gives him an eyebrow tilt and he says it again, but in Wakandan.

“Very good, you are getting so much better.” Looking over his shoulder, she sees the cookies on the counter. “And yes, I want to try the cookies. What kind are they, I do not recognize the smell?”

Bucky thinks really hard about how to say it, what comes out is a mix of Wakandan and English. “They’re ginger snaps. Steve says his mother made the best ones he ever tasted and I’m trying to give him something he hasn’t had in awhile.”

She praises him repeatedly and he knows that it isn’t hollow because she keeps going back to take more. Finally, she pulls him into the living room. “Now, we must talk.” They sit on the sofa and she points at the bag. “I have brought your robes for the wedding. Steven will get his in a few days. Those are much more complicated as brother to the king. You will be wearing something similar, but as you will not be standing as…what is it…best man?” Bucky nods. “So, yours are a little lighter in color, but with the same design. This will tell the guests that you are part of the royal family and belong to Steven.”

Bucky snorts. “You make me sound like a concubine.”

She throws her arms up. “Oh no that is not…no that is not what I meant. You are not the Prince’s concubine.” She flushes, horribly embarrassed. “Oh my brother, you are so much more important than that.”

Bucky shrugs. “There’s a lot that I don’t understand and I really don’t know where I fit into the family that Steve has here.”

The door opens and Steve steps in, grinning at the two of them. He sniffs the air. “What smells so good?” Nakia gets up and comes over to him, he grins because he thinks he’s getting a hug, but instead gets a slap across the side of his head. Bucky sucks in a breath and Steve looks stunned. “WHY HAVE YOU NOT EXPLAINED TO JAMES WHAT HIS ROLE IS IN THIS FAMILY!?”

Steve just stutters over his words trying to get out of whatever dog house he’s gotten himself into. “I…he…we…I…”

Steve looks over at Bucky, who has no idea what just happened. Nakia looks back at him, sympathetically. “Explain who he is to you. He knows he is your soul mate, but you have not made him understand what that means for all of us.” She looks back at Bucky again. “Be well, Brother.” She storms out of the house.

Steve looks after her and knows that before the night is over, he’s going to be getting calls from all of his family members and the one from his mother is going to be the worst. He looks over at Bucky, who is grinning like he knows the drama that’s about to happen. “You got something you wanna say to me, Steve?”

“Buck…I…it’s…” He comes over, kneeling down in front of the sofa, wrapping his arms around Bucky waist and putting his head against Bucky’s heart. “Baby, I didn’t think about it. You were here with me and I didn’t seem like something too important.”

“Steve, are you really a prince?” Steve nods, but doesn’t raise his head. “What does that make me then?”

“You’re my consort.” Steve finally looks up.

Bucky smirks, crawling out from under Steve, gets to his feet, grabs Steve’s hand and pulls him towards the kitchen. “You’re going to come in here, eat some ginger snaps and explain this to me.”

“You made ginger snaps?”

“Focus, Steven!”


	44. Chapter 44

The wedding of King T’Challa and Princess Nakia is more than Bucky imagined for any wedding. It seems like the entire country is in attendance and he feels like some people are looking right at him. The truth is, some are staring at him because he’s devastatingly handsome in the robes that Nakia brought him. The blue is pale and his eyes practically glow with how the color brings them out. His hair is in an intricate braid pattern on the side and the rest flows down his back in waves. His robes are patterned with the same design as those of the royal family, meaning that everyone knows that he belongs to someone in the royal house. 

Wanda’s are in a deep red and have the same pattern. The two of them have been supporting each other all day, but neither have seen their soul mates because their duties started before dawn. “I really hope that Steve likes how I look.”

He sounds so unsure that Wanda giggles at him. “Are you kidding me?” He shakes his head. “You’re serious! Have you even looked in a mirror today?”

He looks down at himself, still unsure. “I mean, yeah, but…”

“No buts. All of the women and half of the men are looking at you like they want to eat you and the only reason they don’t is because the design tells them to back off.” Bucky puts an arm around her and holds her close. She’s good for his ego.

There aren’t any chairs at the ceremony which Bucky has to remind himself is their tradition. As the family comes in, Steve looks like a walking dream. Bucky knows he should be looking at T’Challa, but he can’t take his eyes off of Steve. He’s in dark blue robes with the same design as Bucky’s, his hair is pulled back from his face and French braided with shiny silver threads. When they join the shaman at the front, Steve turns to scan the crowd and sees Bucky. His eyes grow wide and he looks like the wind has been punched out of him. Bucky smiles and Steve mouths ‘beautiful.’ 

The ceremony is simple, much to Bucky’s surprise. The intervening time between ceremony and reception is when he finally gets to see Steve up close. Steve weaves his way through the people and doesn’t even pause before sweeping Bucky into his arms. “You…you…I couldn’t even focus during the ceremony for looking at you.” He pulls back and looks down and back up Bucky’s body. “I really would like to take you home now. As much as I like you in these robes, I’d like to get you out of them.”

“Behave Steve and try to focus on the bride and groom.” He looks up and down Steve, returning the favor from earlier. “Although, if there were a coat room, I might be convinced.”

The flirting would probably go on for a long while and end up with them in some secluded part of the palace if not for Ari running over. “White Wolf! White Wolf! You must come play.”

A group of kids, including those from their village have found a soccer ball, probably given to them by a mother that wants them distracted until food is served. Steve picks her up, ball and all, and takes Bucky’s hand. “Let’s go run off some energy before we do something we shouldn’t.”

It starts out with the kids just kicking the ball around, but once the kids start cheering them on, Steve and Bucky get into the fun. Steve starts telling kids how to steal the ball from Bucky and Bucky ends up with little Rilli in his arms who is too small to keep up. She’s clinging to Bucky tightly and yelling for him to ‘go faster’ while also screaming at the ones trying to take the ball.

As the game gets wilder and Bucky shoving Steve out of the way to steal the ball back and Steve screaming ‘that’s not a rule in soccer, Bucky,’ the adults start to focus more on the two men playing with the kids. Bucky’s response of ‘this is not anything like soccer, Steven’ has the adults laughing at their carefree attitude.

Steve comes over, taking the little girl from Bucky, who chases after him trying to take her back. Then it becomes a game of who gets the baby. Cries of, ‘that isn’t fair’ and ‘you had her longer than me’ only causes some of the other kids to want to be picked up too. Ari ends up on Bucky’s back, carrying the ball while Bucky makes it to the opposite end and Ari cries, ‘WE WON!”

Steve looks up in dismay. “We weren’t playing anymore!”

And Ari’s answering, “White Wolf, we are always playing!” And the crowd of adults, laughing and applauding. This merriment continues until dinner is called and everyone starts to make their way inside. Steve hands the baby back to her mother and grabs Bucky’s hand. 

They are caught by T’Challa and Nakia on their way in. “You two just made a lot of parents very happy. It is not often that they have attentive babysitters at a function like this.”

“Glad we could help and it was fun.” Steve hugs his brother and puts an arm around Bucky to guide him into the reception.

“Yeah, great fun, until he stole my baby!” Steve leans in, kissing Bucky’s temple.

The rest of the day goes on like a dream. Steve still can’t keep his eyes off of Bucky and Bucky is having the same problem. There’s a casual air about the super soldier that Bucky likes watching. If he’s in a group talking, Bucky watches how he moves, how he throws his head back and laughs, how he’s just so damned beautiful that Bucky wants to cry. He doesn’t know that Steve is watching him too and feels all the same things.

As they make their way home that night, the transport drops them on the ridge above the house, Bucky has a realization that is surprising.

Home.

It isn’t the house anymore, it’s become his home. And if the expression on Steve’s face is anything to go by, he realizes it too when Bucky says, “I’m glad to be home.”

Steve gently washes Bucky’s hair in the shower that night, not taking the braids on the side out, but working around them. As Steve’s hands move over his body, Bucky sinks into the feeling of being loved to his very soul. He returns the favor and washes his soul mate with care and a tender touches. They dry each other and Steve draws him to the bed. Alpine sits atop the shelves in the corner, surveying his domain and keeping his people safe.

What happens between them that night is more. It’s always been special, but tonight the edge of desperation isn’t there. Before, Steve could always feel that Bucky was holding a little piece of himself back, but tonight every part of Bucky is open to Steve and the super soldier allows himself to fall into it without hesitation. Everything that Steve loves about the man shines in his eyes. Whatever piece Bucky felt like he needed to keep safe, he gives over to Steve. And in return, Steve worships every piece, every dark corner that Bucky’s tried to hide.

He holds Bucky in his lap, thrusting and clinging to him. Burying his face in Bucky’s neck, Steve cries with relief listening to every moan, every whispered ‘I love you,’ every cry of Steve’s name. When he lowers him to the bed, Steve hovers just above him, running his finger down Bucky’s face and looking on with such adoration that Bucky can’t help the overwhelming feeling that he really is home.

Alpine watches as they fall into sleep. He watches as the barriers fall and the soul mate bond truly takes hold. Loafing himself on the shelf, he gives a slow blink to the old magic winding around his people. Rolling onto his side, Alpine thinks his dad has been ridiculous for resisting for so long.


	45. Chapter 45

Steve leaves on a mission two days later. King T’Challa is concerned about this, but he is away on his wedding trip, so he gives the okay. Steve isn’t expecting to run into the Avengers in South Africa when he arrives. But the vibranium belongs in Wakanda and he needs to make sure it comes home. It’s not a large shipment, but enough that someone could do true damage if it’s used in the wrong way.

“Well, if it isn’t our Wolfie friend.” White Wolf whips his head around and comes mask to mask with Iron Man. Hanging his head, White Wolf says something in Wakandan and Shuri, who’s listening through there com, giggles with delight.

“Tap your com and they can hear me too, Brother.” Steve reaches for his wrist and taps the right wrist of his suit. Shuri’s voice can now be heard in the Iron Man suit. “Well, Mr. Stark, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

Tony looks around nervously. “Whoa, have I been hacked? No one can hack me!” Steve can’t help the chuckle and Tony turns back to him. “What are you laughing at, Big Bad?”

Steve again speaks in Wakandan and Shuri’s voice come in loud and clear again. “My Brother wants to know why you are here and for your information, I have hacked you many times before. Your security is good, but I am better.” The rest of the Avengers join them, all tapping their coms in some way. “Oh, I should introduce myself. I am Shuri, second in line for the throne of Wakanda, which I never want to have to do because it is too much politics and not enough science.”

Natasha looks at everyone else, sizing up White Wolf and looking around for Black Panther. “Anyone else think she sounds like she’s 12?”

There’s an offended gasp on the com. “I will have you know that I am almost 19.” Steve says something else. “I do not act 12. I have a soul mate and everything, Brother.”

Captain America lands nearby and Steve is thrown for a minute. Sam Wilson looks at him grinning. “Hey man, good to see you!” The wings are new, but the shield is the same. Steve has just a minute where he feels shaken. Steve offers his hand and Sam takes it. “You and Black Panther going to help us out with this?”

Shuri pipes up. “He is there to stop the gun runners and bring the stolen vibranium home.”

Steve jumps down from the shipping container, landing in a crouch. He looks back up at the Avengers and they join him. “You were planning on doing this alone?” Natasha looks at him critically, as always.

Shaking his head, Shuri questions him. “Have you found what we need?” He gives an affirmative and places a disk on the top of a jeep nearby. 

“What is that?” Tony starts to poke it, but White Wolf bats his hand away. “What does it do?” As soon as he says it a hologram of Shuri sits in the driver’s seat.

“It allows me to be here with him.” Everyone jumps back accept Steve.

The jeep starts and White Wolf jumps on top. The team watches as they head towards the ship at the end of the dock. “I have got to get me something like that!” Iron Man takes off, followed by Captain America. Those not able to fly, take off on foot.

The fight is over before it really begins and as they watch the Wakandan operatives load the vibranium into trucks, White Wolf looks at the team. Speaking to Shuri, he takes the disk from the top of the jeep. Stepping over to Tony, he holds it out. Shuri explains to a confused Tony. “Mr. Stark, accept this as a gift for your amusement. You will realize quickly that there is another piece to the hardware, but I’m sure, with time, you can figure it out.”

There’s a giggle from her and Tony’s helmet melts away. “Is she insulting my intelligence?” White Wolf nods with a deep chuckle. “Just how smart is your sister?”

White Wolf puts his hand at the top of Tony’s head, then lifts his arm as far as it will stretch pointing to the sky. Thor barks out a laugh. “I believe he is saying, Stark, that she is well above you.” White Wolf points at him. They all gather around to look at what Tony has, commenting on the usefulness of the item and White Wolf pulls Captain America aside. Far enough away that no one can hear them and taps the com, silencing it.

Sam looks at him strangely, leaning in, he whispers, just for Sam. “You look good with the shield.” Without another word, White Wolf is gone with the trucks back to his home. Sam is still staring after him in shock. White Wolf does speak English. 

He turns back to the group, who are waiting for him to tell them what that was all about, Sam just shrugs and says, “Couldn’t understand anything he said. Weird, man.”

Steve makes sure to tell Bucky as soon as he’s home and as soon as he’s gotten his welcome. Bucky thinks that Sam as Captain America is one of the funniest things he’s ever heard. “Oh don’t get me wrong, he’s perfect for it and a really good man, but it’s still funny.”

It’s not the last time that White Wolf and Black Panther are seen outside of Wakanda. A few months later one of their operatives in Sri Lanka disappears and they aid in the retrieval. The Avengers keep tabs on them, but don’t interfere as long as it’s not a bigger threat. Each time they do go in to help, Cap makes sure to find a private minute to talk to White Wolf. He can tell that the Wolf is using a voice modulator, but can’t fault the guy for wanting to keep his secrets.


	46. Chapter 46

Bucky finds his niche in his new life. After talking it over with Steve, he does decide to teach, but this time he wants younger kids. He spends his afternoons with the children in their village, talking about anything and everything. He teaches them about anything they find curious and they teach him about the history of Wakanda and insist that he speaks only in his new language. It takes about six months, but he finally feels like he can maintain a conversation with anyone. With the approval of the royal family, which he’s starting to feel connect to, he takes a teaching position at a First Level Academy in the city. At first he thinks he’s made a horrible mistake when he sees the class, but once the classes start, he doesn’t know why every school on the planet isn’t like this. It’s an open concept grade equivalent of 5th grade, but these kids are younger than expected. His job is to teach them higher level thinking skills and language, specifically English. Being bilingual now, he’s the perfect fit. 

The first day he’s surprised to find little Rilli in his class. He’s under the impression that she’s years younger than the other kids in the room. His manager sees his confusion when she runs to him, clinging to his leg. “She insisted that yours was the only language class that she could learn in and when tested we found that her thinking skills are well above normal.”

Bucky isn’t sure about the protocol on holding a student and makes an aborted move to pick her up. “Is it…am I…”

“Oh yes, we encourage the students and teachers to bond. The learning environment is enhanced by a familial connection.” Bucky bends to pick her up and Rilli grins her toothless smile.

He starts to speak in English, but she points her finger at him. Smiling he switches to Wakandan. “So you will help me teach everyone how to think?”

She kisses his cheek. “By the looks of them, it will be a difficult job.” Bucky is going to have so much fun with this kid.

Three weeks in, Bucky comes home to find Steve in the kitchen making dinner. He just leans against the door and watches for a while. They didn’t tell anyone about the new development in their bond, but Bucky can feel the contentment coming off his soul mate in waves. Steve doesn’t look up, just keeps chopping with a smile on his face. “You just going to stand there and watch me or come in here and give me the kiss I’ve been dying for since you left this morning?”

Alpine sprints down the hallway and slides into the kitchen. “What is this about?” He goes over, leaning his chest into Steve’s shoulder. Steve turns his head and kisses Bucky, then rubbing his nose along his cheek.

“Your cat has lost his mind is what’s going on.” Bucky buries his face in Steve’s shoulder. “He’s been tearing around the house for hours. He’ll calm down, then start up again. Has he always been this weird?”

Leaning up again, he kisses Steve one more time and hums into it. “Yes, unfortunately he’s always been like this.”

“What has you so happy, baby?” Bucky hums again and floods their bond with happy, gooey, love.

“You…and home…and the kids…and the cat…everything makes me happy.” Steve drops the knife and turns to embrace Bucky completely.

“Everything about you makes me happy.” This kiss isn’t just a welcome home, but a ‘would you like to skip dinner’ kind of thing. “I even love that idiot on top of the refrigerator.” Bucky snickers into his neck, peeking at Alpine, perched atop the fridge, wide-eyed and ready to cause havoc. “You have no idea how happy you make me every day and the fact that you came here, to be with me, and found a home.”

Dinner is quiet conversation and playing footsy under the table. Steve cleans up while Bucky showers and they meet in the living room to continue talking about Bucky’s classes and overall day. Bucky’s been talking for a while and Steve just listens and smiles. “The things that impress me the most about these kids is they are all smart, but not arrogant about it. They know what they know and are so comfortable with it.” Steve doesn’t say anything and just keeps smiling. “What?” Bucky nudges his leg with his foot, breaking whatever spell Steve is under.

“You feel so happy. I’m just glad you found what you wanted. Even if it wasn’t with me, I would still be happy you found this.” Steve finds himself with a lap full of Bucky, kissing him breathless. When Bucky attacks his neck, Steve stands carrying them both to the bedroom. Pulling the t-shirt and pajama pants from Bucky, Steve stares down at him in amazement. His hair fanned across the pillows, his tan skin glowing in the gently light of the room, the wicked smile on his lips and all Steve can feel is how much he’s loved. Stripping out of his own clothes, Steve joins him on the bed, caressing every inch of skin he can reach. “Buck?”

Bucky’s hand runs down Steve’s side, over his hip, and when it reaches Steve’s thigh, Bucky pulls it up over his own. “Yeah, Steve?”

“Marry me.”

It’s such a simple statement, no build up, no hesitation, just ‘marry me.’ Bucky’s eyes fly up, to meet vivid blue ones and so much love and devotion coming through the bond that it takes Bucky’s breath away. He knows his eyes are huge, he knows his mouth is hanging open, but he also knows that a surge hits the bond like a tidal wave. “Yes.”

As soon as it’s out of his mouth, Steve is up off the bed in a flash. He digs around in one of the drawers, pulling out a small drawstring bag. Coming to the bed, he kneels down next to it. “Bucky, I…”

Bucky sits up, in all his naked glory to look at Steve in the same condition. “Steve, I did say yes.”

“Yeah, I know, but I had this planned and that wasn’t planned and I feel like I cheated you out of something special. So…” Bucky puts his hand over Steve’s mouth and nods, sitting back and preparing for whatever Steve wants to do. “Okay, so you came here because I asked you to and I never regretted that, but there were times that I felt like you might. Watching you with my family and how everyone that met you fell in love with you, it just meant that whether you knew it at the time or not, this was where you were supposed to be. You deserve to be in a place where everyone understands how special you are.” He pauses, swallowing hard. “The night of the wedding when you said ‘it’s good to be home’ I thought my world couldn’t get any better, but then we bonded, really bonded and I knew I had just been living on the edge of a cliff, waiting for that moment when you would carry me into the sky.” Bucky starts crying because he just can’t stop himself and with everything coming through the bond, it’s impossible not to be affected by it. “Your everything and I know that sounds cliché, but you truly are everything to me. I want to marry you and every day I want to show you what that means to me. I know you can feel it, but I want the chance to show you. Will you marry me?”

Bucky is in his arms as soon as the words are done. He slips a ring onto Bucky’s finger that is nothing short of magnificent. The ring is black and Bucky knows that means it vibranium, but there’s a channel in the center all the way around. Inside the channel is a silver and gold thread weaved together. “Steve, it’s beautiful.”

“The silver thread is what was in my hair the day of the wedding and the gold one is because you’re more precious to me than even gold could be and I picked the vibranium because it’s indestructible, just like us.” As Bucky starts kissing him again, Steve lifts them back into the bed.


	47. Chapter 47

At dinner with the family a week later, they announce their engagement. There are squeals of joy and hugs. “Why did you not tell us before?”

Steve grins at Shuri. “Because you’d want to have a party to celebrate and we’re okay without that.”

“Of course there should be a party, do you not think so Brother.” She looks over at T’Challa who is trying to hide his grin behind is cup. Ramonda comes out of the kitchen after getting her hugs with sparkling wine.

“We will toast to your good fortune in finding each other and leave it at that. There is no need to make them uncomfortable if they do not wish to have a celebration.” She gives the mother’s eye to her daughter, but adds a wink. “We will work on them together and convince them.” Shuri squeals again and hugs her mother.

“Why do I feel like we’re going to have a party anyway?” Bucky side whispers to Steve, who is staring at his Mother like she’s betrayed him.

“Because we are. Once Mother gets an idea in her head, we just say ‘yes ma’am’ and do what she says.” Ramonda gives phony shock and pats Bucky’s cheek.

“Can we run away and get married before they know about it?” 

There’s a collective response of “NO!” to that question.

Hand in hand as the walk from the ridge to their home, Steve seems to be deep in thought. “Steve, is everything okay?”

He snaps back to focus on Bucky’s questions. “Oh…uh…yeah, I was just wondering how you’d feel if we skipped all the engagement stuff and just got married.”

Bucky stops in his tracks. “You mean…like how soon are you talking about?”

“A couple of months, but probably less.” Steve thinks he’s going to turn around and find disappointment, but what he gets instead is an arm full of Bucky kissing him deeply. Looking at Bucky in the moonlight is like looking at the most exquisite piece of art. His dark brown hair in waves over his shoulders, his perfect jaw, sharp, yet somehow soft and his eyes glowing in the silver light. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s most definitely a yes. The sooner the better.” Steve carries him the rest of the way to the house, cuddled up in his chest, legs wrapped around his waist, like a koala. The following morning Steve contacts Ramonda and tells her what they would like to do. She simply tells him that he is not to worry about anything and she will take care of the plans.

Ramonda has done her research and goes to her son with her idea. It’s been a week since the message from Steve about the marriage and she’s put a stop to all of Shuri and Wanda’s plans about engagement parties and ways to embarrass her oldest child. T’Challa finishes the council meeting and smiles at his mother. “What brings you to see me so early in the morning, Mother?”

The tribal leaders start to get up, but she motions for them to keep their seats. “I come with a proposal and I will need all of you to agree.”

Eyebrows raised, the council remains seated and T’Challa looks at his mother in curiosity. “What is this proposal?” He’s in King mode now believing this to be a more serious issue than it really is. She grins and begins explaining her idea. There are questions because these things are outside of the council’s understanding, but once they have all of the facts, they readily agree. It is strange and much different than anything they’ve experienced, but different ideas are what built Wakanda into the nation it is now.

With that done, Ramonda returns to her suite and looks at the message from Steve again. Working out the logistics of the next part will be difficult, but not beyond her ability. She will need to get Shuri involved and by extension Wanda, but she also knows how those two have kept many secrets over the last two years. Gathering the information, she leaves her suite for the lab. 

“Mother, what brings you into my cave of invention?” Ramonda rolls her eyes.

Wanda looks up, grinning and the Queen Mother presses on. “I come with a mission for the two of you and it must be followed to the letter if this is to work.” She looks at Shuri. “That means, no adding your own flair to this and keeping secrets that you will want to shout from the highest tower, but you will not and it is imperative that you agree.”

Whatever this is, Shuri and Wanda can see the import of her words, so they nod and sit down to hear out their Mother. Ramonda explains what they have to do and how they have to accomplish it. She explains that those they are contacting can’t know why they are being asked to do what is requested. The more she talks, the bigger the grins get. Both young ladies readily agree to the terms and conditions set down by the highly respected woman they call Mother. “Good, now, you have four weeks to make this happen and the more time you allowed them to prepare, the better.”

After she’s gone, Shuri jumps up, clapping her hands. “I love covert missions!” They work for another two days before they are ready to move forward. Shuri watches Wanda, sitting in front of the screen. “Are you ready?”

Wanda nods, looking at the tablet with the information. “Okay, let’s do this.” Shuri starts the recording. Wanda smiles kindly at the screen. “Hello Sam and Darcy. You don’t know me, but I need a favor…” She finishes the recording and Shuri comes over, resting her forehead against Wanda’s temple. “Was that okay?”

Shuri nods, not lifting her head, but then kissing the temple of her witch. “It was just right.”


	48. Chapter 48

Sam enters Darcy’s office at the Compound with a questioning look of concern. “What did you need to see me about?”

Darcy looks up, confused and confused always drives her crazy. “A message was in my inbox this morning.” Sam looks at her with a ‘yeah, so’ kind of face. “It’s a video recording, but it won’t open without you here too. It’s weird too because whoever sent it, it’s…not encrypted exactly, but there’s something not right about it because when I asked FRIDAY to scan for a virus, she doesn’t even see it.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t see it?” Sam comes around the desk, looking at the email.

“I asked her to scan this email and FRIDAY says there isn’t an email.” Sam looks at her likes she’s making it up. “I’m telling you there’s something weird going on here.” Sam leans over the chair and suddenly the email opens on its own. “What the hell?”

The screen goes black and then the face of Wanda Maximoff, who disappeared over two years ago, comes on screen. “Holy shit!” 

“Hello Sam and Darcy. You don’t know me, but I need a favor and you two are the ones that can help me.” She smiles at the screen. “I’m sure you know who I am, but we never properly met. I’m contacting you because there is a situation at a location that I can’t disclose at this time and we need you to help. In a little less than four weeks from now I’m going to be contacting you again and it is imperative that when I do, you two, and only you two, do exactly what I say. I know it’s asking a lot and you have no reason to trust me, but it’s really, very important. To agree to this, when this message ends, your email will come back up. Click reply if you will help me and promise not to tell anyone else about this. If you do not wish to help, and I’ll understand if you don’t, you’ll have five minutes to click reply, after that this email will disappear and I’ll know you can’t help. Thank you for listening.”

The video ends and the email comes back up. Darcy looks up at Sam and waits for him to decide what to do. When he doesn’t say anything after a couple of seconds, she waves her hand to encourage him. “Well?”

Sam goes around the desk and sits down. “I don’t know. I mean she just disappeared off the face of the earth two years ago and then suddenly she needs help. And why only the two of us? Why not the whole team?”

Darcy sits back in her chair, staring up at nothing. “Because we weren’t part of the team that abandoned her. Everyone else tried to keep her locked down here, but we weren’t here then.”

Sam nods in agreement. “Hit reply.” Darcy looks giddy. “This is between you and me, but if she’s in a situation that she needs to get out of, we’ll help.” As good as her word, Darcy hits reply, but instead of another screen coming up, the email disappears like it was never there. Darcy pokes around with the system, but there’s no trace of it having ever been there.


	49. Chapter 49

The day before the wedding, the farm is descended on by family. They’ve been arguing for close to fifteen minutes, while Bucky just sits off to the side watching the family bicker. Ramonda looks over at him and crosses her hands over her chest. “James, you have been very quiet.”

He looks up at her lost. “I’m not really sure how to respond to this.”

Nakia looks over disgruntled by the whole affair. “Is it or is it not a custom of western culture for the two getting married to sleep separately the night before the wedding?”

Steve groans. “This isn’t up for debate. We aren’t and don’t want to be in the US, so making us sleep apart seems like a form of torture.”

Bucky can feel the apprehension from Steve, he can feel how his fiancé is truly upset by this, but watching the faces of their family, he can also see that they really are trying to do something special for them. “How about this?” All eyes land on Bucky. “How about we have dinner?”

The room then descends into more chaos over what they should do about dinner. Ramonda finally silences them and points at the door. “I have made arrangements for dinner already, so come, come, let’s go.” Without much of a choice, they head up the ridge to the transport.

Steve quietly talks to Bucky on the way up. “I don’t like this idea.” 

“Yes, I can feel that, but they are trying to do something nice for us. They are trying to honor some of what we came from even if it isn’t necessary.” Steve caves and sees what his family is doing for them.

“Okay, but you call me if you need me.” He clings to Bucky’s hand. “They’re taking you away from me for a night and it’s not fair.”

Bucky squeezes his hand. “Way to sound like a grownup, Steve.” 

Dinner is lovely and fun, but when they get back to the farm, Steve tries everything he can to delay Bucky’s departure for the palace. T’Challa stays with Steve that night and promises to make sure he’s okay when Bucky frets over him before leaving. They arrive at the palace and Bucky is put in the room that he stayed in his first night in Wakanda. There’s a hanging bag by the closet that Bucky knows are his robes for tomorrow. He hasn’t seen them yet, but he trusts Ramonda. He’s not even settled in yet when there’s a knock on the door. He finds Wanda on the other side, grinning like a loon. “Should I be scared?”

She giggles, grabbing his arm and pulling him from the room. “No, but you will be surprised.”

She drags him to the living room and he can hear two voices in the kitchen. “How did they even know that I like this kind of yogurt?”

Bucky looks at Wanda, stunned. She nods and pushes him towards the kitchen. Both of them turn just as Bucky inhales a sharp breath. “Sam? Darcy?”

They scream at the same time, causing Wanda to bark a laugh. “BUCKY?”

“Wha…how…who…” Sam’s got him wrapped in his arms and Darcy is wiggling her way into the hug. Bucky doesn’t stop the tears and he can hear that his friends are just as affected by seeing him again. He pulls back, looking at their faces. “How did you get here?”

Wanda doesn’t wait for them to try to answer. “I sent them a message and invited them.” Bucky looks worried. “Don’t worry, no one knows they are here and they don’t even know why they are really here.”

Sam looks over. “You mean there’s more than just seeing that our friend is okay?”

Bucky lifts his arm, showing his mark and then his hand, showing the ring. “I’m getting married tomorrow and I guess Wanda decided I needed my friends.” Wanda is nodding.

“Holy Shit! Who are you marrying? I mean congratulations. Now who the fuck are you marrying?” Bucky looks over at Wanda and she shakes her head.

“White Wolf.” Wanda nods because the identity of his mate can’t leave this country. Darcy squeals and throws herself into Bucky’s arms. Sam looks over at Wanda and knows that some information is being withheld.

“You gonna tell us who he really is?” Darcy smacks Sam in the chest.

“I don’t care who he really is, but in my head, I’m picturing a tall, really built, Denzel Washington.” She looks back at Bucky as Wanda loses her self-control and collapses on the sofa laughing. “Oh, please tell me that he looks like Denzel.”

Bucky just stands there, looking at Wanda then Sam and Darcy. “I’m just going to let you wait until tomorrow.” They grab drinks and pile into the living room. Bucky sits with Wanda, holding her close, while Sam and Darcy ask him all about his life here and how it happened.

Bucky tells them the truth, without names. “White Wolf came to see me because he felt drawn to me. One touch and we knew.” He looks down at Wanda, who has snuggled down next to him. “I left with them.” He looks up at his friends. “Listen, I know sneaking away like that wasn’t cool, but I didn’t want to hear you telling me that it was a bad idea to give up my life.” He looks at Sam. “What you didn’t understand because I couldn’t make you understand was that my life there was over. That kidnapping messed with me in ways that I couldn’t put into words.” He glares at them. “And I don’t know who put the bugs in my apartment, but I didn’t appreciate that.”

Sam looks over at Darcy and nods. “We didn’t find out until later, but Tony wanted to keep an eye on you in case anything happened. As soon as we found out,” Darcy clears her throat. “You were already gone, but Sam really let him have it, told him that doing that was as bad as what Ross did. If we had known, we would have pulled them immediately.”

Bucky sighs, glad that it wasn’t his friends that had done it. “Thanks for that.” Shuri comes speeding into the room, pulling Nakia along with her. She plops down against Wanda, cuddling as close as possible. Nakia takes the other side of Bucky and he wraps an arm around her.

“What are we talking about?” Shuri sees the serious faces. “Because this is not a night for serious, this is a night for fun, games, and laughter.”

Sam and Darcy look like they don’t know what to do, which Bucky finds hilarious. “What’s the matter guys, having trouble dealing with the fact that the Queen of Wakanda and Princess Shuri are about to raid our fridge and get us drunk?”

“Yeah man, a little bit.” That doesn’t stop them though from drinking and listening to stories about Bucky learning Wakandan.


	50. Chapter 50

Steve lays on the floor of the living room, staring up at the ceiling while T’Challa gets him a beer from the fridge. “Brother, are you going to lay there all night moping for your love?”

Steve huffs. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” T’Challa laughs and sits again on the sofa. “Why was this particular tradition necessary?”

“Because Shuri and Wanda had something special planned for Bucky.” Steve looks over, curiosity clear on his face. “Oh no, I will not tell you because my wife is in on this and I will not get in trouble with her.”

Steve rolls onto his stomach. “Are you afraid of your wife?” 

T’Challa draws himself up as much as he can while seated. “I fear no man, Brother, but yes, I am afraid of my wife.” Steve snickers at that and takes a drink. “May I ask you a question?”

Steve cocks his head to the side. “Of course, you know we have no secrets.”

“Does it bother you that your team has moved on?” Steve looks at him confused. “That Captain America wears a new face.”

Steve swings his legs around and sits up. “It caught me off guard, yes, but it didn’t bother me.” T’Challa waves his hand for Steve to continue. “I became ‘Captain America’ before I really understood what it would all mean. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in 2012 and overwhelmed with the newness of it. It was a part I played and the more I played it, the less it made sense.” Steve shrugs. “Walking away from that wasn’t the hard part. Walking away from a group of people I had started to think of as family, that was the hard part.” T’Challa nods his understanding. “Coming here gave me a life and a family that I never dreamed I could have.” T’Challa leans over, clinking bottles with Steve.

Steve wakes the following morning, reaching over for Bucky. When he doesn’t find his love there, he sits up quickly finding his brother standing in the doorway. “He is at the palace. I just spoke to him and he is fine.”

Steve takes a breath. “Yeah…yeah, okay.”

“I have breakfast ready and Mother and Nakia will be here soon to help you get ready. I must return to make sure that everything is as I have been instructed that it should be.” He’s grinning and Steve returns the smile.

“I’ll be there in just a minute.” Heading into the bathroom, Steve wants more than anything to contact Bucky, just to hear his voice, but they took everything from him so that he couldn’t do that. T’Challa leaves after eating and soon, Nakia and Ramonda are coming through the door with bags that Steve doesn’t even want to deal with.


	51. Chapter 51

Bucky sits patiently as Shuri does his hair. Wanda watches from the doorway with Darcy. “So, did you just decide not to cut your hair ever again?”

Bucky cuts his eyes over to her. “It was already past my shoulders when I left. I like it.”

Shuri grins into the mirror. “More than that, White Wolf likes it.”

Bucky blushes furiously. “Yeah, there’s that too, but in my defense, his hair is longer than mine.”

“Not after today.” Everyone looks over at Wanda: Shuri looks annoyed, Darcy looks intrigued, and Bucky looks panicked. “Oh no, Nakia is going to take off about four inches, that’s all. He’s started sitting on it again.”

Bucky snorts a laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. But that better be all!”

Shuri drags his head back around. “She is also going to shave the sides again.” Buck nods at that and Darcy looks even more intrigued.

“Who is this guy because the more you talk, the hotter he sounds.” Sam comes around the corner then, only hearing the last part.

“Are you talking about me again?”

Steve looks at himself once his hair is done and weaved into a braid that is more elaborate than anything he’s ever seen. Ramonda stands behind him, smiling proudly. “Now, get dressed, it is almost time to go.”

Bucky stand in front of the mirror looking at himself in the robes his future mother-in-law delivered to him. Shuri comes in, dressed like the princess that she is and Wanda looks equally as royal. Sam and Darcy freeze in the adjoining doorway, gasping. “I didn’t think that I would be wearing white.” T’Challa and Nakia neither one wore white and Bucky is a little confused.

Shuri comes over. “It isn’t our tradition, but it is yours. Today is about bringing two traditions together. White Wolf will be wearing white as well, but it is the design that you must embrace. Today, you become husband to the oldest son of the royal family. Today you, my brother, become royalty.” She holds out the top robe. “This design was chosen specifically for White Wolf when he became part of our family.”

Bucky tears up, looking over at Wanda, then at Sam and Darcy. “Thank you.”

As they head down, Sam leans into Darcy. “Did you catch that?”

Darcy smirks. “Damn right I did.” They neither one know what it means, but today they’re going to find out what all the secrecy is about. White Wolf wasn’t born into this family, but he is as much their family as the King. 

This ceremony is smaller than T’Challa and Nakia’s, but everyone that is in attendance means something to either Wakandan tradition or to Steve and Bucky. When everyone is seated, because this wedding has chairs, soft music plays. T’Challa comes to the front, under an overhang with flowers weaved through it, and stands in black robes with a silver pattern sewn in. It was decided by Ramonda that Steve and Bucky would enter from opposite sides at the same time and make their way to the front. When the music changes, she escorts her son in and Nakia brings in Bucky.

When they see each other, the grooms only have eyes for the other. Darcy sees Steve and elbows Sam, who was watching Bucky. Sam looks up and nearly shouts. White Wolf is Steve Rogers. Steve Rogers is alive. Looking back at his friend, Sam sees tears already gathering in Bucky’s eyes. 

Bucky feels a love so overwhelming that he knows it’s not just his own. He knows he’s feeling his love and Steve’s in a feedback loop through their bond. As they arrive at the front, Ramonda kisses both of them and takes Nakia to sit. Sam and Darcy sit down, but their mouths are still hanging open.

T’Challa sighs in pleasure. “Today we come here because my brother found his soul mate, but I believe before he knew this information, he loved James. We also come here, unlike what we are used to because today we are bringing together not only soul mates, men bound together by fate, but binding together two traditions. Steven, White Wolf, is part of Wakanda, brought to us through those that have passed on. James, Man of Ethics, joins Wakanda today through love.” He looks down at the two men that haven’t taken their eyes off of each other. “So, today, we will join these two through two traditions.” Shuri comes forward with a rope, white with silver and gold threads weaved into the fiber. “Brother, you come here of your own free will to join with this man?”

Steve, reaches up, caressing Bucky’s cheek. “I do.”

“James, you come here of your own free will to join with this man?”

Bucky breath hitches. “I do.”

Shuri takes the rings out of her pocket and hands them to T’Challa. The King hands them over to Steve and Bucky. “James, take Steven’s left hand.” Bucky does, but is shaking. “James, as you place the ring on Steven’s hand, repeat: this ring is a symbol of my eternal and undying love for you.” Bucky does as instructed. Steve does the same. “Now, I believe the two of you have written vows.” They nod. “James.”

Bucky looks up at Steve, taking his right hand so he’s holding both. “Steve, I think like many, I had a crush on the man you were, but I love the man you are now. It’s easy to have a crush on an idea because you don’t gamble any part of yourself.” Steve swallows hard. “But knowing who you’ve become made it so easy to truly fall in love with you. Your mark tells me that we belong together, this ring tells me the length of your love, but your heart tells me the depth of your love. We have an eternal bond that I will cherish every day of our lives. I will honor you because you are good to me. I promise that there will never come a day when I don’t wake up and pour my love into you. You are my everything, Steve and our love will never die.”

Bucky lets out a hitched sob and Steve doesn’t even try to hold back the tears. T’Challa nods at his brother and Steve tightens his grip on Bucky’s hands. “Bucky, it was easy to fall in love with you. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. When we hadn’t met, I missed you. When we did meet, I longed for you. When we touched, I was complete. Bucky, you’ve always been a part of me and not just because of our fate, but because my first mother, Sarah, told me as a child that someday there would be someone that called to my soul. You called to me even before the marks. I will cherish the light you bring into my life for all of my life. I will honor you because you give so much to me in the most honest way that anyone ever has. I promise that you will never have a day that you are unsure about my love for you. There is only you and you are everything.”

T’Challa takes the rope from Shuri and binds their hands together, resting his on top. “This is more than a pleasure for me because this is my family. Steven and James, this rope is a symbol for the combining of two lives. Today you join yourselves as one. Today your hearts, minds, bodies, and souls join. You breathe for the other, you live for the other, you are one together.” The King smirks at the two that still haven’t looked anywhere, but at each other. “Seal your bond with a kiss.” 

Steve hesitates just millimeters from Bucky’s lips. “I love you today and every day to come.” His lips find Bucky’s and there’s clapping, cheering, and a little crying from the guests.

Bucky reaches up when Steve pulls back. “Every day to come.” He caresses Steve’s face.


	52. Chapter 52

The after is when things get complicated. Sparkling wine is served and the happy couple makes their way around to thank everyone. Sam and Darcy move to a far table so they will be last. When they finally make it to the table, Sam stands. “Now are you going to explain this?”

Bucky looks embarrassed, but not ashamed. “We couldn’t tell you until after and now we have to ask you to do us a huge favor.”

Darcy doesn’t even wait for him to explain. “If you think we’re going to leave here and tell anyone about this, you’re stupid.” Bucky grins at her as she offers her hand to Steve. “Never got a change to meet you Steve and I’m glad you aren’t dead, but you hurt him and I’ll find you and kick you in your super soldier nuts.”

The laugh that Steve releases is pure joy. “That is not something I want to incur so you can bet I won’t ever hurt him.”

She nods defiantly. “Good, now get your ass over here Barnes and hug me.”

As he gives her a hug, he responds, “It’s actually Rogers now.”

Later that night, instead of retreating to their farm, Steve and Bucky stay at the palace with the others so they can talk more with Sam and Darcy. It also gives the two Americans time to watch the dynamic with the family and it’s very clear that this is a family. Steve moves around them like he was born to them and Bucky leans into Ramonda’s side in a way that’s very much mother and son. They divvy up more cake from the reception and open more bottles of sparkling wine.

Once everyone is comfortable, Bucky looks up from where he’s leaning into Steve. “Ask anything you want to know.”

He knows that Sam and Darcy have questions and has been preparing himself since last night for this. Darcy looks over, grinning. “So, Steve, what’s with the hair?”

Steve chuckles and the rest of the room laughs. Once they come down from merriment, Steve starts to answer as Bucky reaches up and starts running his hand over the brain hanging over Steve’s shoulder. The look of adoration from Steve is palpable. “It had already started growing out when I came here and because of the serum it grows faster. After a while, I really liked it because it was completely different from who I was before. And I needed to let go of who I was before.” Steve captures Bucky’s hand, that’s been brushing over his braid the whole time and kisses his palm. 

“I love his hair.” There’s several snorts from the room.

“Of course you do.” Darcy can’t help herself and continues the thought. “Gives you something to hang on to.”

“DARCY!” Sam reaches over, cupping his hand over her mouth. Looking back at this room of people that are definitely family and definitely don’t have a problem giving the newlyweds a hard time. “How did all this happen? I mean the whole world watched you die.”

T’Challa breaks in because that was really his decision. “When Steven stood up to your government in defense of my country’s sovereign rights, he became our champion outside of these borders.”

Ramonda takes up the story. “We talked extensively about what it would mean to bring in an outsider, but we could not leave him out there alone.”

“We brought them here to protect them, but they found their way into our hearts and the hearts of our people.” Nakia looks over the room and how things have come together. “The decision to have Steve die was not an easier choice, but it was necessary for their protection. If we had not, your people would still be looking for him.”

Sam nods because he does get that, it’s just that now that he knows, he wants to yell at how that messed with his best friend. Bucky looks over smiling, like he knows what Sam is thinking. “If that hadn’t happened, Sam, I wouldn’t be here now. Yes, it nearly killed me. I felt my heart ripping from my chest, but I had so much happening at the times, it was just one more trauma to deal with.”

“It didn’t occur to me at the time that he was feeling the same pain I was. It worked and protected us at the time, but I felt a hole where the hope of someday meeting him would have been. I had to let that go.” Steve gently strokes a thump over Bucky’s cheek. “But look at us now.”

Bucky looks over at his friend. “Do you understand why this has to stay between us? They can’t know that he’s alive or they’ll try to drag him back into a life that isn’t him anymore.”

Sam nods, he does get it, but it does make him sad. “I know you’re right. If Tony or Natasha knew, they would try to get to him. They have a lot of guilt over how they treated you, man.”

Steve huffs a chuckle. “They are good people, even when they don’t believe it about themselves, but they were never the family I needed. When they didn’t trust me with their plan, it was clear what I really was to them. In fact, that’s the trauma that brought my mark out.”

Sam and Darcy leave the next day with the promise that they will come back when they can. They’d been told the night before that they were welcome in Wakanda anytime and they left with the promise of returning when it wouldn’t send up too many red flags with the team.


	53. Chapter 53

They don’t go on a honeymoon until Sam and Darcy leave for home, so two days after the wedding, Okoye drops them at a villa in the South of France. “The villa has been stocked, so there is no need to leave here. You have a private beach, so no one will see you.” She turns to go. “You have one week and I will return for you.”

As she disappears, Steve grins down at Bucky. “Do you suppose she gave the same warning to T’Challa?”

Buck turns in Steve’s arms. “I don’t know and right now, I don’t care. Take me to bed, Rogers.”

Steve scoops him up and heads up the stairs. “Yes sir.”

The night before they are due to head home, Steve spreads a blanket on the beach and builds a fire. They watch the play of the light from the moon on the water and breathe in the night air. Bucky sits in the V of Steve’s legs, playing with his husband’s fingers. “You have such strong hands. Hands that protect so many, but can be so tender.”

“You have a hand fetish I should know about?” They both chuckle. Steve uses the hand not being caressed by Bucky to pull the man’s hair aside and kiss his neck. “Thank you for marrying me.”

“Was there ever any doubt in your mind that I would say yes?” Steve doesn’t answer immediately and that tells Bucky the answer to his question. Turning in Steve’s arms, he takes his husband’s face in his hands. “There was never a world where I would have said no. Being your soul mate wasn’t enough. Bonding with you wasn’t enough. I’m selfish and wanted it all.”

Steve smiles brightly. “I’m glad you are selfish about this. I wanted it all too.” Laying him down, they spend the next several hours making out on the beach. 


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue Number 1

Epilogue Part I:

_Five Years Later_

Black Panther practically growls at the men in front of him. Coming into Wakanda and terrorizing the outer villages was the wrong move for these soldiers. They think they have him pinned, but when White Wolf flips over the circle of soldiers, standing back to back with his brother, a few of the soldiers hesitate. By the time the fight is over, 67 soldiers lay unconscious and White Wolf and Black Panther looks on in disgust. “What will happen to them?”

“Okoye is on her way, they will be imprisoned and I will meet with the South African government about this indiscretion.” White Wolf snorts into the com.

“You make it sound almost harmless. This is a blatant disregard for our borders.” One of the solders starts to come to and Steve kicks him in the head just enough to knock him back out.

“Yes well Steve, you get to have that opinion, but as King I have to be a diplomat.”

“Sucks to be you then, Brother.” As the trucks pull up and the Dora file out, the two men laugh all the way back into the surrounding forest, where their transport waits, to make their way home. 

As they board the transport, Steve’s com pings and he hears Bucky’s voice. “Sweetheart, you gotta get home. It’s happening!”

Steve looks over at T’Challa, releasing his mask. “How fast can you get me to the hospital?”

T’Challa grins. “Hold on.”

Steve runs into the hospital, heading to the lift. No one gets in the way as White Wolf runs from the lift, which takes too long, heading for the stairwell. T’Challa arrives minutes after, having waited for the lift. Bucky comes through the double doors, already in scrubs and grabbing his husband. Kasa is grunting and pushing by the time they make it back into the room. When they decided they wanted kids, she had offered her services as a surrogate. Bucky couldn’t believe that she would do this for them, but she told them it would be her honor to help the two men to have something they wanted to desperately. 

Within minutes, both men are crying, holding their beautiful daughter. “What will you call her?”

Kasa looks happy and smiles at how the men look at the little girl. Bucky sniffles, looking up with a grin. “We decided on Rilli.”

“You will have much to explain to the rest of the children that you have chosen to name your daughter after that one.” Steve laughs through tears at her words. He can’t answer, so he just nods.

They aren’t expecting to find all of their family, plus Sam and Darcy at their newly remodeled home when they arrive the next day. No one bothered them at the hospital so they could bond with their new daughter. Steve plans to go to the hospital the following day to make sure that Kasa gets home okay and the Royal Family has already made sure that for the next two weeks, she will not have to worry about meals or cleaning. Kasa also doesn’t realize that she’s made a permanent place in the Royal Family for offering to do this. That she will find out later.

Ramonda is the first to take the baby and looks down on that tiny, lovely face. “She is the most beautiful child I have ever seen.” There are noises of indignation from her own children. She looks up, quirking an eyebrow. “Someday you will have your own grandchildren and understand the joy of their beauty and the lack of responsibility.” Which is completely untrue because Wakandan belief is definitely that children belong to everyone. She looks up smiling at the new fathers. “You are now my favorite children.”

“Mother!” This comes from T’Challa and Shuri.

“What? If you would give me grandchildren too, then you could be my favorite, but for now, Steven and James will hold that title until you do.” She coos down at her granddaughter while Steve and Bucky look proudly at their siblings.

Nakia and T’Challa have talked about it, but have not decided if it’s the right time. Shuri and Wanda just recently bonded and married, so children for them are far in the future. The one thing that is certain to the Queen Mother, is that all of her children are happy and there isn’t anything more important than that.

Steve wakes the following morning to find the bed empty. Going into the nursery, the baby isn’t there either. He finds Bucky outside carrying the baby against his chest, while the children help feed the animals. Alpine sits on a fence post, looking at the goats like they offend him, but Bucky reaches up, scratching his chin. Steve wraps himself around Bucky from behind, resting his hands under Bucky’s arms to cradle the baby too. “Morning.”

Bucky looks up over his shoulder, smiling tiredly. “Morning, Love.” He feels the surge of devotion from his husband and leans into Steve’s chest.

“How did she sleep last night? I didn’t hear anything.” Bucky huffs a laugh.

“She didn’t sleep very well, but I didn’t want her waking you in case you got called for a mission.” Rilli starts to fuss a little and Steve starts to sway them all together. “The kids came this morning and I put them to work.” Steve chuckles.

“I’m glad they came to help.” Steve hooks his chin over Bucky’s shoulder and stares down at his daughter. “You know they ran the test.”

Bucky hums. “I knew they would. What’s the result?”

“She’s got the serum.” Steve hopes that doesn’t make his husband sad. It was a concern when they decided that Steve would be the donor.

What he feels is what comes out of Bucky’s mouth next. “I don’t care about that, you know. As long as she’s happy, I could care less about later.”

“Spoken like a true parent.” They turn to see Okoye with several other Dora following. “We bring you gifts for the newest Princess of Wakanda to welcome her. May she be blessed in all that she does and bring joy to her parents all the days of her life.”

As out of whack as Bucky’s hormones are, he’d think that he actually gave birth to her, so the tears he’s holding back shouldn’t be a surprise. “Your kindness is most welcome and your gifts are gratefully received.” They leave them with meals ready to be cooked, blankets that are softer than anything Bucky’s ever felt, and a tiny set of royal robes. It’s the cutest thing that Bucky and Steve have ever seen.

Bucky looks around after the Dora leave, the children are bathing some of the goats, Steve is carrying the baby now against his broad chest, smiling in a way that’s new, Alpine is following behind him like the cat’s checking to make sure Steve is doing it right and all Bucky can think is how beautiful his life is. Steve looks over, catching his husband’s eyes, and Bucky is nearly knocked over by the flood of love coming through the bond. Yes, his life is damn near perfect.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I made some mistakes in this story. I'm sure everyone will notice them, but after reading this over and over for revision, sometimes I don't see the mistakes. I hope you can forgive me for those and enjoy the story anyway.
> 
> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.

_Twenty Years Later:_

“Are we being joined by the Royals?” The sarcasm is evident in Tony’s voice. “And after all this time, do you think we’ll see the Wolf’s face?”

“Stop it, Dad. Just because you like the limelight doesn’t mean everyone does.” There’s a gasp on the other end along with a lot of chuckling over the com.

“Morgan Stark did you just insult me?” It’s been a few years since Tony donned the Iron Man suit, but that doesn’t stop him or Sam, Natasha, and Bruce from always being on the com every time the Avengers go out.

“I can’t believe you have trouble believing that, Tony.” Sam sits with Tony and the other two in the control room. The four of them gave up avenging a few years ago because age is a bitch, but this new team is pretty incredible. The biggest surprise for all of them was Claudia Janette Banner. Once they realized that CJ carried the serum that courses through Bruce’s veins, but without the added issue of turning into a big, green rage monster, she approached the team with an idea. Sam couldn’t carry the shield anymore, but she could. So, Tony had gone to the drafting program and designed a new suit, one for the new wielder of the shield. Bruce had been terrified for his daughter, but then came to trust her when she admitted she’d been training for years, without his knowledge.

The government wanted to ‘draft’ her into service, but she’d told them to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. Her loyalty was to the Avengers and not the government. CJ taps the com. “I got word that they were going to be here. Seems this threat was big enough that they wanted to help since we are shorthanded today. Katie-did, do you have eyes on them yet?”

“Would you please not call me that! I’m Hawkeye and should be treated with more respect.” There’s snickers through the com again. “And yeah, I have eyes, but there’s something new today.”

Black Panther and White Wolf land on a nearby roof, but there’s a second Wolf with them. “What the hell?”

On the roof next to Black Panther, White Wolf, and another White Wolf, is Scarlet Witch, grinning and waving. She’s made a few trips back to the states to visit Sam and Darcy, who finally got their heads out the asses and got married, but since she’s Wakandan Royalty now, the government has no claim on her. “Well, I’ll be damned.” CJ has a little crush on the older woman, but wouldn’t admit it out loud. The com clicks and the four new members are in the conversation. “Good to see you.”

Steve knew about the new Captain America and was really excited to see her in action. He can only imagine how Bruce feels about this and with that thought he reaches out to place a hand on Rilli’s back. In Wakandan she responds to his concern. “Don’t worry, Papa. I’ve been trained by the best.”

T’Challa knows how difficult this is and when his daughter comes of age and takes the mantle of Black Panther, he will worry too. “Brother, she is ready.” The older man nods, sighing.

When they work with the Avengers, Steve still only speaks Wakandan, but Rilli speaks in English. She has no history with them and no connection. Only Uncle Sam and Aunt Darcy know who they really are. Leaping from the roof of the warehouse, she lands in a crouch, then strides over to the three that are waiting. “I am White Wolf, you may refer to my mentor as Grey Wolf.”

Sam snickers on the com and Rilli grins behind her mask. “Is that a comment on his age?”

She turns to look at her Father, Uncle and Aunt coming towards them. She can only imagine the look her Papa is giving her behind the mask. She’s said it on a few other occasions and each time his eyes narrow and his lips form a thin line. “It is definitely a comment on his age.” She isn’t expecting the light smack to the back of her head.

Steve comments, making T’Challa, Wanda, and Rilli laugh. “Watch yourself Little One or I’ll tell your Dad you’re harassing me.”

Hawkeye chimes in. “We have movement on the north side of the building.”

Tony adds to the conversation. “That’s the exit they’ve been using for the transports.” There’s a brief pause. “And can someone translate what White…Grey Wolf just said. I have a feeling it’s juicy.”

Natasha leans over in the control room and smacks him in the head. “Shut up, Tony.”

Sam snickers and looks at the display. “Cap, it’s your call.”

Morgan takes to the sky in her new suit. She doesn’t go by Iron Man for obvious reasons. Between herself and her father, there’s nothing like this new suit, not even for JR, who flies the new Iron Patriot. Rhodey is really proud of his son and passed the job onto him when JR joined the Air Force and proved himself to the higher-ups in command, but being a general now, Rhodey had the last say. Cap looks at Wanda. “Assist Hawkeye and Rescue from the air.” Wanda swirls in red mist and takes off into the air. “I will never get tired of watching her do that.”

Bruce can’t hold it in any longer and feels the need, like any parent, to embarrass his daughter. “You know she’s married, right?”

Cap blushes and runs towards the building. “When I’m doing this job, could all of you stop doing that?” Black Panther, Grey Wolf, and White Wolf follow on foot. The comments over the com vary from, ‘well that’s not going to happen’ to ‘what kind of parents would we be if we didn’t embarrass our children.’ The shield goes flying when one of the guards starts to call for backup. It takes him out and comes back to the young Cap, who catches it with ease. The door to the warehouse opens and more guards come out, weapons ready. “White Wolf, your assistance please.”

Rilli leaps for the closest man, grabbing him by the head and flipping him over her shoulder, going for the next one. Steve would like to take a minute to appreciate his daughter’s skill, but there isn’t time for that. He and Black Panther make their way into the building, and leap to higher ground. “There are at least 50 armed men inside.” Black Panther looks around. “They have not moved one of the warheads. It is still here.”

Cap comes into the building, White Wolf following. “We have to make sure they don’t fire on it.”

Steve jumps from the rafters, landing near the crate holding the warhead. Fighting off the men coming at him is easy. T’Challa doesn’t pause in his movements, knocking out man after man. Hawkeye sounds a lot like Clint when Cap asks, “How are we looking outside?”

“We’re looking good, but not like we’re trying too hard to look good.”

Cap hangs her head for just a second before punching a guy hard enough that he flies across the warehouse. “Jesus, I work with idiots.” She looks around. “Did we ever determine if these guys have more than one warhead?”

Sam pipes up. “It was never confirmed, but I’d bet they do considering the truck that left just before you guys went in.”

Cap looks over where Black Panther and Grey Wolf are mowing the guards down. White Wolf goes to her. “Shall we?”

Cap grins and nods. “Let’s go see what we can do.” They speed out of the building where Wanda has several trucks of men, screaming in panic, levitating in the air in red mist. Rescue is chasing down boats carrying more men. They run after the truck that left just before they entered the building on the other side and White Wolf points at the cab, leaping for the top of the truck. Cap jumps onto the tailgate and pulls the guard out, leaving him rolling on the ground behind the truck. White Wolf opens the cab door and pulls the driver out, pushing into the cab to take his place. Bringing the truck to a stop is easy after that.

Once they’ve contained the situation, agents show up to do clean up. The team meets back at the original spot and Grey Wolf wraps an arm around White Wolf. “You did good, kid.” Cap watches the exchange. She doesn’t know what he said, but White Wolf leans into him the same way she’s done with her father for years. Then he steps away from her and comes to Cap. He offers his hand. Taking it she knows from stories that Grey Wolf doesn’t interact with them like this. “You handle the shield with honor.”

Grey Wolf turns to T’Challa. “My brother says you wield the shield with honor.”

Cap bows to the man, thanking him. “I had big shoes to fill.”

“Awww, listen to her givin me props.”

“Seriously Wilson, you were a shaky replacement at best.” The mock horror in Sam’s gasp is clear.

On the way home, Steve puts in a call to Bucky. He’s on the screen within the first ping. “How is she? Did she get hurt?”

Rilli comes into frame, hugging her Papa. “I’m fine, Dad. I told you I would be fine.”

“You can’t blame me for being worried. It’s what dad’s do.” She giggles and goes to sit with her Aunt Wanda.

“How are you?” Bucky reaches up, touching the screen and Steve mirrors the action.

“I’m good, but I’ll be glad to get home to you.” Both men are a little greyer now, a few more wrinkles around the eyes, but still a love burns so bright in their eyes for the other. “Rilli wants to stay at the palace tonight and watch movies with Wanda and Shuri. Bucky nods. “Maybe we can have a late night picnic when I get home.”

Bucky grins. “I already started packing it for us. Have you given anymore thought to what we talked about?”

Steve turns to looks at his daughter. “I think it’s time. She was incredible today. Such confidence in her ability.”

“She takes after her Papa like that.” Steve turns back to the screen where Bucky is looking for something in his husband’s eyes.

“I came into that confidence later in life. It’s like she was born with it.” Steve touches the screen again. “Bucky, I want to…”

“I know, Love and everyone will understand. Like you said, you can go out when it’s absolutely needed, but it sure would be nice to spend more time with you.” Steve lowers his head, nodding. “Hey,” Steve looks up again. “I love you.”

“I love you too, so much that it hurts now when I’m not with you.” Bucky can feel the slight ache along with Steve’s love.

“Then stay with me. Stay with me and let me take your ache away.” Bucky decides to change the subject. “I had a visit with Dr. Nabada this morning.”

Steve looks up anticipating what Bucky is going to tell him. “They are putting me in charge of the ethics department.” Steve beams at him in pride. “I’ll be putting together everything for the First Level Academics. Big Rilli will be helping me since she’s taking over the department at the Academy.”

“Buck, that’s amazing! I’ll take you out to celebrate soon.”

Bucky winks at the screen. “What do you think tonight’s picnic is about?”

Rilli groans from the back of the jet. “Isn’t this kind of affection supposed to simmer down after this many years?”

Steve barks a laugh, but doesn’t take his eyes off his husband. “This kind of love doesn’t ever simmer down.”


End file.
